[One Dart]

DCS Returns as One Dart and The Power Thump Yokels at the Landing

Associated Press, July 21st 2005

A historic event took place this evening as former Dart Championship Series (DCS) members One Dart and The Power returned from retirement to lump the locals at the Landing and take top prize money in the process. What began as a Blazearmyesque orgy of wings turned into a moneyfest for the youngsters as they mowed down the obviously overmatched competition to pocket a cool ten bucks each. Reached after his tenth pint, The Power had this to say "Well, we saw the old man Sidewinder at Association the other night and he was fukcing trashed, oh, you wanted something about Darts? The locals stood no chance in three way cricket, we brought our own rules and sadly they listened to anything we said, we basically could have told them they had to throw blindfolded and they would have listened. Fukcing huns." One Dart was only slightly less beligerent, " They really didn't stand a chance. Anyone coming from such a pedigree as the DCS shouldn't have any problem with lame asses who think diddling for the middle is trying to stick their mickey gilley in their portly friends belly button." Nostalgically he had this to say, "Well, I saw Walks there the week before and he was doing his best not to kick down walls and hit on the tattoed waitress, it nearly brought a tear to my eye to tell the truth, I guess we were just longing for a simpler time when getting shitfaced and throwing sharp objects at each other was the norm." Reached en route to Belfast, Tilly Tompkins lamented "If only we could turn back the clock and change things back to the way they were. Sidewinder having a seizure mid-throw, Blazearmy having a case of Corona's, Walks stealing flats from the cooler, Double In melting down because he forgot to print off the standings, Bravedart being late because he was babysitting his ex's dogs, The Power having one beer and going home and One Dart beating the living shit out of everyone and drinking both of the free pitchers. I heard the JB broke a finger, that might actually help the poor bastard." In game action this evening it was never close as the OD/TP juggernaut readily accepted the money challenge from the riff raff at the Landing. They handily defeated them and took their money while doing a poor job of containing their laughter. Check out the landing next week as they are favoured to continue their dominance over their inferior opponents.

AP