After the NFL Season. With the his team’s season coming to a premature end on Saturday, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has discovered he has more time on his hands than ever before – time he can use to delve deeply into one of his great passions: Internet porn.
“God, I love me some Internet porn,” said Brady. “During the season I don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to it, unfortunately. I have to spend all those hours at practice, studying film of opposing defenses, giving interviews, et cetera – that all really cuts into my porn hobby.”
But since the Patriots arrived back in Boston early Sunday morning following their playoff elimination in Denver, Brady has been online from the moment he arrived home.
“My girlfriend is away shooting some movie, so I’m all alone here and it’s been great,” said Brady. “Other than a few hours here and there to grab some sleep or get something to eat, I’ve been in front of my computer without any pants on for almost 72 hours. What a way to pass a week. Competing for a Super Bowl is great, but in all honesty, it doesn’t beat some alone time with my laptop.”
Brady disclosed his love of Internet porn in the September issue of “GQ Magazine.” But since the issue hit newsstands, his surfing time has been limited by all the time constraints of the football season. But no more.
“Some of my favorite sites have really done a great job of adding new photos and videos,” said Brady. “The world of Internet porn is a rapidly evolving place. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
And in addition to his bookmarked porn sites, Brady likes to find new adult sites he has yet to explore.
“Google is probably the greatest invention ever for pornophiles like myself,” said Brady. “Do you know that if you type in ‘hot teen sluts’ into Google it comes back with more than 4.3 million results? It’s true. I might have to show up late for training camp next season with all that awesomeness to wade through. And that’s just one search term. Stuff like ‘barely legal’ and ‘Asian lesbians’ brings back just as many results. Unfortunately though – and this is quite a bummer – if you type in ‘man on goat’ you only get a few hundred. And most of those are just blogs talking about the goat photo from my ‘GQ’ spread. Apparently some people found it a bit unsettling. Not me though. I got a boner.” |