David "Enron" Stadnyk has really done well for himself over the past few months.
I understand that Stadnyk has relinquished all ties to the team - they're now operated by the A-League, with Lenarduzzi assuming all GM duties.
"Red is the color, bankruptcy is the game"
How sad.
In an effort to save money, the team will now be forced to sell cost-effective products in their vendors. Club Z Cola and Safeway Select Soda will now take over from Coke and Pepsi. Mr. Pibb replaces Dr. Pepper, and Orange Crush will now be "Orange Drink".
Want a succulent Swanguard Hamburger? Not after you taste the new "Compressed Meat Product Burger". Mmmmmm....pig snout......
In other cost-cutting moves, bench boss Tony Fonseca will now triple his productivity as director of ticket sales and head custodial engineer.
Even the beloved Looney Bird didn't make the cut, as he will be replaced by the new fan-friendly mascot - "Fat Guy in an extra-small 86ers jersey, who will work for Frosted Malts" |