"Writing" that is too difficult to decipher in the Inglishe Langwidge Thread"

[Hands of Stone]

Originally posted by Captain Shamrock
Another feeble attempt from a part-time blue nose.

You are right Capt., I am only a part-time blue nose, so I will only celebrate ONE of the THREE CUPS that Rangers won this year.

Which Cup do part-timers celebrate most? I like the League Championship.

What do part-time Celtics supporters celebrate, 1/3 of Jack Shitt.

HOS Part-time Blue Nose

Lets Go Rangers/ Not a Grand Old Team to Play For

[Captain Shamrock]

Lets Go Rangers/ Not a Grand Old Team to Play For

How true is that statement? The most accurate thing you have EVER said on TTP.


Inthehole100mil

Too bad you couldn't help pay PART of their debt. Every little bit would surely help.

[Captain Shamrock]

This apple came from dartstalk.com. Beauty.

thats wat we call them ere in australia sussie and this is a great site so no 1s bagging no1 its good 2 be allowed 2 say ya peace u and tony david would get on well u should leave ya comments on the dart board and how would u feel if u were no 1 in australia and never got picked 4 ya country no wonder darts is going down

Great stuff. Apparently ignoring punctuation is almost as important as Fosters Beeaah down unda....

[Dude]

I've just caught up on a the chat over the past few weeks, and figured i'd throw a few comments in:

a. we know premier is tough, probably tougher than we even think, but apparently the league, and a few others think we can compete, so why all the talk about us getting slammed in premier, can't we wait for the season to see what happens

b. we all know there are going to have to be a few changes to the team to keep it competive every game, especially that we have a few college players which won't be available till november sometime, but as i said we expected this and should be fine, as well, we are all looking forward to the challenge of playing competively in every game we play, which is something we haven't gotten over the last few years with the lower teams in both div.1 and cat

c. to those who haven't seen any of our games over the last year, or very few, and are commenting on the team, hope to see u out for a few this year, alot of the guys have stepped it up big time, much of this due to players leaving for work, school, or concussions, as well we have picked up a few players which has only strengthened our core

d. to comment on the way we got to premier, if other teams were given the chance to take the jumps that were given when they were starting out, would they not have taken them? sure we could have played div.4 last year, but two things would have happened: i. the team would have split up and possibily never come back together or ii. stuck it out, and be in the position we are at now in 5 or 6 years. Personally i think we have been given some great opportunities, and as long as we take advantage of them, were deserving of them

e. "Bad Blood"... come on, obviously there were differences over the last few years, but the majority of the lions have played for north delta their whole lives, why change that, it was only time before North Delta Youth Soccer Association becomes North Delta Soccer Association, which includes youth and adult, and from what I hear possibly womens soccer in time, on top of that, before the lions and a few other teams moved back to north delta, there was no real destination for us to go to, most guys don't play anymore, and the others are scattered around the Valley and a few in Vancouver, with the (i believe) 2 u-21 teams, and the div.4, div.2, and now premier teams, it gives the youth players a place to play right out of u-18, so for a few people to say we are selfish, and only switched to try to play premier (cause when we did it, there was only ONE allowed from each club) is ignorant, i've got little brothers that can now play in north delta when they are old enough, and it gives all of the youth something to watch and strive for

In conclusion, sorry bout that last bit got a little preachy, anyway, thanx for the support from the few, hope we can prove ourselves worthy of the spot this season, kamloops is gonna kick ass, and Go Lions Go

Wow.

Let's play a game...kind of like "Where's Waldo". Can you count the number of run-on sentences?

[Captain Shamrock]

It's all about the comma splice, all about the comma splice......Good find, Dudewheresmyrun-onsentence.

[kurgan]

Can you count the number of run-on sentences?

Two.

[Peter]

This might come down as one of those prescriptive vs. descriptive grammar things but...there's been a rampant misuse of a phrase that's been getting on my nerves:

"would of"

This is a deconstructed version of a contraction:

"would've" or, broken out:

"would have"

not

"would of"


Carry on...

[Fastshow]

Well said, Pierre, I does my nut too.


Those who write and say it should of went to school a bit more.

[Fastshow]

Grammar Rules for the Unenlightened

Or: How to Write Good

Don't use no double negatives.
Don't never use no triple negatives.
No sentence fragments
Corollary: Complete sentences: important.
Stamp out and eliminate redundancy.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
All generalizations are bad.
Corollary: All statements must be specific.
Never listen to advice.
Take care that your verb and subject is in agreement.
A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.
Anarchy should be the law.
Corollary: I will establish democracy by dictatorial decree.
Everyone should be a non-conformist.
People who insult others are jerks.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Death to intolerance.
Down with categorical imperatives.
Avoid those run-on sentences that just go on, and on, and on, they never stop, they just keep rambling, and you really wish the person would just shut up, but no, they just keep going, they're worse than the Energizer Bunny, they babble incessantly, and these sentences, they just never stop, they go on forever...if you get my drift...
Nobody has a right to his opinion.
Never contradict yourself always.
Good people like I are never self-righteous.
You should never use the second person.
The passive voice should never be used.
We Scorpios don't believe in astrology.
When dangling, watch your participles.
Why no, Ossifer, I'm not under the alcofluence of incohol.
Never go off on tangents, which are lines that intersect a curve at only one point and were discovered by Euclid, who lived in the sixth century, which was an era dominated by the Goths, who lived in what we now know as Poland...
Always do what is right, even if it's wrong.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations."
Excessive use of exclamation points can be disastrous!!!!!
Remember to end each sentence with a period
Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
Don't use question marks inappropriately?
Don't be terse.
Don't obfuscate your theses with extraneous verbiage.
Never use that totally cool, radically groovy out-of-date slang.
Stop calling me immature or I'll tell on you.
Avoid tumbling off the cliff of triteness into the black abyss of overused metaphors.
Keep your ear to the grindstone, your nose to the ground, take the bull by the horns of a dilemma, and stop mixing your metaphors.
We will fight to the death for our pacifist aims.
Avoid those abysmally horrible, outrageously repellent exaggerations.
Avoid any awful anachronistic aggravating antediluvian alliterations.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

[Keeper]

October 10, 2003
(Reuters) Paris -- The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has been accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas...

[Keeper]

They get worse when they get angry:

Originally posted by Sid:
coach I have never had sour grapes ,But what club does not call you & have the balls to tell you up front that they are moving on --I dropped players that wernt training,wernt performing,wernt in the need ,fat players just wanting to get a game,!!but didnt train,what type of people win championships!!Ill tell look at ROY KEANE,no there is a fcuking winner,he wins every battle plays injured,he is a fcuking winner,NOT A FCUNING KUNT,by the way what have you ever one COACH ,dont talk F.V.S.L. shite,talk the talk WEE MAN,funny thing all these guys born in CANADA talking british slang TWATS WEE MAN

[Keeper]

I dont look up i just look up at a screen in fact i look down so you are no further up than when you started.

I'm no further than when I started either. What, exactly, are you trying to say?

[Fastshow]

.....the rest of his team had stopped efforting well before he did.

The fcuk is 'efforting'? Is that some kind of new American-English? Like when people say a non-word like 'dove' when what they mean is 'dived'?

I shall effort to find out.......

[Captain Shamrock]

Mr. England,

I appreciate you finding that cracker 'efforting'. Well done. HOWEVER, 'dove' is in fact a word.



dove - any bird of the pigeon family


Also, dove is the past tense of dive. It says so in the Random House Webster's Dictionary.

Either way, using 'efforting' as a verb was nothing short of sensational. Good find.

[Fastshow]

Billy Britain,

Your cute nickname for me is Mr. England so, implicit in that, I hereby refuse to acknowledge any nonsense you choose to quote me from any American-English dictionnary. I speak English. And, in my language, the language of the Oxford English Dictionnary, a dove is a bird of peace or an ecstacy tablet. I have never, nor will I ever, consider 'dove' as the past tense of 'to dive'. Never. I don't care how many people (mis)use it and I do remember it's (mis)use being epidemic in Canada.

You can threaten to kill my Queen, fill my city with fcuking Australians (I know you had something to do with that), and smother me with diving Croats but I will not be moved.

Don't even start me on 'gotten'.

[Captain Shamrock]

Point(s) well taken, Mr. England. I will not let you be moved. You would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling Irishman.


Billy Britain

[BlazeArmy]

www.engrish.com

funny uses of english

[Keeper]

Originally Posted by CBC.com

Twelve members of this year's squad skated in last year's final, in which Canada squandered a 3-1 lead over the final last year from last year's Canadian squad remain on this year's roster.

I think I know what they're trying to say, but I can't seem to follow their French edition website.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/sports/natio...sia050104.html

[knvb]

Banished...

Originally Posted by Mr Base

Guys let get real.Nusland is a class act guy.He is not dumb.He knows if does well in New York they will extend his contract for two more years.Here he head twins and Kesler Burrows and Rypien and Payett.You just watch Sadin will end up in New York with Nasland.If they think that Johnson is the best they can do than we are in for a long season.Good thing they inked Bolduc,They must grab the tough guy from Phinex in order to play agains Dalas and Calgary and Edmonton.As far as "Capitan" Mitchel,a hurd worker but plumber hands can not do it.Hart is Ok but you must back it up with talent.As far as Bieksa as a capitan not Burrows is the guy for that job.A dam hard worker each shift and Ok hands.
It is time to go to young guys for bigger things.Do not panick.We have youth on the farm that can do the job.Also young White he can do the job.We just need a tough guy on each line and things will take care of it self.Twins are good for hundred points each next year.They will get the coin.Morison will be in Toranto soon.Horduchuk is good enough for third line posibly second.If young Hodgson makes the team than guy like Hordachuck will have to play with him to protect the kid.We need one more tough guy that can skate and chip in ten to fifteen goals a year.Third line is very good fourh line is looking good.One guy with twins and one guy on second line.Both must be like Horduchuk with Ok hands.Payett was give a chance but he does not like to get dirty.
As far as D we still need a Hatcher type.

[johnnybluenose]

You had to post it twice, now my eyes are bleeding again...