Westside vs. Buenos Aires

[Freddy]

A little update from Buenos Aires. In case you didn’t know, 29 Westside lads descended on Argentina on Thursday, which is a classic day to continue the “52 Thursday’s of Westside” (we have been getting in a scrimmage on Thursday night for the last few years without a miss – roughly 150 consecutive – gotta have goals, right?). After 25 hours of flight/lay over time with only a few privileged upgrades to first class (the rest in peasant class – haha Freddy made it to the front – oh, the leg room and free booze), we finally got in to the Sol Melia, Buenos Aires. After our Peru trip a couple of years ago, I think we were all expecting the same, fairly seedy South American city – not so. So, back in the 1800’s Parisian’s used to spend half their year in Paris and the come to Buenos Aires – and as such, they brought their architects with them. The two cities have a lot in common – you could easily be confused if you were half gassed. Okay, now down the real skinny . . . hot – real hot, unbelievable. Sure, it was cloudy and 17 degrees, but the chicks are amazing! Granted, we are all married and good lads, these babes are of the opinion of take no prisoners. Sure, they all want $200 which eliminates virtually all of us (a good thing), but holy crap the bodies on these lasses. And here I thought they liked my accent. Quite sadly, no –just the Argentinean Pesos in my pocket – best kept for the $3 pints in the pub.

So, dinner is around 10:30, and then people start hitting the bars around 1:00 am. It goes until 7:00 or whenever you are done. No one gives you the “last call”. So, we took advantage of this parting of the rules. I think at this point, I have been up for 35 hours. If there was a card game involved, Sir M would be in heaven. BA is also known for the beef. Being a cook and all, I appreciate a great cut of meat, and done right. Every restaurant so far has outdone the previous one.

Today, we went to the Boca Junior’s game. They are in second place, 6 points behind the leaders. They need to win all three of their last games to win the league (final game against the #1 team). We are all in the side/end-zone, right beside the “hooligans” – they actually call them that and treat them as such. Well, let me tell you, I have been to a few Whitecaps games in my life . . . hahahahaha – this goes without description. 65,000 fans out of their farking gourds with passion. The refs take the field and everyone chants “Punta”. The place is electric. I guess “punta” means bitch. Maybe we can adopt a chant before each game to welcome the 50% b.s. refs in our league? Everyone is jumping, swinging their arms and singing one of about 15 different songs that basically tell the other team they are shyte, their mother smells of old fish, and even after they were done with her, she still wanted more, while waving their arm back and forth similar to the Atlanta Brave’s Tomahawk move. Then they drop 10 million pieces of paper from the top level – it is snowing paper for 10 minutes. Shit is on the field, people are going nuts. Fortunately, Boca was in full command, scored two beautiful goals in the first half in our end. Then, scored two fast goals in the 2nd to close it out 4-0. So, when the opposing team takes a corner kick, they have guards with these huge shields that protect the players from getting gobbed on. I swear that these guys get tickets based on their ability to launch a long distance looger with accuracy. I saw a kid literally get punched for taking a wind up to gob on a guy taking the kick. Can you imagine your life as a gob shield cop? So, did I mention the cheerleaders? Downrightun****ingbelieveable. I have been a lot of places, I have seen a lot of things, but I have never seen 20 world class asses with blue thongs rammed up their cracks like this. Once we get back, this stuff is going on Utube. Truly unbelievable. I want to open up a chain to compete with Hooters. I think I will call it Boca Asses. These girls were off the Richter scale. The 4th from the left taking the first place prize as voted by most of us with my binoculars. We have some classic video footage of all of us laughing and making rude comments along the way. We probably need one of those voice synthesizers to modify our voices so none of us get outed. On the way out, the entire crowd is still singing songs. We have a lot to learn.

Tomorrow, we golf, then have a 7-aside tourney on some ranch. Could be interesting . . .

[Peter]

After that post, I don't know if you're still married Freddy. What happened in the first game you played? I thought it was the day you landed?

[Regs]

Pictures!!!

[Freddy]

Oh no - that may have been a drunken post, but nothing of that kind happening down here. The first game was pushed out a few days because it had rained pretty hard when we got here, so the field was unplayable. We are off in 20 minutes for the make-up. And, I swear I didn't look at even one woman today!

[One Dart]

Boca Asses. Fukcing magic.

[Dude]

And, I swear I didn't look at even one woman today

You must have been hung-over and in bed all day, probably crashed out after the first EPIC post.

[Freddy]

Dude - well called. Frankly, I have been in a haze since about the time we passed over calgary. The funny thing is, it was 25 hours getting here and I don't feel like I have missed a minute, despite being ahead by 5 hours. An off side previous post - well, yes, but probably just truthful under beer goggles.

So, you would think I wouldn't be posting again hammered - wrong. We just got back from the 7-aside tourny (2:30 am). We boarded a big bus out of BA for about 1.5 hours. We got to this rural setting with an epic field, probably 60x40 yards and smaller goals, on this palatial estate. The house was amazing. No other team was around, so we suited up and did about a 60 minute 7 on 7 with running subs. Probably not our best bet as 3 teams came to play us. Granted, we are 29 guys, but 4 went down with ASS injuries (Aging Soccer Syndrome as my brother tells me).

In the first game, we saw some hot shots - a bunch of 35-37 year olds. A great game ensues, but one where we really don't know the rules. Do you slide tackle? If you are 5 yards away from the goal, do you blast one, how hard do you really go in? Well, we learned the hard way, you do. The game was very intense, resulting in our first South American loss 5-4. The second game (we divided all of us into 2 equal teams) faced the next guys and tied 3-3. Again great xoccer. These guys are fast on the ball and take a rip from anywhere. In the final game (whoever was till capable of playing), we took them 3-0 with some epic goals, Special kudos to or Dentist, Davey for outstanding play in the final two games. Sure, I could rub a lot of guy's egos with strong play, but Davey showed a new kind of form we haven't seen before.

I would happily give up soccer as we know it for this great 7-aside in warm conditions, stellar field, and brilliant clubhouse. I guarantee it would become the 0-40 Premier thing if we could just pull off the pitch/clubhouse. All the fun, with out 50 yard sprints. All of us had a blast. We showered up (amazing Italy-like facilities), then proceeded in to the social room. Again, promises of pictures coming, but God do we need a club house like this. They had 2 massive in-door natural BBQs with sausages and tenderloins going over real wood coals. The beers, wine and single malt were flowing non stop. All teams plus our organizer inside. We partied until 1:00, with some awards for their MVPs and other heart-felt awards.

On the side, a number of them told us what they had expected and thought. They play there every Tuesday night and know their little field. They had taken bets and assumed they would beat us 8-0 on average. So, considering we had more goals overall, or lost-tied-won, this was not something they possibly expected. They were franky disturbed they did not demolish us.

We play them again this Thursday on a normal field. No excuses like some who post on TTP, but in retrospect, we shouldn't have scrimmaged for an hour before playing these guys, you were only allowed to wear turf boots, so half our guys were skating around with shitty indoor boots, and we didn't play our "A" team. I am sure they have rationalizations too, but next Thursday's rubber match will be very interesting. I expect to see their best 11 and certainly ours. Politically, I suppose the outcome was the best thing that could have happened.

We are off to Uruguay for a couple of days. Fun stuff all the way.

By the way, it wasn't put in my original post, but all of us have shed tears and laughed hard in memory of our dear friend, Marcus. He is with us in spirit and every Cheers/Salute. Our trip is dedicated to his honor. For you Marcus - we are all remembering everything you are with our club.

Freddy.

[Dude]

Classy salute to Keeper.

I can't wait for the next post. This sounds like a trip every over 35 player should take. When all is said and done, you need to post the "how to" details.

[Peter]

Dude, you basically need 2 things to get this going:

1) a "local" guy from where you want to go who has connections who now plays with you.

2) somebody with insane organizational skills who also plays with you, has the patience of Job and is willing to do it all for nothing.

Take those two things, add a bunch of guys who can afford to go and like the game and voila! You're watching latina asses behind your sunglasses sipping a pisco sour.

[Dude]

Damn...

We may need to borrow your "guy". Seriously, this "guy" could make himself a nice little tour business, if he plays his cards right. 15-20 guys tacking on an extra couple of hundred to pay for the "guy", plus a little bonus. Sounds like a good gig to me.

Have your "guy" contact my "guy" (Utah) about a Boca Asses 2008 tour.

Who needs Masters when we have the Boca Asses Tour '08, eh Utah?

[colemanj]

Columbus had a similar experience in our tour of Italy this past summer -- unbelievable facilities and hospitality plus shock at how Canadians can play soccer (of course we came home undefeated.)

It is definitely a treat to play (and sightsee) in warmer climes... if only they had Saturday Soccer, eh.

[ghouse]

We are only told we are not as good as every where else. Our kids head to europe all the time and do very very well. If our better athletic kids stayed in soccer other than leave for football or hockey we would do just fine.
But how many of you have heard from parents,,Choose one sport over the other as Im not takeing you to both.
Only in North America eh

[Dapotayto]

Originally Posted by Freddy

[size=3] The refs take the field and everyone chants “Punta”

Brilliant

Kind of makes the Canadian "swearing at games" argument seem a little ridiculous.

Btw, Dude, what are we going to call our team?

[Freddy]

Okay - really hammered tronight. We just got back from the rubber matches. We had two games - A-side against their best, and B-side against supposedly their seconds. As the interest (fri ck, I can't tipe) is on the A game, here goes. We really held the pissesion the hole game, but their one chance got a hearder and finished. Fuk. Before the end of the first shor thalf (35 minutes) they got a seond header - teir only two chances, adn argeinitines are not known for their headers.

the second hald it is. We get stuck in even harder. Finally after a lot of south American reffing, johnny get's called down in the box and finishes a PK in fine form. soime time later, we have a mad scramble in the box that goes back and forth with Brian wilms finishing a polishing left footer into the far post for the tie. The game goes on for some time but that is the reuslt.

At the same time, the B team is playing what is suppose to be their weaker squad, but a bunch of them ar ein their 20's. Fukers. We come over ewith two minutes to play with our guys up 1-0. With 2 minutes to go, it is all Argentina. In the final scramble, our import (my Buddy), Birna Petersen from Calgary/Chinnoks/Coquitlam, playing keerp comes up atiha sprwaling game savbing 2 saves that would make any keeper proud. Clearly a bunch of minutes over the game time the ref fvinaaly calls it quits. We win. A triumphant cheer from both teams is heard everywhere. Glorious we all ar, clearly. Into the beautiful change rooms, then to the dining hall. Did I mention in previous posts that we need a facility like this? Fuk me. Out comes the meat (have pictures, but slightly tarred as I ater reverything). They serverd some great sausages, but ten came the mystrymeat. I was sitting beside Dougy Johnston and contreolling the bootle of wine - and I made nice with the Argentine besied me, so I kept throwing the mystery meat to Dougy. Complainig all the wya, he finally ate what looked lke cat shit and apparently teast just like it. I am still laughing. The beer and wine is flowing but Dougy is sawing on nasty pasty cat shit. hahahhaha. I can barely tyep. What a maroon. I would have never ate that. But, then came the amazing pork and beef. I am still laughing at teh littel squidshit on Dougy's plate. Funy stuff. hahahah.

Agsain, heartfealt awards, and lot s of drinks and finalluy back to the hotel.
I know I speeldld like shit, but there you have it.

Westside A 2-2, Westside B 1-0. A great night indded.

Off to the bar.

Freddy

[NobbyStiles]

fuk me, wot a grate post - bets evr!!

sounds like a fun trip.

[colemanj]

Even without mentions of flip flops and Boca A squads, still wishing I was there... even more so tonight -- did it rain enough on everyone? The old Sacred Heart's club (for those who have earned their stripes) was puddle jumping tonight for sure.

BBq'd meat seams to be the same hit everywhere, glad to hear that soccer club hospitality is universal. Hey, and can't us old Canadians play! Good on you boys, I will bet it was a battle right to the end.

[Ballbaby]

Geez, I feel like I am drunker than a skunk after reading Freddy's last post.

Well done you boys! Can't wait for you to come home and experiemce some Canadian hospitality!

[Peter]

Holy Christ Freddy! I plugged your post into the google translator and it came back:

"Played: tied one, won one. Ate, drank and laughed at other's misfortune and possible stupidity...I should be sleeping it off instead of typing."

And then you went to the bar?!!

[Dude]

I want the "after the trip to the bar" post. Now that would be quality!

This, BTW, is a classic thread! I look forward to every drunken update!

[rangerforever]

Originally Posted by Peter

And then you went to the bar?!!

Classic!

What a great thread and jealous,
RF