A Classic TTP Christmas Carol

moneyman · 11-28-2007, 02:07 PM

Twas the night before before Christmas, as I made my
Final TTP posts
Not a creature was stirring, not even Phatanslow
The beers were stacked in the fridge with care
In hopes of Rangerforever soon would be there

The strippers were nestled all snug in there beds
With visions of spending $$$MANS money danced through there heads
And Sir M drinking Cognac and Taxman drinking Guiness on tap
We were reminiscing of all the 2007 TTP crap

When out in my driveway, there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the bar to see what’s the matter
Away to the window, I strained to see
Couldn’t make it to the bathroom so out the window I did pee

The moon on the breast of the peed upon snow
I had written my name two stories below
But, what to my blood shot eyes should appear
A van full of TTP posters drinking Old Style beer

With a little old driver, so lively and quick
Taxman said hey I know that Prick
More belligerent then Coach his curses they came
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now Scottyshell! Now Ballbaby
Now Whistleblower, and Dude
On , Coach ! On Blaze Army!
Hands of Stone why you so rude
To the top of the porch!
He stumbled into every wall
Now fcuk off! Fcuk off!
Fcuk off to all!

As the dry leaves out in the valley they do fly
When you run into a roadblock make sure that you lie!
So out to the Estates of $$$MAN they flew,
A van full of drunks, and Rangerforever too.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
The dancing and singing of some one aloof
As I drew in my head and was turning around
Down the chimney Rangerforever came with a mighty bound.

He was all dressed in fur, from his head to his foot,
He was wearing the Sihks teams tracksuit and taking a toot
A bundle full of empties he had flung on his back,
He looked like a crackhead on East Hastings opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled! His head not so hairy!
His cheeks were like roses, he wished he could play just like Barry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
For he just realized in his drunken stupor he was eating yellow snow!
The stump of a joint he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he ran, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a jolly old elf
I laughed when I saw him , reminded me of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He cleaned out the buffet even the bread

He spoke not a word , but went straight to his work,
And stole the rest of the beers, what a fcuking jerk
And giving me the middle finger from the side of his nose
And giving a nod off the couch when he rose.

He sprang to his van, to his team he gave a whistle
Away from the $$$MAN Estates they drove down thistle.
But I heard him exclaim,’ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and GEU Thunder your all right!”

**rangerforever** · 11-28-2007, 04:02 PM

Magic!
Classic is right...

You forgot about the quick 3-way with two of the strippers though.

Let the 'festivities' begin and cheers for the laugh,
RF

T-Idiot · 11-28-2007, 05:31 PM

hate to say it ..but that could be a Christmas classic

cside17 · 11-28-2007, 09:39 PM

Excellent job, well done. Merry Xmas everyone!

colemanj · 11-28-2007, 11:56 PM

and the Thunder roars! VMSL like really... and timely (excuse the commercial interruption but approx 60 VMSL, FVSL and TTP alumni spanning 30 years will be interested in this), the annual Saturday Soccer Christmas party is 5 PM this Friday night at Cactus Club in Yaletown -- Davie and Hamilton -- pub crawl to follow. Recent history shows us spending a lot of time dancing and playing pool at the Yale. Everyone interested in soccer is welcome, although Hibs fans are discouraged. The alternative is high-test in the cold with Anti-Fan at Ambleside... your pick.

Merry Christmas $$$man, and to all a good night -- this Friday night, that is!

moneyman · 11-29-2007, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colemanj

and the Thunder roars! VMSL like really... and timely (excuse the commercial interruption but approx 60 VMSL, FVSL and TTP alumni spanning 30 years will be interested in this), the annual Saturday Soccer Christmas party is 5 PM this Friday night at Cactus Club in Yaletown -- Davie and Hamilton -- pub crawl to follow. Recent history shows us spending a lot of time dancing and playing pool at the Yale. Everyone interested in soccer is welcome, although Hibs fans are discouraged. The alternative is high-test in the cold with Anti-Fan at Ambleside... your pick.

Merry Christmas $$, and to all a good night -- this Friday night, that is!

Love to be there but unfortunately can't make it. Merry Christmas to all !!!

$$$MAN

bulljive · 11-29-2007, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cside17

Excellent job, well done. Merry Xmas everyone!

merry christmas...you could get thrown in jail with that kind of talk.....happy holidays

girth · 11-29-2007, 03:20 PM

Yes a classic indeed! It's nice to come on here and laugh! well done!

11-28-2007, 02:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
moneyman Member Joined: Mar 2007 Location: maple ridge Posts: 232 TTP Friends: (1)	A Classic TTP Christmas Carol Twas the night before before Christmas, as I made my Final TTP posts Not a creature was stirring, not even Phatanslow The beers were stacked in the fridge with care In hopes of Rangerforever soon would be there The strippers were nestled all snug in there beds With visions of spending $$$MANS money danced through there heads And Sir M drinking Cognac and Taxman drinking Guiness on tap We were reminiscing of all the 2007 TTP crap When out in my driveway, there arose such a clatter I sprang from the bar to see what’s the matter Away to the window, I strained to see Couldn’t make it to the bathroom so out the window I did pee The moon on the breast of the peed upon snow I had written my name two stories below But, what to my blood shot eyes should appear A van full of TTP posters drinking Old Style beer With a little old driver, so lively and quick Taxman said hey I know that Prick More belligerent then Coach his curses they came As he whistled and shouted and called them by name: Now Scottyshell! Now Ballbaby Now Whistleblower, and Dude On , Coach ! On Blaze Army! Hands of Stone why you so rude To the top of the porch! He stumbled into every wall Now fcuk off! Fcuk off! Fcuk off to all! As the dry leaves out in the valley they do fly When you run into a roadblock make sure that you lie! So out to the Estates of $$$MAN they flew, A van full of drunks, and Rangerforever too. And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof The dancing and singing of some one aloof As I drew in my head and was turning around Down the chimney Rangerforever came with a mighty bound. He was all dressed in fur, from his head to his foot, He was wearing the Sihks teams tracksuit and taking a toot A bundle full of empties he had flung on his back, He looked like a crackhead on East Hastings opening his pack. His eyes how they twinkled! His head not so hairy! His cheeks were like roses, he wished he could play just like Barry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow For he just realized in his drunken stupor he was eating yellow snow! The stump of a joint he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he ran, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a jolly old elf I laughed when I saw him , reminded me of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head He cleaned out the buffet even the bread He spoke not a word , but went straight to his work, And stole the rest of the beers, what a fcuking jerk And giving me the middle finger from the side of his nose And giving a nod off the couch when he rose. He sprang to his van, to his team he gave a whistle Away from the $$$MAN Estates they drove down thistle. But I heard him exclaim,’ere he drove out of sight, “Happy Christmas to all, and GEU Thunder your all right!”

11-28-2007, 04:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
rangerforever Fat Bastard A Better Bastard Joined: Sep 2001 Location: Govan Posts: 3,959 Images: 3 TTP Friends: (9)	Re: A Classic TTP Christmas Carol Magic! Classic is right... You forgot about the quick 3-way with two of the strippers though. Let the 'festivities' begin and cheers for the laugh, RF __________________ Acumfegovan

11-28-2007, 05:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
T-Idiot Member Joined: Sep 2004 Location: Richmond Posts: 305 TTP Friends: (1)	Re: A Classic TTP Christmas Carol hate to say it ..but that could be a Christmas classic

11-28-2007, 09:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
cside17 Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: Uphere, where I never get a minute, and the hours seem like days! Posts: 602 Images: 15 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: A Classic TTP Christmas Carol Excellent job, well done. Merry Xmas everyone!

11-28-2007, 11:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
colemanj Member Joined: Oct 2003 Location: Summerland Posts: 295 TTP Friends: (1)	Re: A Classic TTP Christmas Carol and the Thunder roars! VMSL like really... and timely (excuse the commercial interruption but approx 60 VMSL, FVSL and TTP alumni spanning 30 years will be interested in this), the annual Saturday Soccer Christmas party is 5 PM this Friday night at Cactus Club in Yaletown -- Davie and Hamilton -- pub crawl to follow. Recent history shows us spending a lot of time dancing and playing pool at the Yale. Everyone interested in soccer is welcome, although Hibs fans are discouraged. The alternative is high-test in the cold with Anti-Fan at Ambleside... your pick. Merry Christmas $$$man, and to all a good night -- this Friday night, that is!

11-29-2007, 03:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
girth Member Joined: Nov 2001 Location: In the 18 Posts: 1,541 TTP Friends: (2)	Re: A Classic TTP Christmas Carol Yes a classic indeed! It's nice to come on here and laugh! well done!

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