The Story Of Strangerville

[Ballbaby]

An interesting tale is circulating in the Valley of the Mighty Fraser and Dressing Room 1 at Newton Athletic Park. An anonymous author is responsible for this tale but obviously one who has deep insight into the life of some of the citizens who live in Strangerville.

My feelings is this may be a story that never ends. It goes on and on my friends.

Strangerville


The setting is the town of Strangerville. This middle class town is a suburb of Winnerville. Its history has been one of moderate successes, each never completely enjoyed because they never quite measure up to the successes of Winnerville. This perennial bridesmaid status has been identified by the residents of Winnerville (they jokingly call Strangerville – Loserville. Residents of Strangerville are easily identified: they walk around with a false sense of bravado – one that is easily shattered when you mention you are from Winnerville or ask the Strangervillians what they’ve done lately.

The main characters

The main characters are Mayor and Reverend. This duo is often compared to George Costanzo and Jerry Seinfeld.

Mayor is the mayor of Strangerville and Strangerville means everything to him. He spends his entire day thinking of ways to encourage the residents of Strangerville and discourage and denigrate anyone who isn’t a resident of Strangerville.

Mayor is the kind of person who speaks before he thinks and is constantly trying to bail himself out. He does this by constantly reminding people that he was only kidding and that if these people don’t understand where he’s coming from, then the problem is their’s not his.

Physically the Mayor is a scrawny fellow who has a bit of a bounce to his step. If you were watching the crest of a hill you would see a piece of Mayor’s head, and then it would disappear, then you’d see a little more of his head and then it would disappear…you get the picture. He likes to wear odd outfits, occasionally when you see him, you recall seeing his look on a Soviet trainer in the 72 Olympics.

Reverend is a born again Church of Scotland ordained minister. Prior to this conversion he was a Catholic missionary. Because of his charisma the Reverend’s congregation is the one and only church in Strangerville. Weekly the Mayor will address Reverend’s congregation. (The Mayor feels that if he hangs out with Reverend maybe some of his charisma and smarts will rub off on him). His message is usually straightforward –we’re not losers (the Mayor also believes that if he repeats this enough times then maybe it will come true). The Reverend is a large rotund bald man. He looks much older than he actually is. He’s often seen riding about in a wheel chair (the Mayor is always pushing the wheel chair) with a variety of ailments. Those who know Reverand, secretly think he’s a hypochondriac who’s let his body go to make it easier to get sick.

Reverend likes to go on attack – often with misinformation. He then defends himself by using anecdotes and analogies. He likes to name drop and tell people “what a great guy” they are. Those in the know see through this charade. Reverend is only interested in furthering his own cause and that of Strangerville.



Unfortunately for Mayor and Reverend there are some nasty bullies hanging around Strangerville. They are:

Babyface – a sharp witted toughy who likes to poke and prod at Mayor and Reverend’s weaknesses. Also know for terrorizing other inhabitants of Strangerville.

Dregs – the evil Master who spurned Mayor and Reverend’s approaches to reside in Strangerville. Number 1 public enemy on Mayor’s hit list.

Bully – a master wit, nothing sticks on his Teflon coat. Master and Reverend spend hours trying to figure out how to hurt Bully.

Luckily for Mayor and Reverend, after a heavy recruiting program and problems elsewhere – six super heroes have moved into Strangerville. Called the “SuperSix” by Mayor they are:

Silky – a mouthy little hero who talks his way out of trouble
Hooey – known for his ability to fly through the air Hooey likes to hit villains and bullies from behind
HandyAndy – also has the ability to fly. Is very vulnerable to a swing of a leg encrusted with Kriptonite
ZatMan – balding superhero is often unavailable due to injury. Met Reverend through a shared Doctor.
Flaily - Prefers to use his brawn to solve his problems. Often in jail.
Mighty Mac – a hulking man child, some say lacks the intestinal fortitude to be a real superhero. Often found hanging around tanning salons.

Some potential story lines

Superhero wannabe Klassman challenges Babyface to a footrace. The Mayor cheats by spilling mustard on Babyface’s lane. Babyface falls and hurts either, his hip flexor, knee, back, ankle or hair. Reverend acts peacemaker by offering Babyface his used walker.

At the Mayor’s annual clambake, Dregs deliberately burns Reverend’s hotdog buns. After a nasty confrontation with the SuperSix all is saved when Silky produces a fresh dozen buns from his gym bag and throws in the six-pack of Timbits he was saving for himself.

Mighty Mac’s tanning salon goes on fire. Due to a major fire on the other side of Strangerville, the fire department from nearby Deltaville respond. The two balding firemen from Deltaville who respond have been drinking, particularly the older one with a Scottish brogue and a Winnerville hoody, and are unable to put the fire out. Mighty Mac emerges from the bodywaxing salon in the next strip mall and after seeing the carnage at the tanning salon begins to cry. The older Deltaville fireman writes in his report that when the crying man dropped his towel he had no pubic hair.

[Ballbaby]

Just so these guys don't kick me too hard next game, I am merely the messenger of this finely written tale. I must admit, it has raised the bar of pisstaking, and maybe we could add more charcters to Strangerville. Have at her.


Quite the aura around that squad.

[Aves]

Wandering vagabond italangelo sneaks past the sentries guarding Strangerville to publicly call out the mayor for a duel at dawn...weapons? mayor's choice - soccer balls at 12 paces...loser to pick' em out of any open orifice; italangelo's choice - armor piercing geegers that will most definitely leave a mark on the Mayor's newest shirt.

Reverend leaps in front of the first deadly geeger and gets confined to his wheelchair, unable to fetch his own pints.
Mayor goes shopping for a new shirt anyways.
Italangelo lurks outside of Strangerville walls...waiting...



looking forward to the re-match boys (in Deltaville)

[Regs]

That's some extremely funny stuff

Further Storyline Development

But where do the inhabitants of Pegopolis from the north fit into this fabled story? Or is that something the Mayor likes to look the other way upon as it is the dealings of Strangerville's underworld crimeboss, the true power broker pulling the strings in the suburb of Winnerville?

Maybe a whole new chapter of The Story Of Strangerville could pop up.

The Ruins of Troy.