Mythical Match-Ups Weigh-ins

Jinky · 04-13-2002, 04:44 PM

Use this thread to match up any two people, no matter what their weights are. By use of a poll [that will hopefully be set-up by a moderator or Premium Member], piss-takers can determine the victor.

An explanation for one's choice would be appreciated.

CDK · 04-16-2002, 10:31 PM

Don Jinky King,

I would like to be matched up against somebody in a mythical match-up. I can't be matched up against just anybody ofcourse, for I am educated in the art of pugilism. Uhm scratch that....I AM THE GREATEST!

No, I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest! Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am. I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my bedroom and was in bed before the room was dark. I "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

So, who would you recomend I be matched up against?

KNVB? Nah, he is so ugly he should donate his face to the Bulgarian Bureau of Wild Life.

Jimmy Holiday? I know what you're thinking, he even dreams of beating me he'd better wake up and apologize.

Sensei Hanson? they couldn't find a mouthpiece big enough.

Give me a contender and not a pretender. I'm a Champ and I don't want to fight some Bum.

Sweet as sugar, fine as wine
CDK

Jinky · 04-16-2002, 11:07 PM

You got it.

sensei_hanson · 04-17-2002, 02:34 PM

They call me Kid NyQuil. I put heads to bed.

You've got a better chance of seeing God than you do in the ring against me. Once you're done with Twinkle Toes Sulentic, tell Rock Mannion to talk to my people.

Here is some pre-fight smack for ya:

"CDK is so fat his blood type is Ragu. I'll beat him so bad, he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on."

"CDK too ugly to fight me. He the beast, I'm the beauty. I'll make it my civic duty to kick that booty. I'm a mean man. I'm so mean I make medecine sick."

CDK · 04-17-2002, 03:07 PM

So little Sensei Hanson wants a piece of the Sexy One, eh? I think I'll give everybody a present and drop this chump.

You're gonna feel pain boy. Pain in spots you thought you never thought you had! I'm gonna hit you so hard the RCMP will stop you for speeding in Kamloops. I'm gonna knock you out so bad your clothes will be out of style when you wake up.

sensei_hanson · 04-17-2002, 03:28 PM

Oh good, Christmas came early. I'll ruin my surprise and let you know I got you a facefull of canvas this year. Mixed in with a pint of your own blood and a bag of your teeth, it'll be a festive season nobody (in your family) will soon forget. Hopefully the nurses will let someone decorate the ICU for you.

PS - I already provided the Sun and Province an obituary for a "CDK". They refused to run the one for "Comatose Bag of Mucus". You owe me 35 bucks.

Jimmy Holiday · 04-18-2002, 01:30 PM

Capi Di Katz

There is one man that strikes fear in you and that's Big Bobby T,he's back and ready for a challenge.

And to all the 4 pukie Unicorns,be afraid,be very afraid!He wants all you punks in the ring at the same time for a handicap match!

BIG BOBBY T IS BACK

**Regs** · 04-18-2002, 01:42 PM

Please ask him to leave his baseball bat at home this time

~TB.

**knvb** · 04-19-2002, 12:00 PM

HOS is done. I'm eating more than ever to move up a weight class. When I get there I want Rangerforever! If I'm going to fight a heavy weight lets make it the HEAVIEST weight of all.

Fcuking guy gives away my valley rights for nothing!? He shall pay!

KickingRangersassforever, The Dutch Destroyer.

**Hands of Stone** · 04-22-2002, 07:56 PM

knvb, you have to bulk up a lot to get into my weight class.

HOShasForemansGrill

Jinky · 04-23-2002, 07:29 PM

Announcing,

The first TTP Ring-King Championship.

Within the next week or so, we will have amassed 16 winners in various competitions. These 16 will be matched to fight eventually leaving 8, then 4, then 2, then 1. This is why it is important for all participants not to look past their current match to a future bout.

Five more match-ups are required. TTPers may either PM fighter suggestions to me or post them here.

TIA

CDK · 04-24-2002, 12:54 AM

Irish Stephen Burns vs. Sexual Coco

Fastshow's Peg Oly's vs. Dazza's 'Rear Action' Meralomas

A Killer Whale vs. A Great White Shark

Ghostrider vs. Jonsey

Regs vs. Gregor

WAB & Reccos vs. A 12yr old Girl

Celtic vs. The Taliban

That's all I can think of for now...

Fastshow · 04-24-2002, 12:57 AM

Jinks,

How about I.D.G.A.F. BABY! against Bizarro I.D.G.A.F. BABY! and a gay farmer doing deep knee bends in a cucumber patch (copyright Buckfast, 2002)?

Or not. It's your party. I'm still waiting to hear whether you think I should get a dog to carry or not.

SC · 04-24-2002, 08:25 AM

Capt'n Crunch losing

to a girl?

You might just have to call him The Irish Breeze , because a breeze is what Sexualchocolate will be feeling as el Capitano passes by on his way to the canvas

**knvb** · 04-24-2002, 09:51 AM

Screw you Captain vs. Captain Shamrock.
Regs vs. I-tie thread
Notty vs. WAB
SC vs. Jimmy Holiday
Smiles vs. Metro Ford
Reccos vs. Dude where's my corner

**rangerforever** · 04-24-2002, 05:30 PM

I swear to God, I truly don't know what life was like before TTP.

You lot make me laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh....
Fcuking piss-taking man.

Jinky: until you posted the link on the "Silence" thread, I had no idea any of this existed until today.
KNVB's profile didn't even register.
Sorry for being such a rookie-greenhorn.
Too fcuking funny.

In that.....

Leeeeeeettttt's Get Ready to Ruuuuuummmmble!!!!!

In this corner:
Weighing in at a paltry 135, he's the Vank of the VMSL, the Metro League Matchstick (note the phosphorous red top), The Squarehead less the grey matter, He's: KNVB....

Cue The Proclaimers "500 miles" (Who to everyone's delight are not KNVB times two)

In this corner:
Weighing in at, well you know, he's 240 Gordy, The Man of Spam, He's the Pride of Ibrox, He's:RRRRRangerFooooorever!!!!!

Nae fcuking bother, nae fcuking chance.

CDK · 04-24-2002, 05:50 PM

Get Sensei "house boy" Hanson into a match with someone. If the 'trollop' wants a peice of me he has to prove that he can beat someone first. I suggest you put him up against a little know fighter with little stamina and glass jaw. Just to see how he does.

Jinky · 04-24-2002, 05:59 PM

No shite Sherlock,

that's pretty much the plan.

Buckfast · 04-24-2002, 06:13 PM

Based on CDK's request, let's have the:

Battle of Vebal Diarrhea

or

Handbags at the Law Firm

Fastshow v Sensei????

sensei_hanson · 04-24-2002, 10:39 PM

Seedy McNeely,

This is a classic example of a poor, fat, unattractive fighter dodging the bout that will place him in Zagreb's finest physical rehabilitation clinic. While I understand you don't fancy the idea of having some male nurse re-teach you how to tie your shoes, delaying this fight will only break down your fragile psyche even more. And given the number of bones I plan to break, you really should keep that psyche in tip top shape. For the rehab, you see.

Sadly, I do realize that there is a process that even I must go through. Thus, I will do my best to make quick work of my warmup opponent. His identity has not yet been revealed by Rock Mannion.

So suck down another protein shake, begin the long waddle up to the fantasy ring, and prepare to live the rest of your life wearing a hockey helmet.

-Sensei.

04-13-2002, 04:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jinky Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: locally Posts: 2,993 Images: 28 TTP Friends: (0)	Mythical Match-Ups Weigh-ins Use this thread to match up any two people, no matter what their weights are. By use of a poll [that will hopefully be set-up by a moderator or Premium Member], piss-takers can determine the victor. An explanation for one's choice would be appreciated. Last edited by Regs; 04-14-2002 at 10:11 AM.

04-18-2002, 01:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jimmy Holiday Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: Newlands Golf and Country Posts: 875 TTP Friends: (0)	Forget Sensei Capi Di Katz There is one man that strikes fear in you and that's Big Bobby T,he's back and ready for a challenge. And to all the 4 pukie Unicorns,be afraid,be very afraid!He wants all you punks in the ring at the same time for a handicap match! BIG BOBBY T IS BACK

04-18-2002, 01:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
Regs Respect & Honour A Total Bastard Joined: Jun 2001 Location: TTP Headquarters Posts: 12,045 Blog Entries: 1 Images: 233 TTP Friends: (12)	Please ask him to leave his baseball bat at home this time ~TB. __________________ Take the piss (out of someone) vb. British -- to mock, deride, poke fun (at). This vulgarism has been in widespread use since the late 1940s. The original idea evoked by the expression was that of deflating someone, recalling the description of a self-important blusterer as 'all piss and wind.'

04-22-2002, 07:56 PM	#10 (permalink)
Hands of Stone Premium Member A Better Bastard Joined: Jul 2001 Location: The NAP, Home of the Mighty Rangers Posts: 4,442 Images: 7 TTP Friends: (6)	Fatest Skinny Guy in the League knvb, you have to bulk up a lot to get into my weight class. HOShasForemansGrill

04-24-2002, 12:57 AM	#13 (permalink)
Fastshow Member Joined: Jun 2001 Posts: 2,305 Images: 111 TTP Friends: (0)	prize twat.... Jinks, How about I.D.G.A.F. BABY! against Bizarro I.D.G.A.F. BABY! and a gay farmer doing deep knee bends in a cucumber patch (copyright Buckfast, 2002)? Or not. It's your party. I'm still waiting to hear whether you think I should get a dog to carry or not.

04-16-2002, 10:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
CDK Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: =G= Posts: 1,600 Images: 4 TTP Friends: (0)	Don Jinky King, I would like to be matched up against somebody in a mythical match-up. I can't be matched up against just anybody ofcourse, for I am educated in the art of pugilism. Uhm scratch that....I AM THE GREATEST! No, I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest! Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am. I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my bedroom and was in bed before the room was dark. I "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." So, who would you recomend I be matched up against? KNVB? Nah, he is so ugly he should donate his face to the Bulgarian Bureau of Wild Life. Jimmy Holiday? I know what you're thinking, he even dreams of beating me he'd better wake up and apologize. Sensei Hanson? they couldn't find a mouthpiece big enough. Give me a contender and not a pretender. I'm a Champ and I don't want to fight some Bum. Sweet as sugar, fine as wine CDK

04-16-2002, 11:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Jinky Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: locally Posts: 2,993 Images: 28 TTP Friends: (0)	You got it.

04-17-2002, 02:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
sensei_hanson Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: The China Club Posts: 1,547 Images: 31 TTP Friends: (0)	They call me Kid NyQuil. I put heads to bed. You've got a better chance of seeing God than you do in the ring against me. Once you're done with Twinkle Toes Sulentic, tell Rock Mannion to talk to my people. Here is some pre-fight smack for ya: "CDK is so fat his blood type is Ragu. I'll beat him so bad, he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on." "CDK too ugly to fight me. He the beast, I'm the beauty. I'll make it my civic duty to kick that booty. I'm a mean man. I'm so mean I make medecine sick."

04-17-2002, 03:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
CDK Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: =G= Posts: 1,600 Images: 4 TTP Friends: (0)	So little Sensei Hanson wants a piece of the Sexy One, eh? I think I'll give everybody a present and drop this chump. You're gonna feel pain boy. Pain in spots you thought you never thought you had! I'm gonna hit you so hard the RCMP will stop you for speeding in Kamloops. I'm gonna knock you out so bad your clothes will be out of style when you wake up.

04-17-2002, 03:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
sensei_hanson Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: The China Club Posts: 1,547 Images: 31 TTP Friends: (0)	Oh good, Christmas came early. I'll ruin my surprise and let you know I got you a facefull of canvas this year. Mixed in with a pint of your own blood and a bag of your teeth, it'll be a festive season nobody (in your family) will soon forget. Hopefully the nurses will let someone decorate the ICU for you. PS - I already provided the Sun and Province an obituary for a "CDK". They refused to run the one for "Comatose Bag of Mucus". You owe me 35 bucks.

04-19-2002, 12:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
knvb Kick'n it old school... A Total Bastard Joined: Aug 2001 Location: Langley Posts: 10,572 Images: 229 TTP Friends: (6)	HOS is done. I'm eating more than ever to move up a weight class. When I get there I want Rangerforever! If I'm going to fight a heavy weight lets make it the HEAVIEST weight of all. Fcuking guy gives away my valley rights for nothing!? He shall pay! KickingRangersassforever, The Dutch Destroyer.

04-23-2002, 07:29 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jinky Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: locally Posts: 2,993 Images: 28 TTP Friends: (0)	Announcing, The first TTP Ring-King Championship. Within the next week or so, we will have amassed 16 winners in various competitions. These 16 will be matched to fight eventually leaving 8, then 4, then 2, then 1. This is why it is important for all participants not to look past their current match to a future bout. Five more match-ups are required. TTPers may either PM fighter suggestions to me or post them here. TIA

04-24-2002, 12:54 AM	#12 (permalink)
CDK Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: =G= Posts: 1,600 Images: 4 TTP Friends: (0)	Irish Stephen Burns vs. Sexual Coco Fastshow's Peg Oly's vs. Dazza's 'Rear Action' Meralomas A Killer Whale vs. A Great White Shark Ghostrider vs. Jonsey Regs vs. Gregor WAB & Reccos vs. A 12yr old Girl Celtic vs. The Taliban That's all I can think of for now...

04-24-2002, 08:25 AM	#14 (permalink)
SC Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: On the fence. Posts: 3,009 Images: 121 TTP Friends: (2)	CDK could you imagine? Capt'n Crunch losing to a girl? You might just have to call him The Irish Breeze , because a breeze is what Sexualchocolate will be feeling as el Capitano passes by on his way to the canvas

04-24-2002, 09:51 AM	#15 (permalink)
knvb Kick'n it old school... A Total Bastard Joined: Aug 2001 Location: Langley Posts: 10,572 Images: 229 TTP Friends: (6)	Screw you Captain vs. Captain Shamrock. Regs vs. I-tie thread Notty vs. WAB SC vs. Jimmy Holiday Smiles vs. Metro Ford Reccos vs. Dude where's my corner

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04-24-2002, 05:30 PM	#16 (permalink)
rangerforever Fat Bastard A Better Bastard Joined: Sep 2001 Location: Govan Posts: 3,952 Images: 3 TTP Friends: (6)	I swear to God, I truly don't know what life was like before TTP. You lot make me laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh.... Fcuking piss-taking man. Jinky: until you posted the link on the "Silence" thread, I had no idea any of this existed until today. KNVB's profile didn't even register. Sorry for being such a rookie-greenhorn. Too fcuking funny. In that..... Leeeeeeettttt's Get Ready to Ruuuuuummmmble!!!!! In this corner: Weighing in at a paltry 135, he's the Vank of the VMSL, the Metro League Matchstick (note the phosphorous red top), The Squarehead less the grey matter, He's: KNVB.... Cue The Proclaimers "500 miles" (Who to everyone's delight are not KNVB times two) In this corner: Weighing in at, well you know, he's 240 Gordy, The Man of Spam, He's the Pride of Ibrox, He's:RRRRRangerFooooorever!!!!! Nae fcuking bother, nae fcuking chance. __________________ Acumfegovan

04-24-2002, 05:50 PM	#17 (permalink)
CDK Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: =G= Posts: 1,600 Images: 4 TTP Friends: (0)	Get Sensei "house boy" Hanson into a match with someone. If the 'trollop' wants a peice of me he has to prove that he can beat someone first. I suggest you put him up against a little know fighter with little stamina and glass jaw. Just to see how he does.

04-24-2002, 05:59 PM	#18 (permalink)
Jinky Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: locally Posts: 2,993 Images: 28 TTP Friends: (0)	No shite Sherlock, that's pretty much the plan.

04-24-2002, 06:13 PM	#19 (permalink)
Buckfast Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: YVR du Sudouest Posts: 1,786 TTP Friends: (0)	Pride Parade Based on CDK's request, let's have the: Battle of Vebal Diarrhea or Handbags at the Law Firm Fastshow v Sensei????

04-24-2002, 10:39 PM	#20 (permalink)
sensei_hanson Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: The China Club Posts: 1,547 Images: 31 TTP Friends: (0)	Seedy McNeely, This is a classic example of a poor, fat, unattractive fighter dodging the bout that will place him in Zagreb's finest physical rehabilitation clinic. While I understand you don't fancy the idea of having some male nurse re-teach you how to tie your shoes, delaying this fight will only break down your fragile psyche even more. And given the number of bones I plan to break, you really should keep that psyche in tip top shape. For the rehab, you see. Sadly, I do realize that there is a process that even I must go through. Thus, I will do my best to make quick work of my warmup opponent. His identity has not yet been revealed by Rock Mannion. So suck down another protein shake, begin the long waddle up to the fantasy ring, and prepare to live the rest of your life wearing a hockey helmet. -Sensei.