Mythical Match Up - Cainy vs. Star P.I.M.P

**knvb** · 10-03-2003, 09:46 AM

Mythical match ups: If these two competitors were to meet in the squared circle and their taking the piss skills were substituted for actual fighting skills who would win? How would it happen?

Our first two combatants.

In the Red corner.....BC Special Olympic Berry Picking Champion, wearing the blue Fubu tank top, complete with Adidas head band, oversized gold chain with the dollar sign medallion, and baggy designer jeans, weighing in at 128 and a half pounds. It looks like our challenger has just come from another brawl, because he has a small band-aid under his eye. Look out for the arsenal of Moma jokes and hip hop dance moves. Proceeds from this event go to the Scott Road Literacy Foundation- Pimpin’ ain’t easy…

STARRRRRRRRR PIMP!

And in the blue corner we have weighing in at a buck 32 wearing a blue and black singlet... an x- BC Wrestl'n champion turn all star coach, egg toss and sack race blue ribbon winner. He brings to the ring, a tell it like he see's it, no chance of being wrong style He is also the leader of the PAU Nation... Please give a big round of applause and welcome to...

CCCCCAAAAAIIIINNNNNYYYYYYY.

TOFFEE · 10-03-2003, 10:16 AM

I Think Cainy would win becuase 1: he has a little touch of small man syndrome, 2: is a ginger ming, and 3: everyone would eventually get sick of reading his long piss takes that go over everthing he thinks is shyte about the person he is up against....wow i almost sounded like cainy there...go champ go

P.S. KNVB IS A CNUT

**Regs** · 10-03-2003, 10:30 AM

Cainy will win this one, no doubt.

Star PIMP has absolutely no back up here in the TTP squared circle whereas Cainy has a plethora of PAU "Noonies" that will step in at the first drop of a fedora.

In the remote chance that there is a corrupt decision, Cainy will appeal on the grounds of something totally irrevalent to the match, blaming the VMSL and Surrey United or phantom "hoes", resulting in Regs using his god-like powers to overturn the result and awarding the FA Cup facsimile trophy (AKA the covetted Regs Head Mold) to Cainy.

The Cup will then be renamed the Ginger Nobody Cup where challengers Dickens Cider, Red Dragon and Ginger Tours will attempt to beat the crap outta Cainy for weeks to come.

Can't wait.

~Regs.

Guinness · 10-03-2003, 11:48 AM

I'd have to say wee cainy in a landslide... G.I.M.P. has nae chance of winning a fight with a wet paper bag (although it outweighs cainy) let a lone a Mystical match up with the singlette strutting Cloverdale boy!!! A quick bite on the ankle followed by an uppercut to the schnuts, finishing with an eye poke and the Gimpy one is out like a light... Nighty night buudy...

So fcuking Easy, like Regs missus...

Guinness

BTW, Regs has Cainy slept with your mum or something??? What's with you big hard on for the PAU Nation's token red headed stepchild Cainy???

Jinky · 10-03-2003, 01:36 PM

Fcuking hell Beaker, you are a cnut.

I was planning to resurrect the Mythical (not mystical) Match-Ups to address a number of new disputes and I dearly wish I hadn't been my usual procrastinating self.

What kind of a match-maker are you supposed to be?

No one wants to see Cainy versus Star Pimp ya tube. That's a total blow-out.
If Cainy is going to dust off his fight-tights for anyone it should be for TotalBastard. And it will. Very fcuking soon. I'll also find a more suitable opponent for the 50 cent gimp.

Futhermore, what's all this about?

Quote:

Mythical match ups: If these two competitors were to meet in the squared circle and their taking the piss skills were substituted for actual fighting skills who would win? How would it happen?

There are no substitutions. Fighting skills should very much be taken into consideration. Cnut.

ps Spelling skills are unimportant. Scathing whit, Katerina Witt, Ernie Witt,...who cares?

**knvb** · 10-03-2003, 01:43 PM

Go on then.

Jinky · 10-03-2003, 01:46 PM

Oh well, it looks as though I can't play matchmaker afterall.

I'll get my coat.

Gurps · 10-03-2003, 02:02 PM

Trust me, I have seen Star Chimp, this guy has enough trouble washing orange pop from his face, let alone fighting a FVSL'er.

**rangerforever** · 10-03-2003, 02:17 PM

Cainy with the "Half Pretzel".
Done.
No need to even go to the "Full Pretzel".

Star Gimp is just no Ivan The Terrible unfortunately.

He'd do Billy Connelly proud in the "wit" department as well as the wrestling ring.

Mikey Cain in the wrestling ring..
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

TOFFEE · 10-03-2003, 02:32 PM

Please note that cainy is a scouser, so while this P.I.M.P VS The John face off is going on, Guinness( cause scott's are always in for a bit of a dirty) and the PAU lads will be swagging stuff for P.I.M.P's car or house like a local hood would do if a truck stopped at a light in the middle of the liverpool.

But cainy to win by a red hair!

Stepchild · 10-03-2003, 03:09 PM

Guinness

Quote:

red headed stepchild Cainy

There is only one stepchild. First Pilsner, now passing off my well deserved name. Perhaps a pre-title fight b/t you and I

As for star chimp, come on! Redhead all the way

**Hands of Stone** · 10-03-2003, 03:14 PM

Have to say that the 50 Cent song P.I.M.P. is catchy, and all the Pimps out there keep all us guys supplied with HO's, so I am going with Star Pimp.
I am sure that Cainy will get distracted by the HO Train and Star Pimp will catch him with a cheap shot to the groin. Game over, bring in the HO Train to celebrate.

Hello Ladies,

Val

Big T · 10-03-2003, 03:39 PM

Hey knvb,

could you like do a Beaker's Pit with the wrestlers a week before....I wanna see Cainy and Nation of Domination, i mean PAU nation

....tell off the pimp and then listen to pimp's retort - "Cainy u jus suck, PAU sucks, u know da pimp 2 good at takin beats, i gets beats up all the time and i been shot 10 times"

I totally see this match going to Cainy after the nation of domination roughs up pimp while the ref is distracted.

**Captain Shamrock** · 10-03-2003, 04:39 PM

KNVB has just hit rock bottom and is still digging. Ouch.

**knvb** · 10-03-2003, 04:43 PM

I'm sorry is this your hole? Has been.

ParkHead · 10-03-2003, 04:46 PM

Personally that should just be the warm-up fight for the main event Step-child vs Guinness. Let the Red headed Ranger at the wee Hun Guinness.

Parkhead

**knvb** · 10-03-2003, 04:59 PM

Simply an under card event.

Knees United · 10-03-2003, 05:31 PM

Why oh why do I get involved??????

Can't sat I know the G.I.M.P but I know Cainy......and the only one that can bet Cainy is himself; for example.....

1) Preparation Time:

If you don't give Cainy enough time to "powder his nose" he's liable to miss the match all together. If the twat needs 2 hrs to get ready for a soccer match, how much time does he need for this?

Note to Cainy....Eyes will burn from the mixer of Sweat & Sun-In....wear goggles.

2) Dress Code:

If Cainy is "forced" to wear his yellow singlet he's liable to distract himself with his self proclaimed "deadsexy" body.

Hey Cainy, hands off the "length" fella!!! It'll be there when you get home!!

3) Mock 3 shortage:

What if prior to the match Cainy realizes he has no razor, and good buddy Jefferies', isn't packin' either!! Can't fight without a freshly shaven chest you know!!!!

***************Forest GIMP, by default*****************

Gurps · 10-03-2003, 05:47 PM

A sure way of ensuring that Cainy wins would be to inform the Surrey RCMP of a "overloaded van of berry pickers" coming into town. That would be Star Chimps only mode of transportation out of the boonies into town, as tractors are not allowed on the freeway, and there is no way he has his drivers licence, as you need to be able to at least read english to get a drivers license....although I do live in Richmond and that point could easily be contested

cainy · 10-03-2003, 09:14 PM

I would lance STAR PIMPLE.

I have some experience with the brown folk. This is a true story if I've ever told one. I wrestled in the NORKAM invitational in Kamloops one time. Our team arrives, and we check out the draws. First up for me was a lad from Kamloops named Ballrash sp ( Balraj) sidhu. Of course all the lads are having a laff cause I gotta fight some dude named Ballrash, anyways long story short. The match starts and I get him down, decide to try a gut wrench manoeuver, synch up around his waist,just as I am turning him over he shits himself right there on the mat. No fcukin joke, when I wrenched his guts I heard like this really wet fart go. Of course Ballrash says in a really painful voice. " i think i shit myself" I'm like fcuk off you did, and he's like "no really I think I shit myself. I pinned Balrash so fast after that, the fat lady hadn't even cleared her throat. I'm not sure it was my superior wrestling skill or Ballrash, just wanted to get out of there so he could go wipe his ass.

Star PIMP you ain't got shit on me

View Poll Results: Who win would this fight of TTP witt?
Star 'I'm not a hater' P.I.M.P	3	9.09%
Cainy	26	78.79%
No Decision	4	12.12%
Voters: 33. You may not vote on this poll

10-03-2003, 09:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
knvb Kick'n it old school... A Total Bastard Joined: Aug 2001 Location: Langley Posts: 10,572 Images: 229 TTP Friends: (6)	Mythical Match Up - Cainy vs. Star P.I.M.P Mythical match ups: If these two competitors were to meet in the squared circle and their taking the piss skills were substituted for actual fighting skills who would win? How would it happen? Our first two combatants. In the Red corner.....BC Special Olympic Berry Picking Champion, wearing the blue Fubu tank top, complete with Adidas head band, oversized gold chain with the dollar sign medallion, and baggy designer jeans, weighing in at 128 and a half pounds. It looks like our challenger has just come from another brawl, because he has a small band-aid under his eye. Look out for the arsenal of Moma jokes and hip hop dance moves. Proceeds from this event go to the Scott Road Literacy Foundation- Pimpin’ ain’t easy… STARRRRRRRRR PIMP! And in the blue corner we have weighing in at a buck 32 wearing a blue and black singlet... an x- BC Wrestl'n champion turn all star coach, egg toss and sack race blue ribbon winner. He brings to the ring, a tell it like he see's it, no chance of being wrong style He is also the leader of the PAU Nation... Please give a big round of applause and welcome to... CCCCCAAAAAIIIINNNNNYYYYYYY.

10-03-2003, 10:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
TOFFEE Member Joined: Sep 2003 Location: NORTH INDIA Posts: 22 Images: 2 TTP Friends: (0)	I Think Cainy would win becuase 1: he has a little touch of small man syndrome, 2: is a ginger ming, and 3: everyone would eventually get sick of reading his long piss takes that go over everthing he thinks is shyte about the person he is up against....wow i almost sounded like cainy there...go champ go P.S. KNVB IS A CNUT __________________ KOPPITES ARE GOB SHITES, EFC FOREVER

10-03-2003, 10:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
Regs Respect & Honour A Total Bastard Joined: Jun 2001 Location: TTP Headquarters Posts: 12,045 Blog Entries: 1 Images: 233 TTP Friends: (12)	Cainy will win this one, no doubt. Star PIMP has absolutely no back up here in the TTP squared circle whereas Cainy has a plethora of PAU "Noonies" that will step in at the first drop of a fedora. In the remote chance that there is a corrupt decision, Cainy will appeal on the grounds of something totally irrevalent to the match, blaming the VMSL and Surrey United or phantom "hoes", resulting in Regs using his god-like powers to overturn the result and awarding the FA Cup facsimile trophy (AKA the covetted Regs Head Mold) to Cainy. The Cup will then be renamed the Ginger Nobody Cup where challengers Dickens Cider, Red Dragon and Ginger Tours will attempt to beat the crap outta Cainy for weeks to come. Can't wait. ~Regs. __________________ Take the piss (out of someone) vb. British -- to mock, deride, poke fun (at). This vulgarism has been in widespread use since the late 1940s. The original idea evoked by the expression was that of deflating someone, recalling the description of a self-important blusterer as 'all piss and wind.'

10-03-2003, 11:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Guinness Member Joined: Sep 2001 Location: crossing my T's & dotting my I's Posts: 3,407 Images: 1 TTP Friends: (2)	Ginge Minge I'd have to say wee cainy in a landslide... G.I.M.P. has nae chance of winning a fight with a wet paper bag (although it outweighs cainy) let a lone a Mystical match up with the singlette strutting Cloverdale boy!!! A quick bite on the ankle followed by an uppercut to the schnuts, finishing with an eye poke and the Gimpy one is out like a light... Nighty night buudy... So fcuking Easy, like Regs missus... Guinness BTW, Regs has Cainy slept with your mum or something??? What's with you big hard on for the PAU Nation's token red headed stepchild Cainy??? __________________ AVATAR enlarged: http://www.takethepiss.com/multimedi...s&cutoffdate=1

10-03-2003, 01:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
knvb Kick'n it old school... A Total Bastard Joined: Aug 2001 Location: Langley Posts: 10,572 Images: 229 TTP Friends: (6)	procrastinating cnut... Go on then.

10-03-2003, 01:46 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jinky Member Joined: Jun 2001 Location: locally Posts: 2,993 Images: 28 TTP Friends: (0)	Oh well, it looks as though I can't play matchmaker afterall. I'll get my coat.

10-03-2003, 02:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
Gurps Member Joined: Mar 2002 Location: SFU West Mall Posts: 896 TTP Friends: (1)	Cainy in a landslide Trust me, I have seen Star Chimp, this guy has enough trouble washing orange pop from his face, let alone fighting a FVSL'er.

10-03-2003, 02:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
rangerforever Fat Bastard A Better Bastard Joined: Sep 2001 Location: Govan Posts: 3,952 Images: 3 TTP Friends: (6)	We're on the march we're Cainy's Army... Cainy with the "Half Pretzel". Done. No need to even go to the "Full Pretzel". Star Gimp is just no Ivan The Terrible unfortunately. He'd do Billy Connelly proud in the "wit" department as well as the wrestling ring. Mikey Cain in the wrestling ring.. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... __________________ Acumfegovan

10-03-2003, 02:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
TOFFEE Member Joined: Sep 2003 Location: NORTH INDIA Posts: 22 Images: 2 TTP Friends: (0)	Please note that cainy is a scouser, so while this P.I.M.P VS The John face off is going on, Guinness( cause scott's are always in for a bit of a dirty) and the PAU lads will be swagging stuff for P.I.M.P's car or house like a local hood would do if a truck stopped at a light in the middle of the liverpool. But cainy to win by a red hair! __________________ KOPPITES ARE GOB SHITES, EFC FOREVER

10-03-2003, 03:14 PM	#12 (permalink)
Hands of Stone Premium Member A Better Bastard Joined: Jul 2001 Location: The NAP, Home of the Mighty Rangers Posts: 4,442 Images: 7 TTP Friends: (6)	Fity Cent Have to say that the 50 Cent song P.I.M.P. is catchy, and all the Pimps out there keep all us guys supplied with HO's, so I am going with Star Pimp. I am sure that Cainy will get distracted by the HO Train and Star Pimp will catch him with a cheap shot to the groin. Game over, bring in the HO Train to celebrate. Hello Ladies, Val

10-03-2003, 03:39 PM	#13 (permalink)
Big T Member Joined: Oct 2002 Location: Surrey Posts: 609 TTP Friends: (1)	Hey knvb, could you like do a Beaker's Pit with the wrestlers a week before....I wanna see Cainy and Nation of Domination, i mean PAU nation ....tell off the pimp and then listen to pimp's retort - "Cainy u jus suck, PAU sucks, u know da pimp 2 good at takin beats, i gets beats up all the time and i been shot 10 times" I totally see this match going to Cainy after the nation of domination roughs up pimp while the ref is distracted.

10-03-2003, 04:39 PM	#14 (permalink)
Captain Shamrock Premium Member A Better Bastard Joined: Jul 2001 Location: Richmond Posts: 11,538 TTP Friends: (2)	Stick to going .500 on dart night...... KNVB has just hit rock bottom and is still digging. Ouch.

10-03-2003, 04:43 PM	#15 (permalink)
knvb Kick'n it old school... A Total Bastard Joined: Aug 2001 Location: Langley Posts: 10,572 Images: 229 TTP Friends: (6)	What are you on about? I'm sorry is this your hole? Has been.

10-03-2003, 04:46 PM	#16 (permalink)
ParkHead Member Joined: May 2002 Location: Dumpy joint around the corner Posts: 1,927 TTP Friends: (1)	Personally that should just be the warm-up fight for the main event Step-child vs Guinness. Let the Red headed Ranger at the wee Hun Guinness. Parkhead

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10-03-2003, 04:59 PM	#17 (permalink)
knvb Kick'n it old school... A Total Bastard Joined: Aug 2001 Location: Langley Posts: 10,572 Images: 229 TTP Friends: (6)	Who said it was the main event? Simply an under card event.

10-03-2003, 05:31 PM	#18 (permalink)
Knees United Member Joined: Aug 2003 Location: ???? Posts: 123 TTP Friends: (0)	Why oh why do I get involved?????? Can't sat I know the G.I.M.P but I know Cainy......and the only one that can bet Cainy is himself; for example..... 1) Preparation Time: If you don't give Cainy enough time to "powder his nose" he's liable to miss the match all together. If the twat needs 2 hrs to get ready for a soccer match, how much time does he need for this? Note to Cainy....Eyes will burn from the mixer of Sweat & Sun-In....wear goggles. 2) Dress Code: If Cainy is "forced" to wear his yellow singlet he's liable to distract himself with his self proclaimed "deadsexy" body. Hey Cainy, hands off the "length" fella!!! It'll be there when you get home!! 3) Mock 3 shortage: What if prior to the match Cainy realizes he has no razor, and good buddy Jefferies', isn't packin' either!! Can't fight without a freshly shaven chest you know!!!! *************Forest GIMP, by default***************

10-03-2003, 05:47 PM	#19 (permalink)
Gurps Member Joined: Mar 2002 Location: SFU West Mall Posts: 896 TTP Friends: (1)	A sure way of ensuring that Cainy wins would be to inform the Surrey RCMP of a "overloaded van of berry pickers" coming into town. That would be Star Chimps only mode of transportation out of the boonies into town, as tractors are not allowed on the freeway, and there is no way he has his drivers licence, as you need to be able to at least read english to get a drivers license....although I do live in Richmond and that point could easily be contested

10-03-2003, 09:14 PM	#20 (permalink)
cainy Member Joined: Dec 2001 Location: Surrey Posts: 546 TTP Friends: (0)	Easy money I would lance STAR PIMPLE. I have some experience with the brown folk. This is a true story if I've ever told one. I wrestled in the NORKAM invitational in Kamloops one time. Our team arrives, and we check out the draws. First up for me was a lad from Kamloops named Ballrash sp ( Balraj) sidhu. Of course all the lads are having a laff cause I gotta fight some dude named Ballrash, anyways long story short. The match starts and I get him down, decide to try a gut wrench manoeuver, synch up around his waist,just as I am turning him over he shits himself right there on the mat. No fcukin joke, when I wrenched his guts I heard like this really wet fart go. Of course Ballrash says in a really painful voice. " i think i shit myself" I'm like fcuk off you did, and he's like "no really I think I shit myself. I pinned Balrash so fast after that, the fat lady hadn't even cleared her throat. I'm not sure it was my superior wrestling skill or Ballrash, just wanted to get out of there so he could go wipe his ass. Star PIMP you ain't got shit on me