[VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards

Keeper · 03-08-2005, 10:41 PM

Now that the season is unofficially finished with Indo/Akal wrapping up the 1B side, Primos going back to whence they came, and the 'Lomas preparing themselves for the playoff game, it's as good a time as any to start handing out the year's awards.

So, without further delay, here are the first of the (many more, I'm sure) Div 1B awards:

Underachievers of the Year
IFC Polonia
With all that individual talent, it’s a waste that they couldn’t put together a consistent string of “team-soccer”. When they’re on – they’re deadly. But too many times they weren’t and it cost them dearly in the standings.

Biggest Moaners
Tie: IFC Sarajevo & Meralomas SC
There were times when it was difficult to determine who was whining more: the Sarajevo players or their fans. However, if you were thick-skulled enough to ignore the cat-calls and moaning to the ref, the constant following of mystery snipers were enough to drive you out of your mind.

Whereas the Slavs complained each time they were on the ground, the Mermaids had an uncanny and unique ability to whine about virtually everything else. Invisible handballs, offsides, foul throws – it didn’t matter. If there was even a remote opportunity to pull out a whistle, they’d be on the ref about it. Next year, Div 2 teams may have to be worried about keeping their socks pulled up and putting away their jewellery.

The Hepburn Award for Most Class
Cliff Avenue
Despite enduring one of the most tragic events imaginable – the untimely passing and loss of Domenic – Cliff Avenue never failed to play with their hearts on their sleeves. They were always up for a competitive and clean match, getting stuck in for tough tackles but also giving a kind word to recognize a quality play and gentlemanly hand to help an opponent up.

Overconfidence Awards
WFC Rangers A for coughing up two valuable points in addition to the two leads they had against the Primos in a 3:3 draw. Sikh Temple for throwing away their last chance at promotion by losing a one-goal game to one of the biggest moaners in the division (see above). And City FC Blaze for their attitude (read: Playboi’s attitude) toward everybody.

The Matt Cooke Award (aka The Lunch-Pail Award)
Norvan Primos
Week after week, the Primos would be the first to arrive at the park, begin their callisthenics, tire themselves out in drill after drill, and then lose week after week*. The poor bastards will be the hardest workers again in Div 2 next year.

* Exception: see Overconfidence Award

Houdini Award
WFC Rangers A
For their seemingly magical disappearance between November and March, the Rangers amassed a grand total of 1 point out of a possible 15 only to return with a 6:1 lambasting of 3rd place Cliff Avenue.

New York Award
Sikh Temple
Possibly the most expensive 2nd place finish in VMSL history. Spending more money next year may get them the results they were looking for.

Worst Park of the Year (aka The VMSL Hates Us Award)
Connaught Park (Meralomas SC)
Although Strathcona Park was a strong contender for this award, the fact that Sarajevo were only doomed to be there for a portion of the season made Connaught Park the clear winner. This park is a disaster. The incline could have been tolerable had it not been for the egg-carton texture of the pitch. The smoothest of ground passes will meet your teammate anywhere between his knees and his shoulder – each time and each location, a crap-shoot. Meanwhile, don’t even think about getting good traction because the 70/30 mud/grass composition will gum up your cleats within 4 strides of cleaning them.

The Björk Award for Worst Kit of the Year
City FC Blaze
Obviously none of the money from their ever-hallowed summer league championship ever managed to find it’s way to Merkl’s Pro-Am Sports (mind the plug). Their 6’4”, 270 lb defenders brought new meaning to the term “tighty-whities”, and the rest of the team had more varied sock colours than Pippy Long-Stocking. If the shame they brought to the sanctity of the Imperial Cup wasn’t enough, it’ll be murder to have to see them again this summer.

Congratulations to all of this year’s winners.

Any 1A awards?

TS · 03-09-2005, 12:19 AM

"HAVING TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS" AWARD
Keeper
It must be nice to be able to sit back and not only come up with silly names for these awards, but to go into painfullly descriptive detail on each deserving winner. Now that takes some serious effort.
And Bjork, are you kidding me?! Was that just the first CD you pulled off your rack? In that case, any Michael Bolton awards for bad hairstyles?!

All joking aside, kudos to Cliff Ave. Utd for their perseverance and dedication in finishing out their season under the most difficult of circumstances. Truely a class act.

TS

Dartsinthehood · 03-09-2005, 02:26 AM

Biggest Overachievers:

WFC Rangers,

God that team in MINCE, there were honestly lucky to escape the Primos with a tie, I have seen team just demolish them, and stiil they are not up for relegation; shocking.

Im taking Club I, 3 nil ever with there depleted line-up this weekend.

Ralph Wiggum · 03-09-2005, 09:21 AM

Dear DITH, what did I ever do to you? Why the abuse? What do you have against me?

Sincerely,
The English Language

club_i_champ · 03-09-2005, 12:07 PM

I think DITH is still recovering from his trip to the bar sunday afternoon after his terrible performance

which lead to his teams last minute defeat

Speaking of recovering, how you feeling Walks?

I agree with Keeper that IFC Sarajevo are the biggest bunch of moaners I've ever played against or seen, but to write up awards for them, TS is right when saying you've got way too much time on your hands.

Stranger · 03-09-2005, 05:09 PM

We the Rangers don't condone the actions or agree in principle with any of the opinions expressed by Keeper.
But we still like him wwhen he's stopping goals....
Notcher

Dartsinthehood · 03-09-2005, 05:22 PM

I got nothing,

Sorry English Language

Canadian Club and Bombay Sapphire, were spelling and writing for me.

Keeper · 03-09-2005, 05:27 PM

I'm surprised no one balks at the time I spend on all the photos I take and post.

It's amazing what you can get accomplished when you manage your time and minimize the porn intake. Try it out some time, TS.

Notcher/Stranger/Sybil/Or-Whoever-You-Are, look here. Until some other Rangers start posting more often than you score, I am the voice of the Rangers.

Stranger · 03-09-2005, 05:29 PM

With that kind of mouth you're going to be the voice of the Div 2 CAT Rangers next year.....
Notcher.....from Strangers computer

hard ballz · 03-10-2005, 12:57 AM

I'll give the "MOANER'S" some credit because they did MOAN out two wins against Indo/Akal and Temple

.....maybe they do deserve something!

Hard Ballz

PLAYBOI · 03-10-2005, 11:50 AM

Keeper:

you forgot 2 VERY important awards

1. INTENET GEEK OF THE YEAR- awarded to the GEEK who exemplifies the most posts, pictures, and nerdiest commentary in the callendar year.

Winner: KEEPER - UNANIMUS DECICISION

2. PIMP OF THE YEAR - self explanitory

Winner: PLAYBOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

*BlazeArmy* · 03-10-2005, 12:13 PM

Playboi, i can't let this go.

Intenet.
Unanimus.
Callendar.

Hire yourself a secretary ( or one of your Ho's, Mr Pimp of the Year

)and try to spell things a little better.

Thanks

Army.

PS. when you hire them it does not make you a pimp.

Notcher · 03-21-2005, 01:54 PM

Late addition to the list....
Whiniest Bitch/Monica Seles wannabe
Asian guy on the back line of Polonia.......does he hear himself????

Stranger · 03-21-2005, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stranger

With that kind of mouth you're going to be the voice of the Div 2 CAT Rangers next year.....
Notcher.....from Strangers computer

Pardon??? With that mouth he'll be the voice of the Knights next year.

Stranger.......... from Stranger's computer.

**Captain Shamrock** · 03-21-2005, 03:37 PM

Coach of the Year

Craig Burnham (Burnro)

Undefeated in 2005.

Slam Dunk......

john · 03-21-2005, 04:18 PM

Captain,

I believe Kippax is also undefeated for 2005...........in league play of course.

This may not fit this thread but is a Div 1 topic.............it will be very interesting to see what comes of the two relagated teams next year. Khalsa were a shambles this year and I can't see them being any better in terms of players and commitment next year in Div 1...........while sources tell me that 6-7 core peg lads are indicating they will be joining the Trollups next year.

I can see Peg sticking together personally. A group that proved they could almost turn it on like a light switch and rev it up for cup while having a pretty easy time of it in Div 1, racking up stats and not having to put out too much effort

All this might be determined by the coin flip to see if they end up with the big spenders of Sikh Temple to which they would need to be almost perfect to win out or get the easier side "A".

J_B · 03-21-2005, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Shamrock

Coach of the Year

Craig Burnham (Burnro)

Undefeated in 2005.

Slam Dunk......

Craig Who?

Who does he coach?

Cheers
JB

Keeper · 03-22-2005, 03:26 PM

OK, let's feel free to move this conversation to the appropraite thread -- which this is not.

Thanks guys.

Keeper · 03-24-2005, 01:21 AM

Since no one can be bothered to take it to an appropriate thread or create one for themselves, I've taken the liberty to split the latest banter to another thread:

[VMSL Div 1] Rumours & Predictions 2004/2005

Again, please keep things on topic.

Keeper · 03-24-2005, 02:12 AM

Fastshow, please check your PMs.

Thanks.

03-08-2005, 10:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Keeper Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: - Posts: 5,532 Images: 1172 TTP Friends: (0)	[VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Now that the season is unofficially finished with Indo/Akal wrapping up the 1B side, Primos going back to whence they came, and the 'Lomas preparing themselves for the playoff game, it's as good a time as any to start handing out the year's awards. So, without further delay, here are the first of the (many more, I'm sure) Div 1B awards: Underachievers of the Year IFC Polonia With all that individual talent, it’s a waste that they couldn’t put together a consistent string of “team-soccer”. When they’re on – they’re deadly. But too many times they weren’t and it cost them dearly in the standings. Biggest Moaners Tie: IFC Sarajevo & Meralomas SC There were times when it was difficult to determine who was whining more: the Sarajevo players or their fans. However, if you were thick-skulled enough to ignore the cat-calls and moaning to the ref, the constant following of mystery snipers were enough to drive you out of your mind. Whereas the Slavs complained each time they were on the ground, the Mermaids had an uncanny and unique ability to whine about virtually everything else. Invisible handballs, offsides, foul throws – it didn’t matter. If there was even a remote opportunity to pull out a whistle, they’d be on the ref about it. Next year, Div 2 teams may have to be worried about keeping their socks pulled up and putting away their jewellery. The Hepburn Award for Most Class Cliff Avenue Despite enduring one of the most tragic events imaginable – the untimely passing and loss of Domenic – Cliff Avenue never failed to play with their hearts on their sleeves. They were always up for a competitive and clean match, getting stuck in for tough tackles but also giving a kind word to recognize a quality play and gentlemanly hand to help an opponent up. Overconfidence Awards WFC Rangers A for coughing up two valuable points in addition to the two leads they had against the Primos in a 3:3 draw. Sikh Temple for throwing away their last chance at promotion by losing a one-goal game to one of the biggest moaners in the division (see above). And City FC Blaze for their attitude (read: Playboi’s attitude) toward everybody. The Matt Cooke Award (aka The Lunch-Pail Award) Norvan Primos Week after week, the Primos would be the first to arrive at the park, begin their callisthenics, tire themselves out in drill after drill, and then lose week after week. The poor bastards will be the hardest workers again in Div 2 next year. Exception: see Overconfidence Award Houdini Award WFC Rangers A For their seemingly magical disappearance between November and March, the Rangers amassed a grand total of 1 point out of a possible 15 only to return with a 6:1 lambasting of 3rd place Cliff Avenue. New York Award Sikh Temple Possibly the most expensive 2nd place finish in VMSL history. Spending more money next year may get them the results they were looking for. Worst Park of the Year (aka The VMSL Hates Us Award) Connaught Park (Meralomas SC) Although Strathcona Park was a strong contender for this award, the fact that Sarajevo were only doomed to be there for a portion of the season made Connaught Park the clear winner. This park is a disaster. The incline could have been tolerable had it not been for the egg-carton texture of the pitch. The smoothest of ground passes will meet your teammate anywhere between his knees and his shoulder – each time and each location, a crap-shoot. Meanwhile, don’t even think about getting good traction because the 70/30 mud/grass composition will gum up your cleats within 4 strides of cleaning them. The Björk Award for Worst Kit of the Year City FC Blaze Obviously none of the money from their ever-hallowed summer league championship ever managed to find it’s way to Merkl’s Pro-Am Sports (mind the plug). Their 6’4”, 270 lb defenders brought new meaning to the term “tighty-whities”, and the rest of the team had more varied sock colours than Pippy Long-Stocking. If the shame they brought to the sanctity of the Imperial Cup wasn’t enough, it’ll be murder to have to see them again this summer. Congratulations to all of this year’s winners. Any 1A awards? __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

03-09-2005, 12:19 AM	#2 (permalink)
TS Premium Member A Better Bastard Joined: Jun 2002 Location: Lower East Side Posts: 304 TTP Friends: (1)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards "HAVING TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS" AWARD Keeper It must be nice to be able to sit back and not only come up with silly names for these awards, but to go into painfullly descriptive detail on each deserving winner. Now that takes some serious effort. And Bjork, are you kidding me?! Was that just the first CD you pulled off your rack? In that case, any Michael Bolton awards for bad hairstyles?! All joking aside, kudos to Cliff Ave. Utd for their perseverance and dedication in finishing out their season under the most difficult of circumstances. Truely a class act. TS __________________ I'M ALL IN.

03-09-2005, 02:26 AM	#3 (permalink)
Dartsinthehood Member Joined: Mar 2003 Location: hood Posts: 71 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Biggest Overachievers: WFC Rangers, God that team in MINCE, there were honestly lucky to escape the Primos with a tie, I have seen team just demolish them, and stiil they are not up for relegation; shocking. Im taking Club I, 3 nil ever with there depleted line-up this weekend. __________________ Is Navarro getting the final????

03-09-2005, 09:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ralph Wiggum A Better Bastard Joined: Jun 2004 Location: Tsawwassen Posts: 97 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Dear DITH, what did I ever do to you? Why the abuse? What do you have against me? Sincerely, The English Language

03-09-2005, 12:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
club_i_champ Member Joined: Dec 2001 Location: Next to the cooler Posts: 421 TTP Friends: (5)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards I think DITH is still recovering from his trip to the bar sunday afternoon after his terrible performance which lead to his teams last minute defeat Speaking of recovering, how you feeling Walks? I agree with Keeper that IFC Sarajevo are the biggest bunch of moaners I've ever played against or seen, but to write up awards for them, TS is right when saying you've got way too much time on your hands.

03-09-2005, 05:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
Stranger Member Joined: Sep 2003 Location: Vancouver Posts: 171 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards We the Rangers don't condone the actions or agree in principle with any of the opinions expressed by Keeper. But we still like him wwhen he's stopping goals.... Notcher

03-09-2005, 05:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dartsinthehood Member Joined: Mar 2003 Location: hood Posts: 71 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards I got nothing, Sorry English Language Canadian Club and Bombay Sapphire, were spelling and writing for me. __________________ Is Navarro getting the final????

03-09-2005, 05:27 PM	#8 (permalink)
Keeper Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: - Posts: 5,532 Images: 1172 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards I'm surprised no one balks at the time I spend on all the photos I take and post. It's amazing what you can get accomplished when you manage your time and minimize the porn intake. Try it out some time, TS. Notcher/Stranger/Sybil/Or-Whoever-You-Are, look here. Until some other Rangers start posting more often than you score, I am the voice of the Rangers. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

03-09-2005, 05:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
Stranger Member Joined: Sep 2003 Location: Vancouver Posts: 171 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards With that kind of mouth you're going to be the voice of the Div 2 CAT Rangers next year..... Notcher.....from Strangers computer

03-10-2005, 12:57 AM	#10 (permalink)
hard ballz Member Joined: Sep 2001 Location: everywhere but home Posts: 608 TTP Friends: (9)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards I'll give the "MOANER'S" some credit because they did MOAN out two wins against Indo/Akal and Temple .....maybe they do deserve something! Hard Ballz __________________ " Who is this mother nature?....I'll SLAP that B!tch! " "I abused Val when he was young".....The ROCK!

03-10-2005, 11:50 AM	#11 (permalink)
PLAYBOI Member Joined: Jul 2004 Location: YOUR MOM"S HOUSE Posts: 57 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Keeper: you forgot 2 VERY important awards 1. INTENET GEEK OF THE YEAR- awarded to the GEEK who exemplifies the most posts, pictures, and nerdiest commentary in the callendar year. Winner: KEEPER - UNANIMUS DECICISION 2. PIMP OF THE YEAR - self explanitory Winner: PLAYBOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

03-10-2005, 12:13 PM	#12 (permalink)
BlazeArmy Not too bright BANNED Joined: Dec 2002 Location: Club 'Ding Posts: 3,052 Images: 23 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Playboi, i can't let this go. Intenet. Unanimus. Callendar. Hire yourself a secretary ( or one of your Ho's, Mr Pimp of the Year )and try to spell things a little better. Thanks Army. PS. when you hire them it does not make you a pimp.

03-21-2005, 01:54 PM	#13 (permalink)
Notcher Member Joined: Sep 2004 Location: vancouver Posts: 198 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Late addition to the list.... Whiniest Bitch/Monica Seles wannabe Asian guy on the back line of Polonia.......does he hear himself????

03-21-2005, 03:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
Captain Shamrock Premium Member A Better Bastard Joined: Jul 2001 Location: Richmond Posts: 11,600 TTP Friends: (2)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Coach of the Year Craig Burnham (Burnro) Undefeated in 2005. Slam Dunk......

03-21-2005, 04:18 PM	#16 (permalink)
john Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in the back Posts: 682 TTP Friends: (1)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Captain, I believe Kippax is also undefeated for 2005...........in league play of course. This may not fit this thread but is a Div 1 topic.............it will be very interesting to see what comes of the two relagated teams next year. Khalsa were a shambles this year and I can't see them being any better in terms of players and commitment next year in Div 1...........while sources tell me that 6-7 core peg lads are indicating they will be joining the Trollups next year. I can see Peg sticking together personally. A group that proved they could almost turn it on like a light switch and rev it up for cup while having a pretty easy time of it in Div 1, racking up stats and not having to put out too much effort All this might be determined by the coin flip to see if they end up with the big spenders of Sikh Temple to which they would need to be almost perfect to win out or get the easier side "A".

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03-22-2005, 03:26 PM	#18 (permalink)
Keeper Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: - Posts: 5,532 Images: 1172 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards OK, let's feel free to move this conversation to the appropraite thread -- which this is not. Thanks guys. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

03-24-2005, 01:21 AM	#19 (permalink)
Keeper Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: - Posts: 5,532 Images: 1172 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Since no one can be bothered to take it to an appropriate thread or create one for themselves, I've taken the liberty to split the latest banter to another thread: [VMSL Div 1] Rumours & Predictions 2004/2005 Again, please keep things on topic. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

03-24-2005, 02:12 AM	#20 (permalink)
Keeper Member Joined: Jul 2001 Location: - Posts: 5,532 Images: 1172 TTP Friends: (0)	Re: [VMSL Div 1] 2005 TTP Awards Fastshow, please check your PMs. Thanks. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]