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    Happy birthday, Webmaster....

    Happy birthday, Regs. All the best, Fastshow.
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    Calling Captain Shamrock - Where are you?

    Re: Champions League 2005/2006 Should anyone have any idea where el Burnsie is at the moment or indeed have any way of getting in touch with him Beano and I would appreciate it. We're in Glasgow at The Millenium Hotel, you see, under the auspicies of meeting up with everyone's favourite...
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    Dapotayto's Strictly Men Only Euro 2004 Thread

    Your man Dapotayto was banging on the other day about birds being allowed in pubs to watch the football. Having thought long and hard (ooer) about what is obviously an outrageously politically incorrect notion, I have come to a conclusion. Now, it should go without saying that I try and...
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    Saint's Random Pictures of London Thread

    Saint's been begging me to post some pictures of London. Here's one to start with; The Tattersall Castle, recently arrived from a cruise to Cardiff...... Cheers, Saint.......
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    CDK's 23 Minutes Into the First Half Euro 2004 Analysis Thread

    Use this thread for any and all analysis in Euro 2004 matches up to (and including) the 23rd minute of the first half. I've been impressed by a great number of the kick-offs in this tournament. Some of the preening, short-straightening, running on the spot, and genuflection has been top-drawer.
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    Biggest Cheats at Euro 2004

    So far? The Wops' Totti and his overactive saliva gland and the Pork Chops' Maniche for the comical panty-waist Rivaldo-esque-hands-to-face routine when brushed with the ball against the brave Russians. Fcuking dagos ruin football innit. Other nominations?
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    filling the net's England vs. Switzerland Good Luck Thread

    The next big game is almost upon us and we can use this thread to send TTP's favourite Euro 2004 side our collective good wishes. You can say nice things about England as well if you like. Euro 2004 Helpful Phrases Intrepid English travellers will need this handy guide with all the...
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    New Balls Please......

    James: New ball is absolute nightmare By Ken Dyer, Evening Standard, in Lisbon 16 June 2004 David James today criticised the new Roteiro football used at Euro 2004, describing it as "horrible." The England star, who says he wants to be the best goalkeeper in the tournament despite...
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    French Drugs Shock

    10:59GMT:Associated Press Breaking News........... It's alleged that one of the French football players has failed a drugs and alcohol test yesterday (Tuesday). If this is confirmed as positive, under World Football Federation rules, paragraph 6 sub section 2e, France will forfeit the first...
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    Hijab a Dabba Do

    Have a shufty of the following....... Now, I'm all for everyone co-existing peacefully with one another, even French people (I'm a humanist) but I applaud this decision as, for once, a ridiculous precedent has been avoided. But, for how long? If you want to dress like a fcuking ninja and...
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    Holland's Euro 2004 Good Luck Thread

    They're playing zzzzzzGermans, they don't give a stuff about any edicts from a poxy suburb of Rome and wear glorious orange to show it........ how can you not like the Dutch? Wonderful. Even if they do have Clarence cnuting Seedorf. Tomorrow's the big day, Deutschland v. Holland in a...
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    England's Euro 2004 Good Luck Thread

    Having been on TTP in its' different incarnations for slightly over 27 years now, I feel it safe to say the overwhelming majority of TTP's membership is desperate for England to do well in Euro 2004. While there is a small contigent of troglodytes who besmirch the good name of God's country...
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    Fcuking

    AUSTRIA- Residents in the curiously named village of Fcuking have voted against changing the moniker- despite road signs being stolen regularly by the English. One villager said: 'Everyone here knows what it means in English but, for us, Fcuking is Fcuking and it's going to stay Fcuking.' The...
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    Taking a Piss

    An open question on a subject which affects us all......... Yesterday afternoon at approximately 16:06, in an effort to (quite literally) piddle away the last of the working day, I went to have a piss. For context, you might wish to add the following to your list of facts in order to make a...
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    Happy Birthday Shuffy!!!

    Hope you have a super day, Shuffy, many happy returns!!!! Hope you manage to square that thing we were talking about!!!!
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    AMSL Premium Membership Sweepstakes Thread

    STD had the clever idea of creating a thread in which non-Premium Members (tight bastards) can post their reasons for not having coughed up the $35 for Premium Membership. The AMSL has very kindly offered two (shiny) Premium Memberships on TTP and the rules are simple........ tell those of us in...
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    Test Matches 2004

    It must be said that KNVB and Regs do a rubbish job of moderating this thread. I'd have thought given the fact the second test between New Zealand and England started this morning (as you will remember, England won the first test against the Kiwis at a canter a couple weeks ago), this thread...
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    Happy Birthday Jinks.........

    Happy birthday, old boy. I'll raise a glass in your honour tonight. Might even put some drink in it too.
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    Forever England

    Happy St. George's Day, Captain Shamrock.......
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    World-famous German Humour.......

    Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital. A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family. Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and...
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