Joke of the Day

cside17

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Two men sit drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building.
> One turns to the other and says:
> "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this
> building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the
> building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back
> into the window."
>
> The bartender overhears this, shakes his head, and continues wiping down
> the bar.
>
> The 2nd Man says:
> "What are you, a nut? There is no way in hell that could happen!"
>
> The 1st Man says:
> "No, it's true, let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps
> over the balcony, and careens toward the street below. When he passes the
> 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the
> 10th floor window, where he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
>
> The 2nd Man says:
> "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but it must have been a one- time
> fluke."
>
> The 1st Man says:
> No, it isn't. I'll prove it again!" And again he jumps and hurtles toward
> the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the
> building and into the window. When he gets back upstairs, the 2nd man is
> excited.
>
> "Geez, do you think that would work for me?"
>
> "Why not," says the 1st man.
>
> The 2nd Man says:
> "Well, what the hell, if it works, I could make some serious money with
> this." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the
> 11th...10th...9th...and hits the sidewalk with a splat.
>
> Back upstairs, the bartender turns to the other drinker and says:
>
> "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."
>
 

Fastshow

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Maldini of the day...........

A chubby bloke called Saint was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a "Guaranteed" weight loss program. "Is it hell" he thinks to himself. "But let's see what they think they can do." He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3-day, 10-pound weight loss program.

The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when Saint answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike's and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through, he thinks to himself with a nod, "I like the way this company does business."

For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, Saint weighs himself on his industrial scales, and sure enough he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat slender physique, not to mention the method of "treatment," he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5-day, 20-pound weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their "workout" schedule might be like this time.

As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it,there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reebok's and a sign around her neck. She is simply stunning and the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads "If you can catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

He is really looking forward to the next four days....For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. "I love this company," he thinks to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun!"

Feeling much better about himself, Saint decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7-day, 50-pound weight loss program. "Are you sure, Mr. Saint?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. I haven't felt this good in years!"

The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200-pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If I can catch you, I can have you."
 

cside17

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One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love.
All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the
young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman
started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!".
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained
the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky
situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would
permit". The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor
could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina.
The doctor said "OK,what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the
top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina.When I feel
the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it
and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife'svagina."the
husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes,
yes,whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering
the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's
vagina. Aftera few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think
the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor
began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began
to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh
doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard,
looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the
young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband,
at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait
a minute, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he blasted. The
doctor, still concentrating, replied "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown
the bastard".
 

Lupoman

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summer vacation....

So little Johnny is home for summer vacation, driving his poor mother around the bend. While trying to think of something to entertain the lad, she looks out the window and sees a house being built across the street. " Why don't you go and watch the men working over at that house " she tells the boy. So Johnny walks across the road and starts watching. "Whatcha doin'?", he asks the carpenter. "Well", says the carpenter, "We gotta put the goddamn door in but usually the sonofabitch don't fit so ya gotta take the bastard out and shave a cnuthair off each side."

Johnny goes home later in the day. "So Johnny, did you learn anything over there", his Mom asks. "Yeah,Mom, I learned you gotta put the goddamn door in but usually the sonofabitch don't fit so you gotta take the bastard out and shave a cnuthair off each side!"

"Go to your room, young man" his mother yells. "You just wait 'til your father gets home!

Johnny's father arrives home a few hours later, and upon hearing the story from Johnny's mother, marches up to Johnny's room.
"Well" he says "We can't have that kind of language in this house young man. You are going to have to be punished. I want you to go out behind the shed and find a switch that I can use , then come back here."

"Fcuk you", Johnny replies, "That's the electricians job!"
 

cside17

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A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"

The kid says, "One."

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"


Kid says, "$101,237.64."

Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"

Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"

Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
 

PNE

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A little boy goes into London Drugs & asks for a packet of tampons.The assistant says"would you like me to gift-wrap them as they are probably a present for your Mother or sister"
He replies "No thanks.Actually they are for me"
The lady asks"What does a little boy like you need a packet of tampons for?"
"Well you see" answers the boy"I was reading the writing on a packet the other day & it said with tampax you can play tennis,ride a bike & go swimming & I can't do any of those yet!"
 

Fastshow

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::

A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks: "Have you been drinking Sir?"

"No. Why?" asks the man, "Was I all over the road?"

"No" replies the Officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."

 

Lupoman

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Daughter of lupoman says....

Seems there was this Canadian guy, a Mexican and an American all working an a construction site. They are sitting down to their lunch break when the Canadian says " If I get salmon sandwiches in my lunch one more time I'm gonna jump off this building." Sure enough, he opens his lunch and he's got salmon sandwiches! He closes his lunch box, calmly stands up, walks to the edge of the building and jumps to a hideously messy and painful death.

The Mexican then says " If I get burritos in my lunch one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building too!" So he opens his lunch and sure enough, he's got burritos! He too closes his lunch box, stands up, walks to the edge off the building and throws himself to his death !

The American then says," If I get balogna and cheese sandwiches again, I'm going off this building too!" So he opens his lunch and sure enough, thats what he's got. He stands up, walks to the edge and off he goes!

A week later, the funeral is held for all three workers. The Canadian guys wife says" If only I had known, I wouldn't have packed him another salmon sandwich!"

The Mexicans wife says "If only I had known, I wouldn't have packed him another burrito!"

All the people then look to the American's wife. She becomes suddenly aware that all eyes are upon her.

"What are you looking at me for,"she says," he always packed his own lunch!":eek:
 

sid

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fergie

whats the difference between sir alex ferguson & the beegees



fergies still playing giggs:D :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa: :wa:

sid
 

peter

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Retirement Bonus

The Pentagon recently decided it had too many generals so it offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first general was from the Army. He asked the pension clerk to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check for $720,000.

The second general, from the Air Force, asked the pension clerk to measure from the tip of his up-stretched fingertips to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

The third general was a grizzled old Marine from Texas. He told the pension clerk, "Son, I want you to measure from the tip of my penis all the way to my testicles."

The pension clerk suggested that perhaps the general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.

The Marine general insisted, "No, sir. You heard right. Go ahead and measure."

The clerk said that would be OK, but he'd better get a medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the gneral's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he said, "where are your testicles?"

"Vietnam," the general replied
 

Captain Shamrock

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A guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat.

"Could I have a pint of Guinness, please?" asked the man.

"I'll have a pint of Guinness," the ostrich replied.

"I'll have a pint of Guinness but I'm not paying," said the cat emphatically.

Bartender- That will be $14.40

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $14.40 without even thinking about it.

After finishing their pint, the man then asked for a whiskey.
The ostrich asked for a whiskey and of course, the cat asked for a whiskey and emphatically stated that he was not paying for it.

Bartender: "That will be$16.50 please.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out exactly $16.50. After finishing their whiskey....

Man:"I'll have a whiskey and a pint of Guinness please."
Ostrich:"I'll have a whiskey and a pint of Guinness please."
Cat: "I'll have a whiskey and a pint of Guinness but I'm NOT paying."

Bartender: "That will be $24.75 please."

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $24.75. After seeing this, the bartender asked the man:

"I couldn't help but notice your ability to pull out the EXACT amount of change every time I give you a price. That is remarkable. How do you do it?"

"Well, I was walking along the street one day and I tripped on a bottle and out came a genie. He granted me two wishes. My first wish was that I could always have just the right amount of money available for whatever I needed at the time."

"Wow, that is a great wish," said the bartender. "What was your second wish?"

"Well, that is where I slightly messed up. I asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy. " :wa:
 

BlazeArmy

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1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
---
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
---
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
---
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?
---
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.
---
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
---
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
---
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
---
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
---
10. Is there another word for synonym?
---
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
---
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
---
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
---
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
---
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?
---
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
---
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
---
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
---
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
--
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
signs?
---
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
---
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
---

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
---
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
---
25. How is it possible to have a civil war? @#&%$!!!# ?
---
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
---
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
---
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
---
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
---
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
---
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
---
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
---
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
disoriented?
 

BlazeArmy

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oooops

There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery ... as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, The part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
 

BlazeArmy

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Men VS Women and Showering Practises

Showering Habits - How to shower like a woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, and long
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until it’s red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How to shower like a man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire your wiener and
scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your armpits.

6. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

7. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.

8. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas.

9. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.

10. Shampoo your hair.

11. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

12. Pee.

13. Rinse off and get out of shower.

14. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
hanging out of the tub the whole time.

15. Admire wiener again.

16. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

17. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife
pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.

18. Throw wet towel on bed.
 

BlazeArmy

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Off to the races

Here's the
HORSE RACE Line up

In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Dick
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry

AND THEY'RE OFF!!!

Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and
Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.

AT THE HALFWAY MARK:

It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Dick is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.

AT THE STRETCH:

Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
Bare Belly is making a final push.
Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

AT THE FINISH:

It's Big Dick giving everything he's got and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes
through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
Bare Belly shows...
Thighs weakens...
Heavy Bosom pulls up..
and Clean Sheets never had a chance
 

BlazeArmy

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Tim goes into the doctor's office and has some
tests run.

The doctor comes back and says "Tim, I'm not going to
beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Tim is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

"Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots
drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts
and 40 peanuts, ½ box of Grape Nuts cereal, and top it
off with a gallon of prune juice."

Tim asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."
 

Hands of Stone

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Fore

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....Of
course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it; it's the least I can
do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same
for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of nonstop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"No Kidding. Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe
in genies?"

hos
 

Hands of Stone

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Execitive Decisions

An executive was pondering over a hard decision. He had to get rid of one of
his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra orJack. It
would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and
both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever
one used the water cooler first would have to go.

Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night..
She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the
executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but
I have to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like shite."

Jerry
 

TheRob

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Cop jokes are funny.

There was a cop on his horse, waiting to cross the street when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little boy said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the boy a $20 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."
The young boy looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little boy looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
 

Fastshow

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topical......

Particularly topical given 'the leader of the free world's' latest stroke of genius to reintroduce yank conscription. Cue 50,000 draft dodgers realising Canada actually exists outside Southpark.

This is written in a 'style' not dissimilar to that of HoS.


LETTER FROM A FARM KID NOW AT THE U.S. of A MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT IN SAN DIEGO.




Dear Ma and Pa:



I am well Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.



Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,etc.,but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried
eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different.

A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.


Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.



Your loving daughter,

Gail


 

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