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Shaw Cable Internet
- Thread starter Regs
- Start date
- Thread starter
- Admin
- #3
The fcukers called again last nite. One more time and I'm gonna tell them "yeah sure, sign me up. I'm home everyday, all day so bring it over anytime"... then I'll make sure I'm never home when they say they'll be there.
Wankers.
~TB.
Wankers.
~TB.
Tele-games
Hey Regs,
you might want to try something along these lines...
Premise:
Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales. If you talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what you are selling.
Counter-Tactic:
Waste as much of their time as you can. For each minute that you waste means several potential customers that will not be reached. Make Telemarketing unprofitable. Hanging up only increases the changes for them to make a sale. Don't let this happen!
Hints:
Most of the preliminary stuff is done by someone making minimum wage, and reads a script. Let them finish. It's easy points, and you were watching Star Trek and weren't using your phone anyway. It's easy to keep them interested using "attentive grunting", similar to when your mother calls.
Scoring:
Basic Point System:
For each minute spent on the phone 10 pts.
Getting transferred to someone who makes more than minimum wage 15 pts
For each minute spent on the phone with person making more than minimum wage 25 pts
Bonus Points:
Getting them to repeat part of the "script" 5 pts/each
Getting answers to stupid questions 15 pts/each
Changing the subject 50 pts/each
Making the salesperson angry 175 pts
Making the salesperson hang up 750 pts
Call back, get their boss on the phone, and tell them the salesperson hung up on you 1500 pts
Getting their 1-800- number 10 pts
Checking the number a week later and it is busy or disconnected 5000 pts
Example:
Ring
Me: Yes?
Them: Hi, I'm with Fly-By-Night Carpet Cleaning and we're in your area [...] [start clock->]
Them: [...] would like to know it you are interested?
Me: Sure...
Them: Well, we are currently offering [...]
Them: [...] depending on the size of the rooms.
Me: Well, how much for the whole house? [15 bonus pts!]
Them: Let me transfer you to
Them: Sir?
Me: Yes? [25 pts/min!]
Them: How large is your house?
Me: Oh, about 2,000 sqft.
Them: [...] Well, that would be about $xxx
Me: [duh?] It won't hurt the floor, will it?
Them: Oh, no! We use a [...this usually takes some time!...] and is completely safe.
Me: [duh?] Even with my pets?
Them: Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]
Me: Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
Them: Yes, and we do that with [...]
Me: [repeat!] But the original offer was for $39.95, does that include treating for pets?
Them: [...]
Me: [subject change] Well, it is kind of dirty. The guys were over for the game. Did you see the Cowboys vs. the Rams?
Them: Yes.
Me: What a game! That last touchdown pass! Wasn't that a great play?
Them: Well, back to your house...
Me: Oh yes, what about moving the furniture?
Them: [...]
Me: [subject change] Do you clean furniture, too? Those guys spilled some beer. Have you smelled old beer on furniture before? But what a game, eh?! I couldn't believe that they couldn't move the ball in the second quarter... [...]
Them: [angry???] Ahem... Would you like us to come out?
Me: Well, when could you come out?
Them: How about next week?
Me: Hmmm... Morning or afternoon?
Them: Either would be fine.
Me: Do you have anything the week after?
Them: Sure, can I put you down for Tuesday?
[Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]
Me: Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all hardwood floors here!
Them: click Yes! 750 points!
courtesy of antitelemarketer.com
Hey Regs,
you might want to try something along these lines...
Premise:
Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales. If you talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what you are selling.
Counter-Tactic:
Waste as much of their time as you can. For each minute that you waste means several potential customers that will not be reached. Make Telemarketing unprofitable. Hanging up only increases the changes for them to make a sale. Don't let this happen!
Hints:
Most of the preliminary stuff is done by someone making minimum wage, and reads a script. Let them finish. It's easy points, and you were watching Star Trek and weren't using your phone anyway. It's easy to keep them interested using "attentive grunting", similar to when your mother calls.
Scoring:
Basic Point System:
For each minute spent on the phone 10 pts.
Getting transferred to someone who makes more than minimum wage 15 pts
For each minute spent on the phone with person making more than minimum wage 25 pts
Bonus Points:
Getting them to repeat part of the "script" 5 pts/each
Getting answers to stupid questions 15 pts/each
Changing the subject 50 pts/each
Making the salesperson angry 175 pts
Making the salesperson hang up 750 pts
Call back, get their boss on the phone, and tell them the salesperson hung up on you 1500 pts
Getting their 1-800- number 10 pts
Checking the number a week later and it is busy or disconnected 5000 pts
Example:
Ring
Me: Yes?
Them: Hi, I'm with Fly-By-Night Carpet Cleaning and we're in your area [...] [start clock->]
Them: [...] would like to know it you are interested?
Me: Sure...
Them: Well, we are currently offering [...]
Them: [...] depending on the size of the rooms.
Me: Well, how much for the whole house? [15 bonus pts!]
Them: Let me transfer you to
Them: Sir?
Me: Yes? [25 pts/min!]
Them: How large is your house?
Me: Oh, about 2,000 sqft.
Them: [...] Well, that would be about $xxx
Me: [duh?] It won't hurt the floor, will it?
Them: Oh, no! We use a [...this usually takes some time!...] and is completely safe.
Me: [duh?] Even with my pets?
Them: Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]
Me: Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
Them: Yes, and we do that with [...]
Me: [repeat!] But the original offer was for $39.95, does that include treating for pets?
Them: [...]
Me: [subject change] Well, it is kind of dirty. The guys were over for the game. Did you see the Cowboys vs. the Rams?
Them: Yes.
Me: What a game! That last touchdown pass! Wasn't that a great play?
Them: Well, back to your house...
Me: Oh yes, what about moving the furniture?
Them: [...]
Me: [subject change] Do you clean furniture, too? Those guys spilled some beer. Have you smelled old beer on furniture before? But what a game, eh?! I couldn't believe that they couldn't move the ball in the second quarter... [...]
Them: [angry???] Ahem... Would you like us to come out?
Me: Well, when could you come out?
Them: How about next week?
Me: Hmmm... Morning or afternoon?
Them: Either would be fine.
Me: Do you have anything the week after?
Them: Sure, can I put you down for Tuesday?
[Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]
Me: Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all hardwood floors here!
Them: click Yes! 750 points!
courtesy of antitelemarketer.com
me too
I got called last night. First thing they asked was 'Do you have a computer?" What business is it of their's to ask what you have in your home. Remind's me of the time another telemarketer asked if I had kids of a certain age. Pisd me off big time. Like I'll tell anyone (I don't know) on the phone how many children live in my house.
I got called last night. First thing they asked was 'Do you have a computer?" What business is it of their's to ask what you have in your home. Remind's me of the time another telemarketer asked if I had kids of a certain age. Pisd me off big time. Like I'll tell anyone (I don't know) on the phone how many children live in my house.
Captain Shamrock
Well-Known Member
Smelly clitoris
If Eminem is who I think it is, I would like to nominate him for being a smelly cnut. Besides, his last post was diabolical.
If Eminem is who I think it is, I would like to nominate him for being a smelly cnut. Besides, his last post was diabolical.
Captain Shamrock
Well-Known Member
Sorry
Eminem,
Would the real Eminem please stand up? I thought you were Warney. You're not, so I take back my statement if you try and punctuate the last sentence you wrote to me. Thanks.
Yours in grammar,
Captain Shamrock
Eminem,
Would the real Eminem please stand up? I thought you were Warney. You're not, so I take back my statement if you try and punctuate the last sentence you wrote to me. Thanks.
Yours in grammar,
Captain Shamrock
Captain Shamrock
Well-Known Member
Good to see the Winnipeg Public School System working
I just had another look at Eminem's post and he is a wanker. Couldn't be older than 18. Word up.
You're a prime example of Winnipeg's tax dollars in education going fully to waste. Word and peace out.
Yours in licking dogs bollocks,
Captain Shamrock
I just had another look at Eminem's post and he is a wanker. Couldn't be older than 18. Word up.
You're a prime example of Winnipeg's tax dollars in education going fully to waste. Word and peace out.
Yours in licking dogs bollocks,
Captain Shamrock
Captain Shamrock
Well-Known Member
Ooops, he did it again.....
Excellent piss-taking, Eminem(notice there is a captial letter at the start of a person's name, even yours). Too many Sunday nights at Grapes on Main for this young lad.......
Excellent piss-taking, Eminem(notice there is a captial letter at the start of a person's name, even yours). Too many Sunday nights at Grapes on Main for this young lad.......
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