The best Simpsons' episodes and quotes

[deb]

Given that there are many of us who are obviously fans (and who have far too much spare time........) I propose a new thread:

The best episodes and quotes from the Simpsons'!

One of my favourite episodes would have to be when Bart and Lisa play hockey. I love the violence!!!!!!

"Heads up, little girl!" Apu in coaching mode.

 

[Keeper]

Same episode (one of my favourites)

Marge: Stop it, stop it, stop it! [flicks light on and off]
Bart: Mom, that is really annoying.
Lisa: Bart started it.
Bart: Uh uh, Lisa started it.
Marge: I don't care who started it. I don't ever want to see you two fighting like that ever again. We love you both: you're not in competition with each other. Repeat: you are not in competition with each other.
Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love!
[flicks light on and off]
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!...

Also . . . .

Homer: Oh my God, Marge. A penalty shot with only four seconds left. It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise; the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!

 

[fat monkey]

Possibly a good thread

Homer makes fun of Apus religion inside Kwik-E-Mart, to which he replies:

Mr. Simpson! You have insulted my beliefs and everything I stand for. Now get out of my store...and come again!

 

[deb]

more faves

Dancin' Homer:


" And I got up in front of them. I felt an intoxication that had nothing to do with alcohol. It was the intoxication of being a public spectacle!"

The musical version of "Streetcar":

Stella! STELLLAAAA! Can't you hear me YELLA!
You're puttin' me through HELLA! Stella... STELLLAAAA!

 

[peter]

Homer the cannonball-catcher

Homer's introduced to the top bill of the show:

Billy (shaking Homer's hand): "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins"

Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely"

 

[Keeper]

Homer & Pornography

Homer: "Dr. Screwlittle sounded like a delightful little romp."

 

[SC]

All of them are great...

When Lisa goes missing and Homer is sitting on her bed speeking through her saxiphone "Sax-i-ma-phone"

And the one that was on last night -Homer tries to convince Bart not to be gay, but when they go to the Steel Worker's factory the lights go down low and the fruits come out....

EVE-RY-BOD-Y DANCE NOW (I can still hear the song )

 

[Regs]

Not a quote per se, but...

Thought this was funny...

Duffs off or Cuffs on
By Jouni Paakkinen (jouni@snpp.com) - December 8, 2001

Attorneys representing 20th Century Fox have approached a family-owned brewery in Dunedin, New Zealand, demanding that they cease and desist all production of their “Duffs” brand alcoholic beverage.

The incident marks the second legal scuffle over the “Duff” beer brand portrayed in The Simpsons. In 1996, Fox successfully sued The South Australian Brewing company for producing “Duff” brand beer, citing a violation of copyright over the Duff Beer name and logo. In forcing the company to cease its manufacture, South Australian Brewing company Duff beer cans became a hot collector's item among fans of The Simpsons.

The brewery, operated by the Duff family, “I have always thought the letter might come one day,” Mr. Duff said to Independent Newspapers.

In complying with Fox's wishes, the Duffs have rebranded their beverage “McDuffs.” Fox, in response, has offered to help the brewery cover some of the costs of replacing labels and other promotional materials.

When asked for his thoughts on the matter, Mr. Duff expressed surprise rather than resentment, unclear on what all the fuss was about. “I have been amazed at how many Americans come in here and mention it. Grown adults, people in their 50s and 60s, and they all watch that programme,” Duff said. According to the report, Mr. Duff has only watched the show once, and concluded that it was rubbish.

 

[Regs]

Duffless

Anyone remember the episode where Homer skipped work to take a Duff Brewery tour? Homer gets arrested for D&D... Classic

Homer: [standing on one foot and singing "The Alphabet Song"] W, X, Y, and Z. Now I know my ABCs, won't you come and play with me.

Eddie: Flawless.

Lou: We also would have accepted, "tell me what you think of me."

Eddie: Well, I guess your free to...

Barney: Give him the breathalyzer!

Homer: Huh? [Eddie sticks it in Homer's mouth. It beeps]

Lou: You're under arrest!

Homer: D'oh!

 

[sensei_hanson]

Re: All of them are great...

Originally posted by sexualchocolate

And the one that was on last night -Homer tries to convince Bart not to be gay, but when they go to the Steel Worker's factory the lights go down low and the fruits come out....

"We work hard. We play hard."

"Hot stuff, comin' through..."

That's a great episode. Dedicated to the Steel Workers of America - keep reaching for that Rainbow!

 

[sensei_hanson]

From the Simpsons go to Australia episode - Homer picks up a phone bill and sees the charges from Bart's prank-calls.

Homer: Burkina Faso? Disputed Zone? Who called all these weird places?

Brain: Quiet, it might be you! I can't remember.

Homer: Naw, I'm going to ask Marge.

Brain: No, no! Why embarrass us both? Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins.

Homer scribbles a check, then sighs with pleasure.

 

[SC]

BTW

those damn toilets DON'T flush the other way one cannot tell the way the water goes on only a half flush

The kid goes to the next property to find out (quite far in the outback as I can remember)-cracker

 

[Keeper]

I can still hear it ringing in my head . . .

"Dental plan! . . . . Lisa needs braces. . . . . Dental Plan! . . . Lisa needs braces. . . . Dental plan!"

 

[Keeper]

Wacking Day

Homer: "It was like the time when I hit the referee with the wiskey bottle. . . . [in a sweet voice] Remember when Daddy hit the referee with the wiskey bottle?"
Lisa: "Yeah."
Homer: "Yeah."

 

[Keeper]

Homer goes to college

Nerd: Come on, Mr. Simpson, you'll never pass this course if you don't know the periodic table.
Homer: Ehh, I'll write it on my hand.
Nerd: Including all known lanthanides and actinides? Ha, ha! Good luck.

 

[Notty]

Scenario…Lord of the Flies!

Millhouse is caught stealing the food rations, the entire group is chasing him Lisa and Bart through the jungle with war paint on there faces making Indian noises…out pops Ralph Wiggim from behind a bush with a black nose and wiskers and says “MEOW MEOW”

More Ralph Quotes:

1. “Miss Hoover…My cats breath smells like cat food!”
2. “Miss Hoover…I ate my eraser!”
3. “I Choo…Choo…Choooooose you!”
4. “I’m from Canada…EH!”

Ralph: Miss Hoover…
Miss Hoover: Ralph, if this is about your cat…we don’t want to hear it!
Ralph: Oh! (Discouraged)

Abadee abadee thats all folks

~Notty

 

[Hands of Stone]

Major League Baseball Episode

Bart is on Focussen, and it is first thing in the morning.

Marge: How are you feeling this morning.

Bart: I am having some side effects from the dope.
My testicles have swollen up.

Marge: Take those oranges from out of your pants!

Marge takes the oranges from Bart and puts one in each of Bart's and Lisa's lunch bag.

Lisa: Gross Mom!

Marge: Oh grow up.

HOShavingsideeffectsfromtheDOPE

 

[friedbread]

Garage Sale

homer pulls a box of old t-shirts out, and they read "IATOLLA ASSAHOLA"

 

[Yankee]

Pig-de-resistance

My favorite character, Chief Wiggum, is at Homer's for a barbecue.

When the roasted pig is brought out, Wiggum laughs:

"Ha ha ha! Look at his nose!"

 

[sillyrabbit]

Police Chief Wiggum

Wiggum and Mel Brooks

Wiggum ......

"you play Carl Reiner and I will play Police Chief Wiggum"


You have to love stupid Characters