sensei_hanson
New Member
I've met a fair share of people with horrific first names. Ones that make you wonder how many bananna peels their parents smoked at Skynard shows during those halcyon days of the 70s. This one poor sot I went to highscool with had the misfortune of being tagged Szabolcs (Sa-bol-ch) upon leaving his mother's womb. Normally I stray from mocking ethnic naming practices, until his younger brother enrolled in the same school. His name was Fred. Whatever process these parents used to run the naming gamut was obviously skewed, and I always figured they did it simply to engulf themselves in the paradoxical nature of naming one son after a Hungarian political leader and another after Barney Rubble's best friend.
I digress. This past week-end I heard the name "Keegan" being thrown about. I don't necessarily have a problem with the name itself - the kid could have been tagged with a (more) brutal name like Lance or Garth or Dante and would probably have been duct-taped to a locker for most of his high-school career. But this led me to fears that in 10-15 years, I will be hearing North Van soccer moms yelling for little Beckham to stop playing with the jesus fish emblem on the back of the Explorer.
This, to me, is a problem. My guess is that little Becks will be so tired of hearing the question "You mean Beckham, like the soccer player?" that his standard response will be "no, I mean like Beckham the astrophysicist, you dozy cnut." This will probably become a regularity by the age of 15 (kids will be much more bitter in the future). Given the fact your namesake was making millions and rooting a Spice Girl while you were in the midst of an unimpressive stint at community college, the name "Beckham" probably wasn't as cool as yer old man figured it would be when you were 10 minutes old.
And it's almost a foregone conclusion that this wave of misfortune is approaching. I can't think of another athlete with as much global exposure, and my general lack of faith in humanity leads me to believe that several thousands will be enamored with the "originality" of such a concept. Is it too late? Will my pointless rant save a future generation of children from being called "Becks" for short? You can always go with the present option:
Just name your kid Mike, like everybody else does, and get on with it.
I digress. This past week-end I heard the name "Keegan" being thrown about. I don't necessarily have a problem with the name itself - the kid could have been tagged with a (more) brutal name like Lance or Garth or Dante and would probably have been duct-taped to a locker for most of his high-school career. But this led me to fears that in 10-15 years, I will be hearing North Van soccer moms yelling for little Beckham to stop playing with the jesus fish emblem on the back of the Explorer.
This, to me, is a problem. My guess is that little Becks will be so tired of hearing the question "You mean Beckham, like the soccer player?" that his standard response will be "no, I mean like Beckham the astrophysicist, you dozy cnut." This will probably become a regularity by the age of 15 (kids will be much more bitter in the future). Given the fact your namesake was making millions and rooting a Spice Girl while you were in the midst of an unimpressive stint at community college, the name "Beckham" probably wasn't as cool as yer old man figured it would be when you were 10 minutes old.
And it's almost a foregone conclusion that this wave of misfortune is approaching. I can't think of another athlete with as much global exposure, and my general lack of faith in humanity leads me to believe that several thousands will be enamored with the "originality" of such a concept. Is it too late? Will my pointless rant save a future generation of children from being called "Becks" for short? You can always go with the present option:
Just name your kid Mike, like everybody else does, and get on with it.
