Go Canucks Go!

[Notty]

It's many years from now and Toronto Maple Leafs goalie Curtis Joseph has passed away and gone to heaven. At the pearly gates, Curtis is personally greeted by God and escorted to his new home. Curtis' house is large with a beautiful driveway and landscaped grounds. Several St. Louis Blues, Edmonton Oilers and Toronto Maple Leafs flags hang in the windows in his honour.
As they are about to walk up the driveway, Curtis notices a mansion to the right.
The house is quite impressive, much more so than his own. The driveway is made up of blue, red, silver and white flagstones, there is a flagpole flying a Vancouver Canucks flag, blue, red, silver and white curtains hang in the windows and so on.
Perplexed, Curtis asks; "God, why is it that I have played for my country, made it to the Conference finals on more than one occassion, played so many more years in the NHL and won so many more games, yet Dan Cloutier has a more impressive house than I do?"
God looks at him and laughs. "That's not Cloutier's house...it's mine!"

 

[zenga]

I heard the same one but with Osgood!!!

Everyday in the Province they have the joke of the day.

 

[knvb]

and the weather.

 

[Notty]

and the weather.

Classic!!

 

[Dapotayto]

Little Johnny was in his nursery class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, etc... Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some screaming fag and take it up the ass."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "he plays defence for the Minnesota Wild, but I was too embarrassed to say".

 

[Notty]

The ironic thing is that all Minnesota has is defence! BORING HOCKEY!