Maritime humor

[Dude]

A couple is attending an Art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black,very naked men sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.

The couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the artist walks by and says, "Can I help you with this painting? I'm the artist who painted it."

The man says "Well, we like the painting but don't understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis,while the other two have a black penis."

The artist says, "Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They're not African men, they are Cape Breton coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch."

 

[Demolition]

A National Poetry Contest had come down to 2 semifinalists; a Yale
graduate and a Newfoundlander. They were given a single word, they were allowed
two minutes to come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they
were given was "TIMBUKTU." First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate.

He stepped up to the microphone and said:
"Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination - TIMBUKTU."

The crowd went crazy! No way could the Newfie top that, they thought.

The Newfie calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went,
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one and TIMBUKTU."


The Newfie won hands down.

 

[gong show]

There was a terrible car accident in Newfoundland this week. A pick up truck went off a bridge and into the icy water below. The driver managed to get out o.k. and swim to shore, but his two friends in the back drown trying to get the tail gate down.......