Mythical Match-up #7 CDK vs Johnny Sulentic

[Jinky]

Mythical Match-up #7

It's the twist you saw coming a mile away. Like every bad gladiator or boxing movie, the protaganist is forced to kill his beloved pal. Spock versus Kirk it is.

Prediction,

CDK comes out raring to do damage but is stopped in his tracks when he realises he is incapable of hitting his dearest friend. He is frozen solid, a sitting duck.

Sulentic vaguely recognizes his opponent as that sloppy drunk from several Octoberfests at the Croatian Cultural Centre who constantly pestered him about nogomet while he was trying pick up chicks. Johnny gets stuck in and pounds on a helpless CDK who can't see the punches coming because his eyes are full of tears. "Anyone but Johnny" he thinks to himself as he crashes to the canvas, "anyone but Johnny."

 

[CDK]

I know why you picked Johnny.

There's a TTP-wide hue and cry to destroy CDK. That played a big part in this decision. Another well-publicized highly administrative high-tech lynching of a famous Croat.

Well, you'll be disapointed to know that The Glory is the issue to me. Friends come and go, but a legacy stays forever. I hate to lose.

This is how it will probably go.

CDK: "Let's dance around for the first couple of rounds then in the 3rd round I'll let you knock me down."
Johnny Sulentic: "Sounds good CDK. When do you get to knock me down?"
CDK: "Anytime I feel like it."

Basically it's a death sentence for him, really.

 

[Jinky]

I don't care what you do as long as you carry the golden boy for at least a half dozen rounds okay?

Most of these match-ups have been total blow outs and i suppose that's my fault. I'll try a new angle.

BTW, voters, CDK has a bad knee so take that into account when you pick a winner.

 

[CDK]

Also take into account that CDK was a former member of the Queensborough Boxing Club where his four day a week training sessions included a 5 mile run, 100 chin-ups, 500 sit-ups, 500 push-ups and 20 minutes of shadow boxing just for the warm-up.

Johnny Sulentic is a great soccer player but, I'm pretty. I'm soo pretty that you can shoot me into the sky and I'd turn into sunshine. I have more power in my right hook than Roberto Carlos has in his left peg.

 

[knvb]

Sulentic's a poof. This one is sssssssssooooooooo fffffffuuuuuuuucccccccckkkiiiiinnnnnnggggggggg eeeeeeeaasssssssyyyyyyyy CD in 4

 

[Fastshow]

...........

Just to satiate Reg's appetite for PC nonsense let me preface this by saying that, despite the fact I've never met el Sulentic, I'm positive he's a lovely person and does a great deal for charidee.

CDK in 15 seconds. It will take him that long as a result of the weight of the Oxford Unabridged Dictionnary he tucks into his Lonsdales. I reckon those Christened Johnny at birth should revert to the more traditional 'John' after the age of 16. Unless he's really short. Like Toddy Buckfast.

 

[CDK]

So far, The Golden Boy is doing what's expected of him, bleeding from the nose, standing there making a target of himself.

I can only see it going one way, that's my way.

I'm not liking this at all. A champion shows who he is by what he does when he's tested. I'm not being fcuken tested!

 

[Jinky]

Finish him off then.

If you go to double digits without Johnny gaining anymore votes then I will assume that you have put him out of his misery. If not, then I will assume that the golden boy is still defending himself.

Simple.

 

[CDK]

He's not defending himself. I have dropped my hands and am letting him hit me. He has no power.

You could have done a better job promoting this fight. Why don't we just stop this? It's boring.

There's a little bug named Sensei Hanson I have to step on.

 

[Guinness]

Disqualification

Johnny "Cry Baby" Sulentic will moan and squeel to the ref about CDK picking on him and hacking him... to quote the wee tit himself "He's playing too rough and won't pass me the ball"... the ref steps in after the 2nd round and calls the fight... his disqualification of the Cry Baby is due to his ears were beginning to bleed from all the whine drooling out of his bucket... (to quote referee Alec Bell) "the wee tart just couldn'i shut his gub"!!!

 

[sensei_hanson]

Taken you a while to retort, hasn't it little man?

I'm gonna be on you like white on rice. What sort of opposition can Sulentic really provide you? He probably has a tissue man in his corner for the waterworks show he puts on between rounds. If you really wanted to get in shape for the inevitable whooping you're going to receive, you should have picked a more formidable pre-fight opponent.

I thought I'd be nice and offer you this link. You can pre-order anything you need so it'll be ready for your release from hospital.

http://www.state.ar.us/ascc/fact23.html

Did Jinko tell you we're fighting in Little Rock? Perfect, really.

-Sensei.

 

[CDK]

Listen,

My right hand is thunder, my left hand lighting and I'm going to rain punches on that soft, feminine body of yours. I'm a fcuking storm, Boy, and there's no cover inside that squared circle for you to hide.

I'm the Master of disaster, the King of sting. I'm going to beat your ass all over that ring.

 

[sensei_hanson]

The "CD" Kid

 

[knvb]

That's CD

I thought this was CD.....

 

[CDK]

Sensei,

You're a wanker.

Find yourself a girlfriend.

 

[Jinky]

I'd love to make this fight happen but Johnny appears to be rallying.

What a shame it would be the CD Kid was defeated because he was looking ahead to a lucrative grudge match against Sensei "the beast" Hanson instead of putting Croatia SC's finest in the hospital.

 

[Jinky]

Neck and neck with one day left.

Can CD hold on or will Johnny pass him?

We'll see.

 

[Jinky]

The CD Kid barely holds on for a close decision over Johnny Sulentic.

Despite the scare, the "Kid" moves on to the next round.

Congratulations.