Mythical Match-Ups Weigh-ins

[Jinky]

Use this thread to match up any two people, no matter what their weights are. By use of a poll [that will hopefully be set-up by a moderator or Premium Member], piss-takers can determine the victor.

An explanation for one's choice would be appreciated.

 

[CDK]

Don Jinky King,

I would like to be matched up against somebody in a mythical match-up. I can't be matched up against just anybody ofcourse, for I am educated in the art of pugilism. Uhm scratch that....I AM THE GREATEST!

No, I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest! Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am. I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my bedroom and was in bed before the room was dark. I "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

So, who would you recomend I be matched up against?

KNVB? Nah, he is so ugly he should donate his face to the Bulgarian Bureau of Wild Life.

Jimmy Holiday? I know what you're thinking, he even dreams of beating me he'd better wake up and apologize.

Sensei Hanson? they couldn't find a mouthpiece big enough.

Give me a contender and not a pretender. I'm a Champ and I don't want to fight some Bum.


Sweet as sugar, fine as wine
CDK

 

[Jinky]

You got it.

 

[sensei_hanson]

They call me Kid NyQuil. I put heads to bed.

You've got a better chance of seeing God than you do in the ring against me. Once you're done with Twinkle Toes Sulentic, tell Rock Mannion to talk to my people.

Here is some pre-fight smack for ya:

"CDK is so fat his blood type is Ragu. I'll beat him so bad, he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on."

"CDK too ugly to fight me. He the beast, I'm the beauty. I'll make it my civic duty to kick that booty. I'm a mean man. I'm so mean I make medecine sick."

 

[CDK]

So little Sensei Hanson wants a piece of the Sexy One, eh? I think I'll give everybody a present and drop this chump.

You're gonna feel pain boy. Pain in spots you thought you never thought you had! I'm gonna hit you so hard the RCMP will stop you for speeding in Kamloops. I'm gonna knock you out so bad your clothes will be out of style when you wake up.

 

[sensei_hanson]

Oh good, Christmas came early. I'll ruin my surprise and let you know I got you a facefull of canvas this year. Mixed in with a pint of your own blood and a bag of your teeth, it'll be a festive season nobody (in your family) will soon forget. Hopefully the nurses will let someone decorate the ICU for you.

PS - I already provided the Sun and Province an obituary for a "CDK". They refused to run the one for "Comatose Bag of Mucus". You owe me 35 bucks.

 

[Jimmy Holiday]

Forget Sensei

Capi Di Katz

There is one man that strikes fear in you and that's Big Bobby T,he's back and ready for a challenge.

And to all the 4 pukie Unicorns,be afraid,be very afraid!He wants all you punks in the ring at the same time for a handicap match!



BIG BOBBY T IS BACK

 

[Regs]

Please ask him to leave his baseball bat at home this time

~TB.

 

[knvb]

HOS is done. I'm eating more than ever to move up a weight class. When I get there I want Rangerforever! If I'm going to fight a heavy weight lets make it the HEAVIEST weight of all.

Fcuking guy gives away my valley rights for nothing!? He shall pay!

KickingRangersassforever, The Dutch Destroyer.

 

[Hands of Stone]

Fatest Skinny Guy in the League

knvb, you have to bulk up a lot to get into my weight class.

HOShasForemansGrill

 

[Jinky]

Announcing,

The first TTP Ring-King Championship.

Within the next week or so, we will have amassed 16 winners in various competitions. These 16 will be matched to fight eventually leaving 8, then 4, then 2, then 1. This is why it is important for all participants not to look past their current match to a future bout.

Five more match-ups are required. TTPers may either PM fighter suggestions to me or post them here.

TIA

 

[CDK]

Irish Stephen Burns vs. Sexual Coco

Fastshow's Peg Oly's vs. Dazza's 'Rear Action' Meralomas

A Killer Whale vs. A Great White Shark

Ghostrider vs. Jonsey

Regs vs. Gregor

WAB & Reccos vs. A 12yr old Girl

Celtic vs. The Taliban

That's all I can think of for now...

 

[Fastshow]

prize twat....

Jinks,

How about I.D.G.A.F. BABY! against Bizarro I.D.G.A.F. BABY! and a gay farmer doing deep knee bends in a cucumber patch (copyright Buckfast, 2002)?

Or not. It's your party. I'm still waiting to hear whether you think I should get a dog to carry or not.

 

[SC]

CDK could you imagine?

Capt'n Crunch losing to a girl?

You might just have to call him The Irish Breeze , because a breeze is what Sexualchocolate will be feeling as el Capitano passes by on his way to the canvas

 

[knvb]

Screw you Captain vs. Captain Shamrock.
Regs vs. I-tie thread
Notty vs. WAB
SC vs. Jimmy Holiday
Smiles vs. Metro Ford
Reccos vs. Dude where's my corner

 

[Rangerforever]

I swear to God, I truly don't know what life was like before TTP.

You lot make me laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh....
Fcuking piss-taking man.

Jinky: until you posted the link on the "Silence" thread, I had no idea any of this existed until today.
KNVB's profile didn't even register.
Sorry for being such a rookie-greenhorn.
Too fcuking funny.

In that.....

Leeeeeeettttt's Get Ready to Ruuuuuummmmble!!!!!

In this corner:
Weighing in at a paltry 135, he's the Vank of the VMSL, the Metro League Matchstick (note the phosphorous red top), The Squarehead less the grey matter, He's: KNVB....

Cue The Proclaimers "500 miles" (Who to everyone's delight are not KNVB times two)

In this corner:
Weighing in at, well you know, he's 240 Gordy, The Man of Spam, He's the Pride of Ibrox, He's:RRRRRangerFooooorever!!!!!

Nae fcuking bother, nae fcuking chance.

 

[CDK]

Get Sensei "house boy" Hanson into a match with someone. If the 'trollop' wants a peice of me he has to prove that he can beat someone first. I suggest you put him up against a little know fighter with little stamina and glass jaw. Just to see how he does.

 

[Jinky]

No shite Sherlock,

that's pretty much the plan.

 

[Buckfast]

Pride Parade

Based on CDK's request, let's have the:

Battle of Vebal Diarrhea

or

Handbags at the Law Firm


Fastshow v Sensei????

 

[sensei_hanson]

Seedy McNeely,

This is a classic example of a poor, fat, unattractive fighter dodging the bout that will place him in Zagreb's finest physical rehabilitation clinic. While I understand you don't fancy the idea of having some male nurse re-teach you how to tie your shoes, delaying this fight will only break down your fragile psyche even more. And given the number of bones I plan to break, you really should keep that psyche in tip top shape. For the rehab, you see.

Sadly, I do realize that there is a process that even I must go through. Thus, I will do my best to make quick work of my warmup opponent. His identity has not yet been revealed by Rock Mannion.

So suck down another protein shake, begin the long waddle up to the fantasy ring, and prepare to live the rest of your life wearing a hockey helmet.

-Sensei.