Occupations

[the manager]

Two guys and a city worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?"

"Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years.

The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight.

Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.

When Jesus turned to heal the city worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."


couldn't resist!

 

[Gurps]

Manager, that didn't take very long!

 

[Red Dragon]

Originally posted by Regs
Define good money.

~Regs.

Regs...you know, it's the KWAN...the ability to roam about TTP with the time and freedom of let's say, knvb without having to actually work (physically nor mentally). Maybe I should just do like Kramer and retire to Florida early. It was easy for him on Seinfeld so why not?.. oh yeah...I'll become a LOBSTER

 

[gong show]

Vegas baby!!!

Just put in an application for a job in sin city...Las Vegas....

Seigfred and Gong Show..... Sound Good???

Fingers crossed......

 

[Hands of Stone]

I thought I saw a Puddy Cat

This is what Gong Show has to look forward to.

http://www.933flz.com/audio/SiegfriedRoyTiger.gif

hos

 

[Stepchild]

hands of god

the manager

"Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years.

Insert Stepchild where Jesus is and you have my job.
Tables set, TR now is your chance! Dude, you too.

 

[Hands of Stone]

Pussy's

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The

first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the

third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat,

"Tsquare, do your stuff."

Tsquare pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a

pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.



But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called

his cat and said,

"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a

dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies

each.

Everyone agreed that was good.



But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his

cat and said,

"Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart

of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly

8 ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good.



Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and

said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his

cat and said,

"Coffee Break, do your stuff."



Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the

milk, shite on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he

injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for

unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers' Compensation and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

hos

 

[MILLSY]

Distraught!

I was so offended by that last comment about goverment workers that I was going to have to take a 1/2 day ETO for stress leave. I then realized that I was already on a 1 week leave for mental regrouping from undo stress in the workplace and at home. Oh how I love life at the "Board".

 

[striker14]

I got a doozie for ya...

I see Dead People

I work in a Funeral Home...I sell Plots

any buyers?

 

[the manager]

cough...cough...how much for a...cough,...cough, 3x6 plot? hhhurrragghhh....i think i just lost my spleen...cough

 

[Spazz]

Hey Striker14

We should hook you & the Stepchild up so when he snaps people's necks wrong their families can get a deal on a hole in the ground for them!

Spazz

GladStephchild'sLiabilityInsuranceisn'tthroughme......

 

[striker14]

ha ha ha...

3x6 plot...hmmm...that narrows it down to EVERY SINGLE ONE WE HAVE....lemme get back to you

Spazz...I like them alive...not dead or crippled, remember? Higher commission baby

 

[striker14]

By the way Spazz...

Change your team name, eh?
No more Canoe Bumpers...I mean, uh...Hyacks (???) for you!!

 

[Stepchild]

Spazz' next appointment

BTW spazz, don't you have an appointment with me tomorrow.
Stepchild still looking for his first malpractice suit, maybe sexual misconduct!

 

[glasgow ghirl]

misconduct

If there's sexual misconduct, can you book me BEFORE her!

Glasgow Ghirl

 

[Stepchild]

OK

Done and done, perhaps at the same time.
I'll bring my bendy pen

 

[PNE]

Believe it or not ; I work for an optical company making
eye-glasses. I am currently making glasses for all the other referees so that they can see the game better.
Or maybe I should make them for the coaches & players so that they can read the laws of the game

 

[steve1234]

Occupation

I'm a cosmetic surgeon. Glasgow gurl, striker, and spazz,i think we should talk.

 

[the manager]

Originally posted by PNE
Believe it or not ; I work for an optical company making
eye-glasses. I am currently making glasses for all the other referees so that they can see the game better.
Or maybe I should make them for the coaches & players so that they can read the laws of the game

really...i would have thought you worked at the PNE

 

[striker14]

Attn: Steve 1234

Originally posted by steve1234
I'm a cosmetic surgeon. Glasgow gurl, striker, and spazz,i think we should talk.

What is that supposed to mean?