Quotes, Slags, and other worldly piss takes

[Regs]

STAM SLAMS OWEN'S 'BOY WONDER' TAG

Dutch defender Jaap Stam has thrown down the gauntlet ahead of the friendly clash with England by questioning the quality of Liverpool striker Michael Owen at international level.

The Manchester United star makes the outburst in his autobiography 'Head to Head', due to be published next week but currently being serialised in The Mirror.

Stam says: "In this country everyone believes that the Boy Wonder can do no wrong. I find the hype surrounding him a little over the top.

"He was hailed as world class when he broke on to the scene with that amazing goal against Argentina in the World Cup.

"There's no doubt he's a fantastic striker, who has great strength in his ability to run at defences with that pace.

"But opponents such as England's Euro 2000 rivals have learned to combat that by dropping off him, ensuring there isn't the space behind them for him to attack.

"Without that option, he loses much of his potency. He's not such a big threat when people play balls into the channels for him to latch on to.

"I am not saying he is a bad player, but his first touch isn't the greatest.

"As a defender, you will know a player's particular weakness, and with Owen you try to get him out on his left side.

"If you do that, you feel there's time to get in a tackle or block before he has total control of the ball and is ready to set himself up for a shot."

When the two meet up, Owen will no doubt be quick to remind Stam that it was his slip which let in the striker to score Liverpool's second goal in Sunday's 2-1 Charity Shield win over United.

 

[Keeper]

Hitzfeld warns against Hargreaves England debut

Bayern coach Ottmar Hitzfeld told Sven Goran Eriksson yesterday not to give his young midfielder Owen Hargreaves an England debut tonight.

Nicky Butt's withdrawal from the squad for the friendly with Holland at White Hart Lane made Hargreaves' elevation to the full side even more likely but Hitzfeld thinks it is too soon for the 20-year-old.

Hitzfeld said: 'We have to be careful with Owen and if Sven Goran Eriksson picks him tonight, it will be a mistake.

'He is a confident boy and a very good young player but it is too soon for him to be playing senior international football.'

While the Canada-born Hargreaves' call-up was seen by most as a welcome end to any uncertainty over which country he might represent, his club manager viewed it as a rash decision by Eriksson.

'I am not happy about the prospect of Owen facing Holland. There is a danger it could damage him psychologically.

He has come from nowhere and when you think of the pressure situations this inexperienced boy has suddenly had to cope with in the past six months, adding the glare of a full international debut on top of it all would be just too much.'

Ironically, it was Hitzfeld who gave Hargreaves a more prominent role last season as Bayern won a Bundesliga and Champions League double. But he insisted he had the player's interests at heart.

'Everyone may be talking about him but don't forget he has played only a handful of games in the Bundesliga and Champions League.'

Sounds like Hitzfeld is hoping Hargreaves will still qualify to play for Germany after he's lived there for three years.

 

[CDK]

I just saw this in a Soccernet article...it has to be a classic quote for the Celtic support.

"'Juventus will be strong favourites to win the group, but 13 months ago we were just trying to thwart Rangers. To be in this company is just brilliant. "

I think it was Martin O'Neil...

 

[Buckfast]

Fasty-esque...

For your reference, that includes all of you bar Keeper as it maybe a little too racey, this fella from Football365 writes a great round-up of the weekends events in the Premiership:

http://www.football365.com/You_Say_We_say/Howard_Johnson/story_4191.shtml

Carry on.

 

[Keeper]

Earlier today, I came across a funny bit between Ali G and Posh & Becks for some comedy fund raiser in the UK. It's a bit over 20 megs, but for those interested in nabbing it off me feel free to PM me so I can get it to you somehow.

Otherwise, you may want to try getting it from Morpheus -- that's how I got it.

It's extremely funny and well worth the download.

 

[Guinness]

Celebrity sighting

In the late hours of Saturday evening October 20th, a celebrity was spotted on Granville Street. The odd thing about it is he was not in disgise and was actually lined up to get into World renowned Fred's Uptown Tavern. Legend has it he refused special treatment of bypassing the line up with his 20 plus onterage. To quote the football superstar "I'm doing it for a laugh" in his response to the Holt Renfrew suit and attire he was donning. Captain, (as he is known by his adoring fans) was not spotted again for the rest of the evening. Bar manager and owner Wee Connor Fitzgerald had no comment to the sighting and refused to confirm either way if in fact the footy wizard had a table and a bottle of his favourite in his usual spot.

If anyone has any information in regards to this appearance you can contact us at pacificpress.bc.ca/celebrityskin.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Yes, it's true

Guinness,

I made it in eventually, completely sober at that point. After planting my $2000 suit and I on a chair, located in the northwest section of the dungeon, I decided to bypass the $5 bottles of beer and jump right into the pitchers of beer. It was quick but effective. I was escorted out by my adoring fans, walked to the limo, and called it a night. I must remember to never visit this establishment again.

I didn't notice a lot of talent there. Was I just in the wrong section?

Captain

 

[Guinness]

Captain

So the news report was true... WOW... yes it is a dungeon, however you missed the talent because you couldn't see past all of your adoring fans!!! the section in front of the dance floor had a bit more talent to offer... it's a good job you didn't venture over there, the ladies probably would have attacked you and ruined that Designer wear you were so eligantly supporting... Props to the the football maestro!!!

Ps. I have only been to Fred's twice and both times were because the Roxy was too busy... I probably won't rush back there... it's too bad you weren't with me outside the Roxy, with your status we could have mosied on in to the back bar and had Guinness pints all night long!!!

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Me too....

That was the second time I have been there, and most probably the last. The last time I was there, I was escorted out of the place too, but by two meatheads who felt that "Bouncerism" was a worthy profession .

We'll have to hook up some time soon, but not at the Roxy or Fred's......

Captain

 

[Guinness]

Number 100 (I'm now certified)

Yes we should hook up soon... how about a TTP night on the town... with your celebrity status you can get us into any bar and we can all take turns at buying Whataboutbob a pop!!! I'll let you get some feedback as to this if it is a good idea or what... after all you are TTP!!!

 

[Keeper]

I love it . . .

Sir Alex Ferguson has dismissed England's chances of winning the World Cup next summer because he claims that David Beckham and Michael Owen are the only world-class performers at their disposal. The Manchester United manager, assessing Europe's challenge in Korea and Japan, puts Italy and Spain ahead of resurgent England, but said: 'France are still head and shoulders above the rest.'

 

[hedkandi]

Is that a packet of crisps!

I found this and laughed,

"Now, what do I do? If I move, these shorts will split and everyone will see I use a packet of crisps to pad myself out"

 

[Buckfast]

Off the Runways of Goodison

That kit is a great fcukin' pisstake.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Classic....

That is funny. To think, I wore Bollock Huggers like that at one time.


Captain

 

[Regs]

I heard that's the kit Jinky wore Sunday night?

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Probably.....

but I don't recall.

 

[hedkandi]

Hey you there, carrying any concealed weapons?

...with or without the crips?

 

[Jinky]

Smoky Bacon.

 

[Keeper]

Stefan Effenberg

Re: Beckham

He made so many bad passes. If that had been me, the crowd would never have stopped booing. And he's supposed to be a candidate for 'World Footballer of the Year'? Give me a break!

 

[Buckfast]

Typical classless Kraut.

I am not a big fan of either player, but particularly Effenberg.

What a clown to critic Beckham in such a tongue, when he's captain of team who were should have lost the match. Furthermore, he was substituted. Fcuk off Effenberg, you motor mouthed twat.

Saint George Buckfast