Who Framed The Captain?

[Jinky]

As we all know, Fred's Uptown Tavern burnt down recently and the Captain is the prime suspect in this crime after the derogatory comments he directed towards this establishment were made, right here on this forum.

I think that he is merely a patsy and that someone on TTP has framed him.

I'd like to hear TTP'ers theories on who might have stiched the Captain up.

Thanks in advance for your help, a man's life is in the balance here.

 

[kurgan]

RUFC!!!

The parties that immediately come to mind are members of RIchmond United. They must be petrified that the Captain will soon be bringing another Richmond team into Div.1 - Obviously it is a ploy to keep Minoru and Friday nights.

Unless Indo or Sportstown is being extra sneaky...

 

[lean]

Kurgan??

Insinuating that RUFC would be smart enough not to burn ourselves down instead of the pub is a complement

I think maybe the captain should try the "I was temporarily loaded and can't remember anything" excuse, the only problem is the definition of temporarily might not apply!!

Jinky,

on a side note, sign me up for Kamploops

 

[Buckfast]

It was BeanBag. The lazy, rubenesque one hated walking the 2 1/2 blocks from Granville Entertainment HQ to pick-up the previous nights takings at Frederique's Taverna. So, the John Candy look-a-like torched it.

Fcukin' easy.

 

[knvb]

Where was guinness

Wasn't Guinness there? He was last seen having a go at our dear Captain somewhere in one of the soccer threads. Come to think of it he was bitching at training about the large line up's and how the Captain shot right in!

knvbthinksSurreyisagoodplacetostartlooking!

 

[Captain Shamrock]

On a side note....

Jinky,

Sign me up for Kamloops too.


CaptainwhoishopingtogetindivisiononetotryandtakeawayRUFC'sFridayNightschedule

BTW, I didn't do it.

 

[Fastshow]

Easy peasy Japanesey....

Buckfast is right. Since being made redundant by the gang of marauding child fiddlers who run Granville Entertainment and, as such, Fred's, Babalu's, and that minging hotel, Bin Beanbag had clearly had enough. Stitching up Burnsie was fully offside, however, when you consider that it was the left-footed maestro who once enabled Bin Beanbag to score a goal with his head. My Gran could have scored it but the fact remains that such an unselfish act of kindness should really not have been reciprocated with being put in a frame and labelled an arsonist. Seeing as Bin Beanbag plans on fleeing the country on Monday due to incessant begging from the Meralomas to join their fledgling cause, surely it's time the TTP fun police (keeper, Mr., Coppertone, and that big twat Sensei) should 'stand shoulder to shoulder' and place a call to interpol and shop Bin Beanbag for his crimes against humanity and blatant acts of terror. They should tell interpol about the arson too.

Arson about, Fastshow.

 

[sensei_hanson]

El Qua-Fastshow,

As the founding father of the TTP fun police, I must ask you to refrain from any references to Bin Laden and his terrorist regime. As we try to maintain a sense of peace and solidarity during these trying times, TTP would like to remain as anti-political as humanly possible until everybody is done bombing the living shite out of the middle east.

Also, the word "twat" isn't all that PC either.

-Sensei.

 

[Jinky]

Regs,

It looks as though there has a been a terrible breach of security here on TTP.

Somehow, someone has hacked into the most secure areas of the site and stolen Sensei's idendity. Exactly who, is yet another riddle but the previous post had "keeper" written all over it. I think we're getting closer to solving this mystery.

The real Sensei would never have posted "off-topic". I'm sure that he would have provided an opinion on "who framed the Captain".

 

[animal]

Loops

Jinky sign me up for Kamloops as well.

 

[Regs]

Hard evidence

I'm surprised most of you didn't catch Buckfast in his attempts to deflect attention.

It's quite obvious that Beanbag and Bucky have been planning this atrocity for years.

By staging an elaborate plan involving faux roommate dust-ups and subsequent verbal slandering that carried on for years, they certainly had most of us fooled. And picking the Captain as their initial scapegoat, what with his past niteclub indiscretions (see The Sidedoor), bordered on pure genius.

However, they slipped up by allowing themselves to be photographed together for the first time in years.

As you can see here in the picture below, taken moments after the fire was detected at the scene, Bucky and Beanbag attempted to blend into the crowd as they made their get-away down Granville towards Davie.

I know, I know... I wouldn't have believed it myself if someone tried to tell me the same story. But how can you argue with that picture as evidence?

So, we must now ask ourselves the following important question:

Why would Buckfast wear silver?

It really isn't his colour and does nothing for his figure.

~TB.

 

[Buckfast]

As the warrior-poet, Phil Collins, once sang...

"No reply at all".

Regs,

You have bewildered me with your brilliance to the point of silence, which most can attest to, is nearly impossible.

Well done, mate. Maybe you are not the boring, one-dimensional turnip they said you were.

Can we be pals, now that my plump, partner-in-crime is off to fetch his departed Greek lover, Fastropolous?

Looking forward to you reply,

Buckfast.

 

[handcannon]

worth a thousand words

I'm with Regs,

Buckfast has guilt written all over his face. Oops, erm sorry, that's just his tan.

After teaming up with Beanbaggio for a imppasioned evening of drinks, drugs, sex and arson. Their ongoing act of never being seen together, and their appearance of mutual dislike is merely a red herring. But I'm on the scent.

A street-level contact of mine just sent me this pic, clearly showing the last remnants of Bucky and Beanbag's sexy crime spree. Beanbag managed to escape the scene before the pic was taken, but clearly, we can see Buckfast celebrating the evening, the satisfaction of having just had his way with Beanie's rotund, whale-like anal blow-hole written clearly across his face.

Guilty.

Handy

 

[Buckfast]

I've got more hair on my chest then Regs has on his baldy slapheed.

 

[knvb]

I heard on Z9.......ah... one of those Fm stations they are going to hold a fund raiser for those who lost there job due to the Captains need to burn stuff.

Who is the numb nut who though of this? Of all the needy people in Vancouver and these obviously capable Bar tenders and waitress decide they have been so hard done by they (instead) of looking for new jobs want to hold a fund raiser for them selves.

Give me a break!

IsaytheCaptainshouldjustdonatehiswinningthisyeartothepoor bastards

 

[Regs]

not framed?

I take back what I said last year about Buckfast and Beanbag framing the Captain though the picture was authentic...

Isn't it suspicious that Babulu's that was above Fred's has now been replaced by an Irish Bar?

~Regs.

 

[SC]

Doolin's Irish Pub

I'll say, whatever/whomever decided to burn that place down did a good job restoring it. It's nice to see a "pub" downtown. The place is full of c*ck, which I like, but don't ever tap the waitress on the shoulder for a drink. She'll run off, tell the manager that you hurt her and whine like a grade 2 private school girl.

Oh yeah, the waitresses are built and dressed like grade 2 school girls.(If you like that sorta thing).

Ballbabylicious, the double vodka short on the rocks was only $7.50

I give the place a few ***s for trying.