Worst Xmas gift you had to open or assemble

[Sir M]

Captain is going to chastise me for sure for what I am about to write, but I am going to anyway as TTP is pretty slow at the moment, and the Luis Vuitton reference reminds me of this story:

Michael Ballack was playing for Bayern a couple of years back, and they went to play a friendly in Dubai. As any decent guy on a roadtrip will do, he decided to buy his wife a "guilt gift". So, he buys his wife a $4000 US purse (Lita, maybe you should dump your guy and hook up with Ballack). Anyway, he flies back to Germany, an has a couple of Schapps (or maybe like Burrzy, Jager-bombs). He, as a result, when asked at customs if he has anything to declare, forgets to declare the purse. German Customs finds the undeclared purse, and Ballack has to pay a fine as a result.

The kicker is, in Germany, Customs fines are based on a percentage of the offending person's annual income.

As a result, Ballack was fined $125,000.00 US for his oversight.

Lita, here you go:

 

[Dude]

OK...to get it somewhat back on topic...

I think every parent can relate to the presents our kids get from relatives / close friends. Almost always the toys require tons of fighting through packaging, or tons of assembly. At the end of the day, they are almost always one shot wonders that get used for a couple of days and forgotten.

The grandparents / relatives / friends don't like it, but we now have rules: no toys. We give them clothing sizes, and mandate nice stuff. Or, no gift. We're just fine w/ that.

We just make sure the kids get one really cool "Santa" present each...something they really want. The rest are all practical. Also, we're making it more of a tradition now to fcuk off over X-Mass to somewhere hot, and the kids get that vacations cost money. I think this year was the 4th over the past 6 or 7 years away. Kill three birds w/ one stone: X-Mass present for the fam, much needed wind-down time for all of us, and escaping our famllies, whom all have seemed to forgotten how to behave at Christmass anyhow.

Call me a prick, but fcuk them. My kids don't need to be around the BS, and neither do I.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

OK...to get it somewhat back on topic...

I think every parent can relate to the presents our kids get from relatives / close friends. Almost always the toys require tons of fighting through packaging, or tons of assembly. At the end of the day, they are almost always one shot wonders that get used for a couple of days and forgotten.

The grandparents / relatives / friends don't like it, but we now have rules: no toys. We give them clothing sizes, and mandate nice stuff. Or, no gift. We're just fine w/ that.

We just make sure the kids get one really cool "Santa" present each...something they really want. The rest are all practical. Also, we're making it more of a tradition now to fcuk off over X-Mass to somewhere hot, and the kids get that vacations cost money. I think this year was the 4th over the past 6 or 7 years away. Kill three birds w/ one stone: X-Mass present for the fam, much needed wind-down time for all of us, and escaping our famllies, whom all have seemed to forgotten how to behave at Christmass anyhow.

Call me a prick, but fcuk them. My kids don't need to be around the BS, and neither do I.

I hope you had a great Christmas, Ebeneezer.

Sir M - that's actually a funny story.

Lita, did you at least get the money value for the purse you turned down?

 

[Yoda]

Prick, that's totally was Christmas is about. It's not giving and receiving, it's practicallity!

Kids must really look forward to opening christmas presents after getting the big ticket item. "Let me guess, it's clothes again!"

How do you mandate nice stuff?
Do you have to do a pre-xmas inspection of the relatives gifts and give it a "yay" or a "nay", then send them back to the store to return it for something "nice"

We dont' spend much on our kids. 1 big gift each as well. Only because the grand and greatgrand parents get them enough stuff as it is.
Maybe we are spoiled cuz our kids love the clothes gifts as much as the toys.

But on topic of the thread. Setting up family computer/audio/video equipment sucks even more than having to set up my own stuff. It always comes with a certain degree of training which usually ends up being more of a pain than the setup.

 

[Dude]

Simple Yoda. When people ask, we tell them not required, but they do need some nice clothes. Or, honestly, nothing, because they'll be fine. A card is fine. Our kids are pretty fcuking lucky as it is.

And Captain...yes we did, thanks. As long as I have my kids around, and they have us around, we're happy. Everyone can relate to familly that seems to think Christmas is the perfect time to re-live old problems / grudges. Well, that's what certain siblings / cousins in our fams are like. Many years ago we said "Fcuk it, let's take off."

You know what? Great decison. Besides, the kids get to see how it's spent in other areas where it is a lot less commercial, and where familly / community gatherings are the real focus.

So...bah humbug, and happy hollidays.

 

[Dial 9-1-1]

Whenever people ask what to buy for the little one, I tell them a Home Depot gift card. He chews on it for an hour as we drive as a family to the HD, then he gets a fun ride in the buggy for a couple hours, and has a nice nap on the way home. Far more practical than a Leap Frog truck that plays annoying songs that you find yourself humming all day at work!

A Home Depot gift card is also a great investment since in 20 years or so he can have all the tools I bought "for him" over the years.

 

[trece verde]

Bah freakin' humbug...

For once I agree with Dude (write it on your calendar, Surrey Boy). If you can afford it, give the offspring the gift of travel, and encourage them to ask questions about how the rest of the world does things. Take the commercialism out of the equation as best as you can for whatever your family celebrates.

More topical:

Gift from hell this year was the nephew's mp3 player, bought by another relative. Took 2 hours after discovering that the device driver supplied with it by the manufacturer were shite to find working ones, and that only after finding that it wouldn't work with XP and only functioned when connected to a Vista box.... This one even had Daemonspawn #1 stumped (ever seen an electronic device that even a 14 year old can't figure out?)..

Then again, as the individual in the family/neighbourhood/company who has to do the RTFM thing all the time to bail out everybody else, this kind of work never truly seems to go away...

Trece

 

[Kevin Hector]

I kind of Agree with Dude. you can pick your friends but you're stuck with your family. hope you guys had a merry Christmas (the none commercial kind)

 

[bulljive]

Simple Yoda. When people ask, we tell them not required, but they do need some nice clothes. Or, honestly, nothing, because they'll be fine. A card is fine. Our kids are pretty fcuking lucky as it is.

And Captain...yes we did, thanks. As long as I have my kids around, and they have us around, we're happy. Everyone can relate to familly that seems to think Christmas is the perfect time to re-live old problems / grudges. Well, that's what certain siblings / cousins in our fams are like. Many years ago we said "Fcuk it, let's take off."

You know what? Great decison. Besides, the kids get to see how it's spent in other areas where it is a lot less commercial, and where familly / community gatherings are the real focus.

So...bah humbug, and happy hollidays.

Dude, my parents took my brother and I on vacations at Christmas 3 times in my childhood. Best 3 Christmas' memories I have ever had.

 

[Yoda]

Out of curiousity, where'd you go this Christmas Dude?

Honestly. Christmas is cheaper to buy gifts than go on holidays. Not like we're rolling in the dough. Wish we could though.

 

[freddy]

well, this is a little off topic, but hey, if a thread doesn't wander every so often, what is the point, really?

About 12 years ago, I was living in Calgary. I was dating this amazon chick with big hooters and lots of capabilities. It was mostly a physical relationship, and that was okay with me. I had to come back to Vancouver for Christmas to be with my family and she stayed at home with hers. I thought to myself, what is the best gift I could give her, with a sense of humor, that would help her out as I traveled? Of course, as we all know, the answer is a vibrator. So, I went to the best sex shop in town, and got her the deluxe pink gelatin, multi-speed cadillac of vibrators. I wrapped it up and left it with her.

Now comes the funny part. I figured she was going to open it up about as soon as I left, but she kept it for Christmas, and opened it up in front of her whole family (who I hadn't met, and since decided not to). She phoned me on Christmas day and I am certain she invented a few new swear words about what a cnut I am.

 

[Sir M]

Classic Freddy, even if it is Bshite.

Merry Christmas.

 

[Dude]

That's a wicked story! I have a buddy who did the exact same thing several years back. Ended up marrying the bird, though.

Yoda: ended up in Cabo San Lucas this year. In years past, I'll fully admit, we've spent a lot. It is something we kind of save for and prioritize. Plus, when business is good, we reward ourselves for a job well done. We like travelling. This year it simply wasn't in the cards; given the whole state of the economy, we're actually trying to keep as much money in the company as possible. Like everyone, holding on to our cash in anticipation of the 6 month bath we're about to take (actually, taking...but another topic again).

The opportunity came up to be a guest at a time share, so we ended up w/ this great place for next to nothing (less than $200 for 7 days, plus an extra $400 for two more). Our costs were flights (found cheap tickets, and used some airmiles for one) and ground costs. We figure we may have spent a little more than we would have had we not gone away, but not much.

Gotta say though...Cabo is NOT a cheap place to go to. Nice, and like all Mexican places, the people are great and I always feel very safe there...but I was suprised at how expensive it was pretty much anywhere in town. Best two days were renting a car to drive 45 minutes up the #1 to a secluded surf town, where we ran into a bunch of hippies who'd travelled down from Vancouver Island.

Liked it, surfing was OK, likely won't return though.

 

[Ballbaby]

well, this is a little off topic, but hey, if a thread doesn't wander every so often, what is the point, really?

About 12 years ago, I was living in Calgary. I was dating this amazon chick with big hooters and lots of capabilities. It was mostly a physical relationship, and that was okay with me. I had to come back to Vancouver for Christmas to be with my family and she stayed at home with hers. I thought to myself, what is the best gift I could give her, with a sense of humor, that would help her out as I traveled? Of course, as we all know, the answer is a vibrator. So, I went to the best sex shop in town, and got her the deluxe pink gelatin, multi-speed cadillac of vibrators. I wrapped it up and left it with her.

Now comes the funny part. I figured she was going to open it up about as soon as I left, but she kept it for Christmas, and opened it up in front of her whole family (who I hadn't met, and since decided not to). She phoned me on Christmas day and I am certain she invented a few new swear words about what a cnut I am.

That's pretty funny! It reminds me of a funny time at the fire station. One of the guys brought all his presents in to work to wrap. The most beautifully wrapped gift was one for his high maintenance wife. When he was out on a call, I (with a little help from some crewmates) carefully unwrapped the gift and I ran upstairs to one of the lockers (very dependable supply at this particular hall) and grabbed a dirty pair of underwear from one of the guys and threw it in the box with the sexy lingerie intended for his wife. We carefully rewrapped the gift and anxiously waited for our post Christmas day shift to begin. There was no need to wait as I got the call right on Christmas day. Now, it can get pretty confusing listening to someone yell/laugh/stutter/cry over the phone, especially when you hear a female voice screaming in the background. One thing you learn very quick is deny, deny, deny.

Another thing you learn very quick is retribution is as certain as the sun rises and sets.