D.C.S. Weekly Rankings

[knvb]

Here are the real rankings as previously discussed. The rankings are based on win/losses over the last three weeks like it or not, I don't care. We can discuses the new ranking system on Wednesday. Sounds like there may be a good turnout and some quality players. That is if Scud doesn't show.


#1. Double In 16 - 6 in two outings. What more needs to be said about the most dominate force since the Executioners retirement.

#2. One Dart - 14 -10 Still can't beat the Current D.C.S #1 on a consistent basis. He only ever beats his punching bag for a brother, but who doesn't.

#3. Sidewinder 13 -14 What once was found is now lost. The spawning salmon and fluttering union Jack flights can't find the mark. He scores amazingly well when he aims at treble 20. The 18 slot has never been so well used.

#4. Tilly 5 - 1 Only one night out for Tilly and he shot a deceivingly good 5-1, but this was on the same night that Bradedart went 4-1. So how good could the rest of the guys been?

#5. The Power 11 - 22 Played the most and there for lost the most. You would think anyone who has played 33 matches in three weeks would be able to hit the board at least once with three darts, but not The Power who is and forever will be, haunted with a score of Zero

#6. Bravedart 5 - 4 Needs a new lucky sweater. Hasn't been the same since summer rolled around.

#7. Putz

#8. Putz

#9. Putz

#10. Scud 3 -6 He just stinks, really.

 

[One Dart]

Check again...

For one, if we are at the Buck on wednesday then there will be no rib and wing combo's but hopefully some service that isn't shoc-king. On that note, if Janina is there you can ask her if her beemer is in repose (The act of taking rest or the state of being at rest) or as I believe you were trying to say, being R E P O S S E S S E D . Come on DI, I don't even have a degree yet but I can still correct your errors. Alarming really that one can hold down a job but be unable to tell the difference between two very different words.

 

[Jinky]

Ouch.

 

[Screw You Captain]

see you weds.

I should be reposed enough to bring my two and a half degrees to whoop your sorry asses.

I've said it before; I'll say it again. OD, you've got no business correcting anybody's grammar. Enjoy class tomorrow

 

[One Dart]

As of September Scud, that will be Mr. OD to my ENGLISH students.

theywon'tknowwhathit'em

 

[knvb]

I didn't know you were German...

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Was there ever a doubt?

1) Tilly "The Tornado" Tompkins

2) Putz
3) Putz
4) Putz
5) Putz
6) Putz
7) Putz
8) Putz


I did warn you about this.......

 

[knvb]

Singles

The last three weeks have been eventful to say the least here's how the Stats faired. Give or take....

1. Tilly "The Tornado" Tompkins - As much as it pains me he was statistically the best player on the D.C.S. tour during the first 3 weeks of the month. He posted 4 death threats, 6 piss takings, painted 451 square feet of fence and still had time to go 9-4. With only one Double Inless week. Not great, but good enough.
2. Double In - Not the best start to the month posting a 5-5 record and losing to everyone, but The kitchen sink in the first week. Vacation was good to him with a 5-0 record vs. the Hicks, but it's a moot score. The 3rd week he was a Tre-men-dous 5-1 only losing a close one to the D.C.S. hottest new rookie Whirlwind. Should be #1 again in no time.
3. One Dart - The saying sound as a pound is usually a good thing, but not in OD's case the only pound he's had lately is a pound of English Stuffing.
4. Whirlwind - Should be #3 statistically, but still uses a calculator to subtract 40 form 501. That really hurts him with the Judges. Look for him to frazzle the shite out of Tilly and get him off his game Wednesday.
5. The Power - Has played worse since hearing the news his parents want him out of the house. They're shipping him as far away as possible. Chances are he'll get beat just as bad in Korea as he did here. Good Luck The Putz....
6. Sidewinder. - Tilly is in his head, he is now Useless. Nobody's scared of the T18 S4 D1 combo anymore. He needs another month away at dart camp to re-charge his batteries.
7. Bravedart - Could have ranked in the top 5 this go around, but did not complete the minimum 10 games required to be there. Next time the missus asks if you want to cuddle make up a better excuse.
8. Total Package - Did play the min. number of game, but got Stuffed. He went 3-9 and in my eyes should still be suspended for gross misconduct. He's lucky I included him.
9. Scud - Went 3-4. Thanks for the effort Scud
10. El Nino - What once was a great man..., is now more distracted by average bar patrons than darts. Can't sit still on dart night and won't shut up about the damn real potato's cost him big time.
    [/list=1]

 

[knvb]

Doubles

The first ever D.C.S. Cricket matches were held last week at the historic Landing pub in cloudy Ladner. The results were as predictable as they were lop sided, but we have to start somewhere.

1. Double In / One Dart - Have the honour of being the first ever #1 ranked team Cricket players. Their thumping of The Power and Whirlwind was almost embarrassing. 4-1
2. The Power / Whirlwind - Have the honour of being the first ever punching bags for team Cricket. Congratulations. They did however, win a unsanctioned match for pints, but in the D.C.S. that's moot. I don't see them being a team for long. The Powers ego will break them.
3. Team Putz
4. Team Putz
5. Team Putz
6. Tilly / Tilly's Putz partner
   [/list=1]

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Well done, Double In......

he was statistically the best player on the D.C.S. tour during the first 3 weeks of the month

As much as it pains me to say this, you actually posted something worthwhile. I was statistically the best player and am perched on the top, where I should be. As for tomorrow, I will be there and hope to goodness there are some birds there. Otherwise, it will be another boring night for Tilly disposing of all the wannabes........ When I play Whirlwind, he is NOT allowed to use a calculator. I see this as the equivalent of Casey Martin playing in the PGA Tour with a golf cart. It should not be allowed because it gives him an advantage. What advantage? A time advantage. By the time he punches the freaking numbers into the calculator, my arm has stiffened from lack of activity. This is not a good thing....... There is one thing for sure. I will BEAT Sidewinder again and will continue the longest undefeated streak against one opponent. Right, Sidewinder. Remember, I am in your head......

Tilly

 

[Home Brew]

memo to the Captain.

Tilly;just remember good head is hard to get! Sidewinder.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Memo to Sidewinder......

Good arrows are hard to throw in the triple 20 but very easy to throw into single one........

 

[knvb]

Rankings.

1. Tilly. - Near perfect in his two appearances this ranking period. His only loss, a heartbreaker to Double In. 10-1.
2. Double In.- Seasons tickets in the #2 spot. Had a few moments of greatness, but lost to Scud and for that alone, is banished to a lifetime of mediocrity. Something btw, One Dart could only dream of. 13-4.
3. Nobody deserved the #3 spot this month.
4. One Dart. - May want to consider a name change to 90 dart. His finish has been the shits and no amount of illegal practice time at the landing is going to help the lost brother. 7-5.
5. The Power. - Eats dog and smell like one. Went 5-7.
6. Scud. - Giant killer this month. Win's vs. Double In and One Dart. It's just to bad he couldn't put together a few more vs. the lesser opponents. I guess it's because he's always been the lesser opponent. 5-7.
7. Side-dodger. Wouldn't step up and take his lumps like a real man, instead tried to pad his stats vs. Bravedart and Scud who btw STUFFED him two on the trot. 5-7.
8. Bravedart. - Played some good stuff, but couldn't put together and large enough run when it counted. Things could be worse he could have had his coaching debut end up in a 14 -0 loss..... 3-10.
9. Whirlwind. - Only one appearance and the word Shoc-king don't even describe his play. From rookie of the year to wash out in one week. Unreal. 1-6.
10. Putz
11. putz
12. El Nino- 0-0
    [/list=1]

 

[knvb]

There is no point in even making up a doubles ranking until someone, ANYONE can step up and beat Double In and One Dart. 8-1 lifetime vs. any two putz's who were man enough to step forward.

1. Double In - One Dart
2. Is there anyone else?
   [/list=1]

 

[the power]

I think that my 5-7 record for last week, or whatever the hell winning percentage it is (I can't find the calculator on this computer because everything is in fcuking Korean) should be immortalized. Anyone with a better record/winning percentage gets ranked above me, anyone with a worse record, below. I know Double In won't have any problem with that, as long as he doesn't go 1-6 tonite against OD and SW. Bravedart might be concerned that he'll always be ranked below someone who isn't even on the same continent, but he can always just play doubles pool .

 

[knvb]

Sick of it...

The Power, your leaving for Korea reminds me a bit of the 9-11 terrorist attacks in New York. While, sad that you're gone, for the fact that my stats can always use a easy 3 game boost, I'm tired of hearing about it.

Your measly 5-7 record will disappear faster than Orange Vex at Jinky's house. You'd be a flash in the pan if you were ever good enough to reach that status.

Double In.

 

[One Dart]

I agree. Until you start up the Asian DCS with your students,(what's the Korean word for Bistro?) you should keep your spouting off to a minimum. You weren't even any good when you were here.

 

[the power]

Your measly 5-7 record will disappear faster than Orange Vex at Jinky's house. You'd be a flash in the pan if you were ever good enough to reach that status.

Really.

the fact that my stats can always use a easy 3 game boost

I guess you could have used that tonite.

ThePowerwhoishappythatDoubleInisbelowtheMendozaline

 

[knvb]

Just a bad night....

I'm still at .500 arse hole and it will take a Godzilla type melt down to stop me from passing your win %. Shall we compare lifetime stats?

I thought not.

 

[the power]

Godzilla type melt down? Where do you find these metaphors?