I don't know him but...

[Dude]

Whatever...I couldn't honestly tell anyone which of the two is a better car.

All I know is that the impound guys "would love to come tow that car".

 

[BlazeArmy]

To the cnuts who wrecked some materials(paint,mouldings,some flooring) at the house we're getting renovated. Way to fcuk with my completion by Thursday schedule.I'm now going to have paint for another whole weekend as well as all week.

Also to the assholes at Weiser who build a crap lock for shed that held said stuff.

that feels better,

BA

asinBitterArmy

Thanks though for leaving all tools and equipment untouched.

 

[Keeper]

August 25, 2003

Dear Keeper:

Re: Income Tax and Benefit Return 2002

We regularly conduct review programs as an important part of the self-assessment tax system. We have selected your return for review. To determine if we have assessed your return correctly, we need more information. Please note that if you claimed a provincial non-refundable tax credit that corresponds to the federal tax credit that we are reviewing, we will review the provincial tax credit at the same time.

Yada, yada, yada . . .

I haven't made any money yet and I'm getting fcuking audited.

 

[Fastshow]

WANKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off the excellent www.peoplenews.com........


Chris Martin and Jonny Buckland of cold fish Coldplay have been fighting the good fight at the World Trade Organisation summit. The dadrockers were in Mexico in a bid to raise awareness of the restrictions that free trade places upon poorer countries. 'Free trade is a great idea,' said Martin, 'it's just that we in the West do anything but stick to it.' As well as using their recent world tour to garner signatures for the Make Trade Fair campaign, a petition which over three million people signed and which they presented to WTO director Supachai Panitchpakdi, the lads spelled out the word 'Hope' on a beach in giant green letters, something guaranteed to help the cause.

Martin said this was as far as they would take the celebrity espousal of beliefs and it would not stand in the way of their songwriting. 'It's very hard to find things that rhyme with North American Free Trade Agreement,' Chris sighed, though he patently hasn't tried too hard. 'Our priority is to write good songs, because if we didn't we wouldn't get invited to meetings like this.' Presumably no one has informed the boys they are expected to pay for their five-star break in exotic Cancun with a free performance to delegates. You sell-outs.

 

[Fastshow]

WANKER X2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off the same site..............

Chatshow beluga Oprah Winfrey has achieved some things in her time, but has anyone ever managed to make Madonna cry? The woman who has accrued a billion for talking was interviewing Her Madge this week about her forthcoming children's book, The English Roses. But even Oprah, empathetic queen of weight loss and tragedies overcome, could not have hoped in her most sentimental fantasies to see the friend of advertisers the world over break down in tears and sob like a hard-nosed child.

The wet patch on the sofa developed around the time Madonna's fifth-grade teacher, who was an influential figure in the young Madge's life, was produced as a mystery guest. Also appearing on the shlock-fest, designed to reveal the star's softer side in-keeping with her new image as children's author, was the family of a young cancer-sufferer the star had befriended. Taking a tip from the Third Reich, Madonna has discovered the best way to convert the world to her ideology is through the kids. The English Roses, the first kabbalah allegory in a series, is out this month. Watch out for the red string bracelets on those tiny wrists.

 

[hammerhead]

"The wet patch on the sofa developed around the time Madonna's fifth-grade teacher... "

sure it was from tears?

 

[BlazeArmy]

The cnut who blew through a puddle in a fcuking lifted Jeep in the parking lot @ Esquires in North Delta. You cnut, if that woman hadn't been in front of me I would have got soaked instead of just wet. As it was my coffee was fcuked as I did not have a lid on it. If I find you, watch out.

Army

 

[Captain Shamrock]

I would like to thank Mike Ilitch and his Seafair Little Caesar's for 'inspiring' me to fcuking ass-paint my toilets over the last hour. I really wanted to wake up early, especially when it is not required. That fcuking $5.00 medium pizza special isn't sounding or feeling very good right about now.


Fcuk Ilitich and all his Little Caesar franchises. Could the rest of you boycott Little Caesars for awhile? Cheers......


Captain

 

[striker14]

To the fcukers in the underground parking at Metrotown (shouldn't have been there in the 1st place...curse you Christmas) who are so excited you are leaving your stall, that they pull up right on your ass so that you can't leave the stall and are utterally confused why you are taking so damn long to get out of the stall?

BACK THE FCUK UP YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Fastshow]

perspective.........

It's frankly terrifying what Germans will get up to when you leave them unsupervised on the internet..........

German 'gentleman' cannibal trial begins
3 December 2003

The German computer expert who killed and ate a willing victim, stands trial today in a case of sexually inspired cannibalism so perplexing it could make legal history.

Armin Meiwes, 42, described by his lawyer as a "gentleman of the old school", has confessed to killing a Berlin man who answered an advertisement he had posted on the Internet seeking a fit man "for slaughter."

They met in Meiwes's elegant half-timbered home in the town of Rotenburg, central Germany, in March 2001. Meiwes killed the man, named only as Bernd-Juergen B., with a kitchen knife and filmed the deed on video tape which may be shown at the trial.



Meiwes's lawyer Harald Ermel said it took the victim nearly 10 hours to bleed to death and that he had repeatedly urged Meiwes to keep on cutting him.

Meiwes cut up the body and stored parts in his freezer. "He believes he ate about 20 kilograms and there were about 10 kilograms left over," said Ermel.

"He defrosted it little by little and ate it."

Police arrested Meiwes over a year later, in December 2002, after a tip-off from someone who had spotted another of his adverts on the Internet.

Meiwes is expected to repeat his confession at the trial that will be attended by reporters from all over the world. He is already planning to write his memoirs, his lawyer said.

Meiwes told German newspaper Welt am Sonntag last week: "I am guilty and regret what I did." He said he had eaten his victim because he wanted to make him part of himself, a desire that he had satisfied and that would not recur.

Professor Andreas Marneros, director of the Halle Clinic for Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, said: "This is cannibalism as a sexual perversion, it's a phenomenon that has been known about for centuries. I have examined four such people."

Prosecutors in the city of Kassel say a psychiatric examination found Meiwes is not insane but they added that his victim may have been incapable of rational thought.

So while prosecutors acknowledge the victim said he wanted to die, they are seeking a life sentence on a charge of murder motivated by sexual urges.

Meiwes's lawyer wants him to be convicted of "killing on request", a form of illegal euthanasia which carries a sentence of six months to five years.

The problem, legal experts say, is that Meiwes's victim wanted to be eaten.

That could make a murder charge difficult to apply, while the lesser charge of manslaughter carries a term of 15 years or considerably less, after which Meiwes would be free.

Professor Arthur Kreuzer of the Institute for Criminology at Giessen University, said the case might make legal history.

"This is killing undertaken for both killer and victim and cannot be regarded as the worst case of premeditated killing.

"But I don't think it is a killing on request either because it was not an altruistic, but an egoistic deed."

Kreuzer said the case may go as high as the Federal Constitutional Court and that prosecutors may be forced to consult new medical experts to assess Meiwes's mental state.

Meiwes's lawyer has revealed that his client had four other guests in his home, but let them all go.

"There was a teacher, a cook, a hotel employee and a student. He had them hanging from the ceiling head down and they had no chance of freeing themselves. One felt sick, the other didn't want to go on, he let them all down."

Ermel said Meiwes chatted about cannibalism with at least 280 like-minded people on the Internet.

In Germany about 200 people on the Internet were offering to be slaughtered, 30 ready to do the slaughtering and 10 to 15 wanting to watch, he said.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

Ah, you gotta love the Germans.......

 

[One Dart]

How about the little fukcer(s) who threw a fist sized rock through my front window yesterday thus forcing me into the pissing rain in a futile attempt to catch, and destroy, the little bastards.

 

[BlazeArmy]

The neighbour dude who was having sex in his car outside his place last night. Nice one son, make sure your fcuking horn doen't work though. Cnut. That and at least try and find a bird with some nuggets. I park outside after the DCS and this guy across the street shagging in a car. First of, why didn't he go inside? Secondly, it didn't look like his wife(answering #1). Thirdly, i look over( i watched for a minute or so) and the lack of nuggets was shocking. My breasts are bigger than that birds.
Don't hit the horn you cnut.

 

[cerebral smallsy]

the powers that be at Surrey United who can't manage to schedule a game on a saturday. toss pots.

 

[Guinness]

Smalls

Does that mean you can't meg that mucker KVNB this weekend???

 

[knvb]

The powers that be at Club I who can't manage to schedule an "event" when the power that be at Surrey United can't schedule a game on a Saturday. Toss pots.

 

[Hands of Stone]

Not on Sunday Morning

The guy that sent out this SPAM, come on, who wants to look at this stuff, and if they do, they can find it on their own.

From "lance"

"An average 115 lb girl's assshole can stretch up to 3 inches in diameter
THE AVERAGE HORSE'S COKC IS 5 INCHES IN DIAMETER!

YOU DO THE FUKCIN MATH!!!!

You're not gunna believe this shite!"


Send this kind of crap to Fasty, but not me, I could care less and don't want to see if it is possible or not.

hos

 

[Fastshow]

Surely grounds for the TTP legal committee to form a sub-committee, have some meetings, ponce about on Powerpoint and then do fcuk-all about this.

 

[BlazeArmy]

The world is defintely a better place because this site is there.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

''m glad no one did this at the TTP golf tournament....

Don't Try This At Home ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.

Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.

Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compresed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.



Ouch.