NBA 2003/4 Regular Season...

[sensei_hanson]

...kicks off tonight with a pretty good opening day matchup between the new-look Mavs and Lakers. Of course, it would not be a normal day in Lakerland without some (more) heated stuff between Kobe "Brown Eye" Bryant and Shaq. Here's an excerpt of the latest Bryant interview with professional shite-stirrer, Jim Gray:

GRAY: What was your reaction to Shaq saying the Lakers are his team, and everybody knows it?

BRYANT: It doesn't matter whose team it is. Nobody cares. I don't, Karl [Malone] doesn't, Gary [Payton] doesn't, and our teammates and the fans don't either. There's more to life than whose team this is. But this is his team, so it's time for him to act like it. That means no more coming into camp fat and out of shape, when your team is relying on your leadership on and off the court. It also means no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning. Also, "my team" doesn't mean only when we win, it means carrying the burden of defeat just as gracefully as you carry a championship trophy.

GRAY: Do you consider Shaq to be a leader?

BRYANT: Leaders don't beg for a contract extension and negotiate some 30 million [dollars] plus per year deal in the media when we have two future Hall of Famers playing here pretty much for free. A leader would not demand the ball every time down the floor when you have the three of us [Malone, Payton, Bryant] playing beside you, not to mention the teammates you have gone to war with for years -- and, by the way, then threaten not to play defense and rebound if you don't get the ball every time down the floor.

GRAY: Shaq says that you have not been a team player. Is he right?

BRYANT: That's ridiculous. I have been successfully sacrificing my game for years for Shaq. That's what Phil [Jackson] wanted me to do, so I did it. Last year Phil told me Shaq was not in physical condition to carry the trust of our offense, so he asked me to do it. But then he saw Shaq was getting upset that the team wasn't running through him, so Phil asked me to pull back and I did. This year is no different; my role is whatever Phil want it to be. Period.

GRAY: Through out the preseason, your leg and conditioning has been lagging. Are you in the proper shape to start the season?

BRYANT: My knee is not strong enough to play yet. I know it. When it is I will play.

GRAY: Does that mean you will miss the opener [Tuesday] night and other games?

BRYANT: I probably won't play tomorrow night or until I'm ready. But I don't need Shaq's advice on how to play hurt. I've played with IVs before, during and after games. I've played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a fractured tooth, a severed lip, and a knee the size of a softball. I don't miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn't that serious in the first place.

GRAY: Kobe, Shaq said if you didn't like what he had to say you can opt out and leave next season. Will you leave the Lakers?

BRYANT: I won't make that decision until the end of the season. I told Shaq last year that I was planning on opting out. He knew before anyone. I told him out of respect for what we have been through together. I thought he should be the first to know. The fact that he acts like this is such a big shock is a mystery to me. If leaving the Lakers at the end of the season is what I decide, a major reason for that will be Shaq's childlike selfishness and jealousy.

GRAY: Do you feel Shaq has been supportive in regards to your legal situation?

BRYANT: He is not my quote unquote "big brother." A big brother would have called to lend his support this summer. I heard absolutely nothing from him. I spoke to Devon [George], Rick [Fox], Mitch [Kupchak], Phil, and our owner Jerry Buss. And Shaq's own Uncle Jerome called and left three messages. Other teammates like Derek [Fisher], Mark [Madsen], and [Stanislav Medvedenko] left messages as well. Opponents called like [Chris] Webber, [Mike] Bibby, and many others. So did a lot of coaches. Michael Jordan, who didn't have my home phone, tracked it down to lend his support. So did Tiger Woods. But yet from my so-called big brother, I heard nothing.

GRAY: Why not resolve this behind closed doors? Why is this so public?

BRYANT: I asked Phil on Sunday [yesterday] to say something to calm this situation down before it boiled over. But he backed away, so now here we are. I have been a bigger person every time something happened with Shaq, and I don't expect this to be any different. But somebody in this organization had to speak up, because his unprofessionalism hurt us last year, and I don't want it to hurt us this year.

This went from being an on-court thing with Kobe and Shaq to a personal debate in a matter of days. At one time, they were both able to keep personal matters in the locker room, but it seems as though that has been thrown out the window.

 

[knvb]

Bomb.

This is unreal... Jim Rome has basically pissed away the first 2 hours of his show on this. Too many good points to rattle them off here, but I'm taking the stance... Kobe would be right and free from ridicule if he wasn't on trial for rape. Putz.

How do you suppose Payton and Malone feel right now? Malone is getting paid piss to take a shot at a title and walks into this. He's got to be shaking his head.

War to the Lakers not having a punch up in the shoot around tonight.
War to me getting one of my god damn emails read on his show.

 

[Regs]

Unreal?

This is unreal:

 

[sensei_hanson]

Payton and Malone both now know what it's like to be a Laker.

Here's what I figure will happen. Kobe is going to get frozen out of this team, and quickly. I think Phillip's "stances" (not coming to the aid of Bryant even though he's right about Shaq's lack of, err, everything; contemplating bringing Jordan back if Kobe was unable to go; encouraging Kobe to stay away due to physical and personal problems) indicate that he's convinced Kobe is done as a Laker anyways after this year, and not having him around this year would benefit the team to a certain degree.

Shaq, Payton and Malone can win the title on their own. Having Kobe there would obviously make it easier, but with all the excess baggage hanging over him, it'll make things a lot harder at the same time. If you get rid of Kobe, you 1) make Shaq happy, which is a big plus, and 2) you keep the team away from all the sexual assault/trial stuff that is solely Kobe's problem (and his issue to deal with).

You could also come to the conclusion that without Kobe around, it makes Phillip's job easier in terms of having to appease three superstars with just one basketball, instead of four superstars. I just don't see this season going over very well for Kobe, both on and off the court.

 

[Dapotayto]

Well said, Sensei. I think Kobe is bang-on with what he has said about Shaq but it is obvious there would be a lot less problems around the team if Kobe was not involved.


Beaker, did you get one of your emails read on the show or still trying to?

 

[ParkHead]

Everything with these two is all about themselves but in the end the man in the middle ShaQ will always win out. He still is the one guy in this league that can not be replaced. Hopefully Kobe does leave at the end of the year. Preferably to some shite team like the clippers and he never wins a thing again. Don't under estimate the power Payton and Malone will have here especially Payton who when it comes right down to it will have the ball in his hands most of the time. These two came to LALA land for one thing a trophy and will probably get in both of SHaQ and Kobe's faces to get things sorted.

Should be like a soap opera all year long with this group.


Parkheadhopesitallblowsupandkobeleavesinshame

 

[knvb]

0 fer 234

Dear Clone,

Just dropping you a note to let you know that the show received your email. Thanks for participating. The show receives thousands of emails per day and we get to as many as we can. As always, the contribution and the support are appreciated. Thanks again, and keep those emails coming.

Nice job Sensei... I hate to agree, being a Kobe fan and knowing he's right, but he needs to go away.

 

[Dapotayto]

Perhaps Kobe should go to the Mavs. I hear they are in need of some more offense.

 

[sensei_hanson]

Daaaaaaamnnnnnnnn the Lakers looked awesome tonight.

With all the hoopla surrounding the "Fab Four" and the Kobe/Shaq quarrel and the rape charge, you almost forget how good Payton and Malone are at their respective games. How Malone is putting up near triple-double numbers at 39 years of age is beyond me. Payton showed why he is still probably the number 1a point guard in the league behind Jason Kidd with his performance.

It looks like the Glove, and the Mailman for that matter, is really enjoying having a guy like Shaq to pass to in the paint. Who wouldn't? That was quite the statement game for the Lakers tonight, against a Mavs team who played well in stretches, but looked uncomfortable with one another for most of the night. How good will they be when Kobe gets back into the mix?

I just wish Kevin Harlan wouldn't have gotten so bloody poignant over the fact Kobe sat beside Shaq on the Laker bench in the 3rd quarter. Especially since it was the only open seat on the LA sideline at the time....like he's gonna go sit on the floor with the towel and mop boys, and Slava Medvedenko.

 

[knvb]

Kobe who?

Payton was top man with 21. Surprisingly even scoring for the Lakers front court, Shaq with 16 and Malone 15. I'll assume Kobe will take over Fishers points (16) when he's "healthy." I doubt this win will deflect all the shite. Anyone catch the game?

 

[knvb]

Never mind then.

 

[Sandman]

Sensei,

Brilliant stuff:

like he's gonna go sit on the floor with the towel and mop boys, and Slava Medvedenko.

Sandman

 

[ParkHead]

Le bron looked good

Yes the Kings beat them without Webber but for an 18 year old's first game very impressive. James had 25pts, 9 assists, 6 rebs, and 4 steals. What was most impressive for me was he played most of the game at point guard. This for a guy with a power forwards body 6'8 240lbs and did not commit a tournover. He definetly seems to be handling everything on the court pretty well. Although game 1 I was impressed with his composure on the court. We will have to watch to see if he really is this good.

BTW it is the Lakers and then a whole bunch of other teams this year. Honestly I think this year with all the player movement that it is wide open as far as the playoffs go. Should be better than it has been in the past.

Parkhead

 

[sensei_hanson]

Sensei's NBA notable newcomers....

Keith Van Horn, New York Knicks - a nice start for the oft-maligned KVH, who needed one of the five best games he's ever played just to keep from getting booed by the savages at MSG. 29 points and 8 boards, but the Knicks found a way to lose. Heartbreaking.

Marcus Camby, Denver Nuggets - even though he's been in Denver for over a year now, he played all of six minutes last year, so I still consider him something of a newcomer. While he only had three points, his 20 rebounds were amazing considering he was up against two monsters in Duncan and Rasho for most of the night. If Camby can avoid the injuries that only he and senior citizens seem to fall victim to (broken hip, fractured pelvis), the Nugs could be good this year.

Brad Miller, Sacramento Kings - Contrary to popular belief, there were other guys on the court in Sacto besides LeBron last night. Miller put up 16pts, 9rbs, 4assts and 2blks for his new team, and gave a scary preview of how good a frontcourt the Kings will have when C-Webb gets healthy.

Mark Madsen, Minnesota T-Wolves - that thunder dunk the Mad Dog threw down last night was amazing. It even made me think that the Wolves signed him to be more than someone for Wally and Fred Hoiberg to hang out with on off-days.

 

[ParkHead]

Miller !!

Yes I really like the addition of Brad Miller to Sacremento. If he plays the way he did last night all season they will make it interesting in the west. Don't think he is enough to to topple the Lakeshow but with him in the lineup teams like Dallas, San Antonio and Minnesota can not just worry about Cwebb posting them up. He will get open looks all year especially when CWEBB returns in a month or so. I just wish they had kept Jimmy Jackson for some scoring punch off the bench but I think they believe Wallace can supply enough along with Bobby Jackson.


Parkheadhopesthekingswillupsetthedreamteambutitdoesn'tlookpromising

 

[Saint]

we need help

Sensei,

A question if you will. While taking in High Tea at casa fastshow this past weekend, the London Collective happened upon an episode of MTV Cribs in which a recently retired circus freak was showing his not-quite-so-humble abode to all and sundry. But who was this fine specimen of athletic lean-muscle? I hope you can help us with our confusion.

These are the facts, and they are indisputable…we think:

He was, and probably still is, tall.

He was also black, and, again, probably still is.

He was highly amusing, unlike this post. But that’s beside the point (right there on the left).

He plays golf.

He is altruistic. He feels obliged to provide shelter to dying horses, having once killed one himself.

He possesses the obligatory copy of Scarface, and the usual count of Hummers and Lexuses.

For Fastshow, however, this was the clincher: after having pooh-poohed his proprietorship of exotic vehicles, this unknown basketball God trundles down his 3 1/2 mile driveway, only to return several minutes later seated behind the wheel of a acidic yellow articulated Tonka Trunk that was doing 70mph. He also owned Tonka dump trucks and Tonka tractors - as you do. Pure class!

In this era of incomprehensible madness, where fame has been so democratised that those of us who can’t get through the celebritous door have been made to feel leprous, it’s lovely to know that one man is spending his money practically. Boy with toys. If only…!

Now, who is he?


To keep on Topic: Go Heat!

 

[sensei_hanson]

Saint,

It surprises me that you and Mr. England - well, Mr. England mostly - would be watching anything so wholly North-American. Cribs is everything Fastshow seems to detest about the U-S-of-A - surround-sound mansions where each room is privy to the dulcet basslines of Trick Daddy, Cadillac Escalades with four wide-sreen televisions (with accompanying Xboxes and DVD players), life-size chessboards and multi-flavoured slurpee machines in 'da kitchen.

I know from our past (I miss you dearly) that you have a vested interest in netball and this must explain why MTV was on the "telly" that fateful evening. The relations between American Music Television and the National Basketball Association stem from both corporation's members having an unique desire to collect all things that go bling-bling. Your eye was simply caught by all the big shiny objects. Something which often sends lesser men into epileptic fits.

Fastshow would most likely condemn you for enjoying the antics of a Heat team which is full of freakishly athletic sodomizers, pot-smokers and petty thugs who occasionally netball. Of course, people who follow this type of behavior in England (save the netball) are called Newcastle supporters, but that's besides the point, really. We all know these types of double standards exist and we must learn to live with them.

So, to summarize, I have no idea who you saw on Cribs that evening, although I suspect it might have been Cuttino Mobley. I'm also worried that the only reason you two were watching Cribs was that it was the best way to kill that painful half-hour between Becoming and Punk'd.

Concerned,
-Sensei.

 

[Fastshow]

19"42

Cuttino Mobley

Told you.

...the antics of a Heat team...

I thought Heat was a magazine for women.

 

[BlazeArmy]

Jayson Williams - almost murderer

 

[knvb]

Alex Lloyd - Chasing the sun