Well.
It seems like a new business model will be used in the rankings this year. It will incorporating various forms of "motivation" for staff who had in the past taken advantage of their license to travel the world on Virgin (bit of a misnomer come to think of it when applied to staff member CDMTC Blonde) Air. Unfortunately, many SMEPR staff spent much of their time partying or eating at the buffet, when they were supposed to have been reporting on and evaluating Masters Football for these rankings . So, this new business model has been initiated. This, it is anticipated, should improve rankings efficiency. And as my German friends like to say, efficiency and accuracy are the wives of, and creativity the mistress of...success. And remember, a wife is an asset, and a mistress a liability
. So my German friends say anyway. (They are a bit boring).
So, Sir M, after another in a series of partnerships where trusted partners were, well, underachieving, has employed a new Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings Chief Operating Officer (COO). He is a former NAIA hammer throw champion, former captain of the SFU (OK, I know that Sir M has stated in the past that there is no bona fide advanced learning institution east of Alma, but is now softening as the bottom line increasingly becomes a factor) track and field team (emphasis on "field") and Lytton Celtic Festival Caber Throw Champion, and renowned motivator. His name is "The Human Chest" (hereinafter referred to as "The Chest") . Credentials? Try this: he has eaten 24 hot dogs in one sitting, and can close grip bench press over 400 lbs, and covers his body in chalk and usually beats himself about the head before deadlifting 650 lbs, and has drank three super big gulps at one sitting, and has twice evacuated his bowels in his pants after a Schezchuan binge (once while bench pressing, and once while playing golf and hitting the ground an inch or two behind the ball if you can believe it), and finished his exercise activity each time. He is an expert motivator, and has already done some great work with SMEPR staff. So, as a result, week's ahead of schedule, Sir M is anticipating the debut edition of this season's rankings within the next 48-72 hours.
Further, in another effort by staff (The Chest actually) to enhance the customer service model embraced by us here at Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings, we are publishing, for your consumption, reflection, and of course input, the 2006-2007 final rankings.
So, here you go, have a look at last year's final rankings. How should be teams ranked coming out of the gate? Staff value and will take into consideration your input.
Of course, and The Chest will echo this philosophy: this is not a democracy.
So have a look at last year's final rankings, and tell us what you think:
Stay tuned for the new rankings being rolled out by, The Chest advises, Wednesday, if not earlier.
It seems like a new business model will be used in the rankings this year. It will incorporating various forms of "motivation" for staff who had in the past taken advantage of their license to travel the world on Virgin (bit of a misnomer come to think of it when applied to staff member CDMTC Blonde) Air. Unfortunately, many SMEPR staff spent much of their time partying or eating at the buffet, when they were supposed to have been reporting on and evaluating Masters Football for these rankings . So, this new business model has been initiated. This, it is anticipated, should improve rankings efficiency. And as my German friends like to say, efficiency and accuracy are the wives of, and creativity the mistress of...success. And remember, a wife is an asset, and a mistress a liability
. So my German friends say anyway. (They are a bit boring). So, Sir M, after another in a series of partnerships where trusted partners were, well, underachieving, has employed a new Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings Chief Operating Officer (COO). He is a former NAIA hammer throw champion, former captain of the SFU (OK, I know that Sir M has stated in the past that there is no bona fide advanced learning institution east of Alma, but is now softening as the bottom line increasingly becomes a factor) track and field team (emphasis on "field") and Lytton Celtic Festival Caber Throw Champion, and renowned motivator. His name is "The Human Chest" (hereinafter referred to as "The Chest") . Credentials? Try this: he has eaten 24 hot dogs in one sitting, and can close grip bench press over 400 lbs, and covers his body in chalk and usually beats himself about the head before deadlifting 650 lbs, and has drank three super big gulps at one sitting, and has twice evacuated his bowels in his pants after a Schezchuan binge (once while bench pressing, and once while playing golf and hitting the ground an inch or two behind the ball if you can believe it), and finished his exercise activity each time. He is an expert motivator, and has already done some great work with SMEPR staff. So, as a result, week's ahead of schedule, Sir M is anticipating the debut edition of this season's rankings within the next 48-72 hours.
Further, in another effort by staff (The Chest actually) to enhance the customer service model embraced by us here at Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings, we are publishing, for your consumption, reflection, and of course input, the 2006-2007 final rankings.
So, here you go, have a look at last year's final rankings. How should be teams ranked coming out of the gate? Staff value and will take into consideration your input.
Of course, and The Chest will echo this philosophy: this is not a democracy.
So have a look at last year's final rankings, and tell us what you think:
Well here you go. This is, truth be told, completely unanticipated. Much like there was no way there would be a reunion tour of The Police, staff have re-opened this threadSir M, its seems, is certifiably insane.
So, SMEPR fans, one more time, here we go:
Due to overwhelmingly popular demand, staff have postponed their various vacations to such exotic venues as Belize, Tuscany, and of course Sooke, and have acquiesced to the multiple requests for one last 2006/2007 edition of… Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings.
Now, before everyone gets all Verklempt (Utah, Coach…please note) about this, let Sir M once again set out the Power Rankings criteria. Despite what some may think, staff try to be as fair as possible, and rate the teams as to recent form, strength of opposition, who’s better, and of course coiffures and personal grooming That is why SFC is ranked #7
This final edition, however, does factor in overall form and achievements over this past season. This week’s rankings are more of an overview of the form of the sides over the past season than previous rankings.
So here we go: this is the final 2006-2007 version (and be forewarned teams will not necessarily come out of the gate next year in this order) of:
Sir M’s Excellent Power Rankings:
1. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL). This side is the British Columbia Masters Champions. They were on a significant roll here the last few months, and defeated a feisty and higher ranked Columbus side for the title. Also finished in 1st place on 46 points (14 clear of the second place side) in the FVSL. They were, furthermore, Western Canadian Champs two years ago, and will represent this Province in fine fashion in Winnipeg this fall, staff predict. RF, note, Winnipeg: Home made perogies swimming in melted dairy butter, diced blanched onion, and crispy bacon bits with a big dollup of cool sour cream on top, and home made fried garlic sausage on the side, with a cabbage roll chaser.
2. Columbus F.C. (VMSL). This side really struggled coming out of the gate with the loss of Benji Hayford for the season, but much like this side’s namesake in 1492, they righted the ship, and forged forward, going on quite a tear since Christmas. They finished second on their side on 30 points in the VMSL, lost out in the quarters of the Masters Cup, but most importantly reached the BC Final, dispatching much vaunted Surrey United in the process. The future is (as opposed to SCDMTC Blonde) bright for this side.
3. Surrey United (VMSL). This team had a storybook maiden season in the VMSL, but had a bit of a hiccup near the end. Winners of side B in the VMSL Masters Premier on 38 points, they went out early in the Masters Cup, but went on a bit of a run in the BCs, only to lose out in the semis to Columbus. But staff argues that this team, based on consistent performance over the season, rates this ranking…if not higher. Are co-winners of the League Trophy, along with Metro-Ford.
4. Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL). The Wolves went out early in the BCs on the Island, but did win their side in the VMSL Masters on 33 points and were finalists in the Masters Cup. Hopefully they will keep all of their players next season and take that next step. Co-title holders: but enough about Sir M’s financial real estate mistake on marriage #1.
5. Aldergrove United (FVSL). This side finished a distant third to SFC in the FVSL, but won the FVSL Master’s Cup and made it to the semi-finals of the Provincial Championships. So this Aldergrove team is ranked #5, based primarily on, values that Mrs. Sir M perhaps should embrace: hard work and commitment.
6. West Van F.C. (VMSL). This team, VMSL Champs a year ago, started very slowly, but came on in the end, winning the Master’s Cup, and finishing a point behind Columbus. Went out on PKs to Westside in a tough first round game in the BCs. Will this team get better next year? Does SDMTC Blonde sleep on her back?
7. UVIC Alumni (VISL). This side arguably has the best combination midfielder and rock star playing in Masters football: Nick Gilder, (formerly of Sweeney Todd). They went out in the second round of the BCs, but UVic finished on top in the VISL, and also were the Tony Grover Cup Champions.
8. Westside F.C. (VMSL). This team had a good start, but dropped off at the end, not unlike Skanky CDMTC Blonde before she met Doctor Graham. Finished behind SU on the VMSL B side, and defeated West Van in the BCs. Have, staff report, the best goaltender under 5’8” in local Masters soccer. Their unanticipated exit to Aldergrove in the BCs drops them, staff advise.
9. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL). This side has, much like Rangerforever at his Sunday evening dinners of late, been languishing near the middle of the table for several months now. The 05-06 Provincial Champs went out early in the BCs, lost in the semis in the League Cup, and came in third on side B of the VMSL. Owned Surrey United this year it seems.
10. Peace Arch United (FVSL). Had a good draw in round one, and lost a heartbreaker to SFC in the second round. Finished in second place in the FVSL, and also were finalists in the FVSL Masters Cup. They wear jerseys with stretch marks.
11. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL) This team led their side of the VMSL standings for a good portion of the year, but much like Dickens’ much anticipated return from injury, faded badly at the end. Are as tough a team as you would want to meet though, although staff suggest midfielders that dye their hair may have been their downfall.
12. ICSF Inter (VMSL). A very disappointing year for the 03-04 Provincial Finalists. Staff have no doubt that this team will rebound: they are known for having good hair, and are very good cooks.
13. Nanaimo United. (VISL). Staff report that this is a side that is always tough, as they have to live in Nanaimo. Went out early in the BCs, but finished in second place in the VISL, just 3 points shy of UVic.
14. Coveside F.C. (NCSL). Had a disappointing year, by their standard in the NSCL, finishing third, and not reaching the Cup Final. Solace for them though in that they were the most competitive of their league’s teams in the first round of the BCs, losing (by less than the others) to the BC Champs.
15. Nordic F.C. (NSCL). Had a great year in the NSCL, winning the league and the Kilby Cup. Their thumping in the first round at the hand of SU of the BCs drops them a bit though.
16. VicWest (VISL). Another Island team that made an early exit in the BCs. Finished in third in the VISL, and made it to the semis in the Tony Grover Cup. Staff advise that two players on this team have bench pressed the log.
17. Cliff Avenue Utd. (VMSL). This side had a wonderful debut season in the VMSL: they won Div 1 going away, got promoted, and made it into the quarter-final of the League Cup. Did not qualify for the BCs, but they will play Masters Premier next year.
18. NorVan F.C. (NSCL). Finished in second place in the NSCL, and did not fare any better in the goal scoring department than any other sides from their league in the Provincials, also failing to make a mark on the score sheet. Were also Kilby Cup finalists though.
19. Wickham F.C. (VMSL). Not a great year for this team, also did not qualify for the BCs or make much of a run in the cup. Stayed up though, and are looking to move up next year.
20. Delta Metro Utd. (FVSL). Fourth place in the FVSL did not get them a spot in the BCs, were semi-finalists in the FVSL Masters Cup.
So that is it for this year. Everyone have a good summer.
Sir M knows he won’t.
Stay tuned for the new rankings being rolled out by, The Chest advises, Wednesday, if not earlier.
