- Thread starter
- #41
So now it is week four of the season, and there were a few interesting results on the weekend.
And, quite similar to Sir M’s this last Saturday’s first time in six weeks foray into the marriage bed: there were a few upsets, a few postponements, and a few predictable results.
But, again, I digress.
So, without much further ado, or for our French-Canadian fans out there, adieu, we will cut right to the chase and proceed forth with this week’s edition of:
Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:
1. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 1). Staff report that in the second half of last weekend’s game against the Cracks, they played a lot of one or two touch. Staff advise one can get medical help for that, by the way. This side is lending a few of the blue-hairs, one of which was a 2004 National Champion, to their “A” side for the Canadian Championships this coming weekend. On behalf of SMEPR staff and thousands of fans, best of luck in that endeavour. No league game this weekend as a result for the #1 ranked side.
2. Peace Arch United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 2). Top of the table in the FVSL, this side has scored 24 goals and conceded but 1, and the defender on that play has been cut and has moved over to the VMSL (to Inter Premier actually, as another in a series of “pickups”, but unfortunately he was disqualified as being an ineligible player, and Inter, not being Columbus after all, have been accordingly deducted three points.) Back to PAU though: they defeated the Sikh side on the weekend, and will be away to GEU in their next game. Staff report that this side, much like Oscar De La Hoya, likes to “dress up”.
3. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 3). Similar to Mrs. Sir M’s activity up at the estate on Saturday evening: there was no movement this week. And also in a similar fashion, Surrey’s game was postponed due to wet and unplayable conditions. Home to Wickham next, who, in another parallel when you think about it, will be tough and hungry.
4. Westside (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 6). Up two spots after scoring early and then easily handling West Van at Ambleside on Friday. Top of the table on their side of the VMSL Masters Premier, which is shaping up to be the tougher of the two sides thus far this season. Host Cliff Avenue this coming Sunday in what should be an interesting game.
5. Cliff Ave. United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 5). Did not play, so they do not move. This coming week’s game against #4 ranked Westside should serve as an indication as to whether this team is a true contender this year. MOTW.
6. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 11). A big jump for the Rovers after their decisive victory over Wickham up at Griffin on Friday. Staff report they lost two game balls and 9 pints in the process. And to repeat, staff like this team, in a completely non-sexual way. Host West Van at the dreaded Sapperton Park Sunday morning.
7. Golden Ears Thunder (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 8). Up one spot after no game this weekend, and Inter’s three point penalty, and SFC’s unexpected loss. Coming up, they face #2 Peace Arch. A win there will send this side to unprecedented heights in these rankings, and to first place in the FVSL. Stay tuned gentlemen. MOTW for those SMEPR followers out in the agricultural areas.
8. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 4). Lost to Mission 1-0 on Friday. As a result, staff report that they received an absolute tongue lashing from Coach, the self-described Johnny Cochrane of Masters Football. Hopefully they can turn it around this coming weekend in the prairies, where it is rumored that the colorful Rangers manager is planning on being the first male in history to wear Capri pants on the Canadian Shield.
But seriously, good luck to the BC Champs this weekend.
9. ICSF Inter (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 7). This side, much like SCK’s favourite Roxy dance move, is grinding out results this season. Unfortunately, much like all to often later in the evening for the VMSL’s #2 goalscorer, there have been a lot of associated shutouts. And a late three point deduction on points drops them a couple of spots. Home to Cracovia next week, a game which could very well move this side up in these rankings.
10. Coquitlam Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 10). They tied Inter 0-0 in a game which staff technical advisors say they defended well and could not score. Away to PCOV next, in what should be another good test. Could move up.
11. Portuguese Club of Vancouver (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 14). This mercurial side is, much like whether SCP will be wearing a Kappa or Puma tracksuit each week, very difficult to predict. Defeated VFF 4-2 on the weekend, and play Metro Ford at home this coming weekend.
12. Aldergrove United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 13). Aldergrove is a force in the Fraser Valley. Of course so is bovine produced methane. Dismissed White Rock on the weekend and are away to Abbotsford next. They could move up again. Rumour has it that some of the Abbotsford players have more than one wife. Kind of like West Van actually. But at least they admit it.
13. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 11). Drop a couple of spots after their loss to PCOV. Their game is postponed this weekend, as Columbus has two players who cannot make the game.
14. Richmond United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 15). This Richmond side is quietly moving right up in these rankings. They are one of two undefeated and untied sides in this evaluation, along with #7 ranked GEU. But staff advise that VMSL Div 1 Masters and FVSL Masters are quite similar in caliber. But Sir M does not agree with that one: comparing the two is a bit like comparing Moneyman to Mastermind. Meralomas next.
15. Mission FC Blues (FVSL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). The blue team (and staff, especially SCDMTC Blonde, are offering their services to help you guys not feel sad) make an emphatic return to these rankings after their defeat of the reigning Provincial Champs on the weekend. Away over in White Rock next. About a two hour drive.
16. West Van FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 12). This team, led by Sir M, had another in a series of very disappointing performances on the weekend. Can turn it around with a character check away at Sapperton on the weekend. Unless it is too cold, rainy, or early.
17. Delta Metro United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). Staff are not impressed with the way in which this team is humiliating weak teams, but do recognize that they are winning games. Away to Sikh next.
18. Langley All Blacks (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 17). Much like Sir M last weekend, this side saw no action. And, a prediction for this coming Thanksgiving weekend (much like for this writer)…they are dangling out a few propositions for Friday evening, but staff are predicting no action again this week.
19. Vikings (NSCL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). This side has come charging out of the blocks in the NSCL, defeating Norvan this last weekend. Staff report that they have no game this coming weekend. In which case this side will probably discover Newfoundland or something.
20. Wickham FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 18). Another loss for this beleaguered side drops them two spots. This is a quality team, but things do not get any better for them as they must make the dreaded trek out to CAP at 10 on Sunday. Hopefully for them they do not come home with hail damage, missing laptops, and sore bottoms after that one.
Sorry for the delay in posting this week’s rankings. Best of luck to all teams this week, and especially, best of luck to SFC Rangers.
Sir M.
And, quite similar to Sir M’s this last Saturday’s first time in six weeks foray into the marriage bed: there were a few upsets, a few postponements, and a few predictable results.
But, again, I digress.
So, without much further ado, or for our French-Canadian fans out there, adieu, we will cut right to the chase and proceed forth with this week’s edition of:
Sir M's Excellent Power Rankings:
1. Columbus F.C. (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 1). Staff report that in the second half of last weekend’s game against the Cracks, they played a lot of one or two touch. Staff advise one can get medical help for that, by the way. This side is lending a few of the blue-hairs, one of which was a 2004 National Champion, to their “A” side for the Canadian Championships this coming weekend. On behalf of SMEPR staff and thousands of fans, best of luck in that endeavour. No league game this weekend as a result for the #1 ranked side.
2. Peace Arch United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 2). Top of the table in the FVSL, this side has scored 24 goals and conceded but 1, and the defender on that play has been cut and has moved over to the VMSL (to Inter Premier actually, as another in a series of “pickups”, but unfortunately he was disqualified as being an ineligible player, and Inter, not being Columbus after all, have been accordingly deducted three points.) Back to PAU though: they defeated the Sikh side on the weekend, and will be away to GEU in their next game. Staff report that this side, much like Oscar De La Hoya, likes to “dress up”.
3. Surrey United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 3). Similar to Mrs. Sir M’s activity up at the estate on Saturday evening: there was no movement this week. And also in a similar fashion, Surrey’s game was postponed due to wet and unplayable conditions. Home to Wickham next, who, in another parallel when you think about it, will be tough and hungry.
4. Westside (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 6). Up two spots after scoring early and then easily handling West Van at Ambleside on Friday. Top of the table on their side of the VMSL Masters Premier, which is shaping up to be the tougher of the two sides thus far this season. Host Cliff Avenue this coming Sunday in what should be an interesting game.
5. Cliff Ave. United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 5). Did not play, so they do not move. This coming week’s game against #4 ranked Westside should serve as an indication as to whether this team is a true contender this year. MOTW.
6. Sapperton Rovers (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 11). A big jump for the Rovers after their decisive victory over Wickham up at Griffin on Friday. Staff report they lost two game balls and 9 pints in the process. And to repeat, staff like this team, in a completely non-sexual way. Host West Van at the dreaded Sapperton Park Sunday morning.
7. Golden Ears Thunder (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 8). Up one spot after no game this weekend, and Inter’s three point penalty, and SFC’s unexpected loss. Coming up, they face #2 Peace Arch. A win there will send this side to unprecedented heights in these rankings, and to first place in the FVSL. Stay tuned gentlemen. MOTW for those SMEPR followers out in the agricultural areas.
8. S.F.C. Rangers (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 4). Lost to Mission 1-0 on Friday. As a result, staff report that they received an absolute tongue lashing from Coach, the self-described Johnny Cochrane of Masters Football. Hopefully they can turn it around this coming weekend in the prairies, where it is rumored that the colorful Rangers manager is planning on being the first male in history to wear Capri pants on the Canadian Shield.
But seriously, good luck to the BC Champs this weekend.
9. ICSF Inter (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 7). This side, much like SCK’s favourite Roxy dance move, is grinding out results this season. Unfortunately, much like all to often later in the evening for the VMSL’s #2 goalscorer, there have been a lot of associated shutouts. And a late three point deduction on points drops them a couple of spots. Home to Cracovia next week, a game which could very well move this side up in these rankings.
10. Coquitlam Metro Ford Wolves (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 10). They tied Inter 0-0 in a game which staff technical advisors say they defended well and could not score. Away to PCOV next, in what should be another good test. Could move up.
11. Portuguese Club of Vancouver (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 14). This mercurial side is, much like whether SCP will be wearing a Kappa or Puma tracksuit each week, very difficult to predict. Defeated VFF 4-2 on the weekend, and play Metro Ford at home this coming weekend.
12. Aldergrove United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 13). Aldergrove is a force in the Fraser Valley. Of course so is bovine produced methane. Dismissed White Rock on the weekend and are away to Abbotsford next. They could move up again. Rumour has it that some of the Abbotsford players have more than one wife. Kind of like West Van actually. But at least they admit it.
13. Vancouver Firefighters (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 11). Drop a couple of spots after their loss to PCOV. Their game is postponed this weekend, as Columbus has two players who cannot make the game.
14. Richmond United (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 15). This Richmond side is quietly moving right up in these rankings. They are one of two undefeated and untied sides in this evaluation, along with #7 ranked GEU. But staff advise that VMSL Div 1 Masters and FVSL Masters are quite similar in caliber. But Sir M does not agree with that one: comparing the two is a bit like comparing Moneyman to Mastermind. Meralomas next.
15. Mission FC Blues (FVSL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). The blue team (and staff, especially SCDMTC Blonde, are offering their services to help you guys not feel sad) make an emphatic return to these rankings after their defeat of the reigning Provincial Champs on the weekend. Away over in White Rock next. About a two hour drive.
16. West Van FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 12). This team, led by Sir M, had another in a series of very disappointing performances on the weekend. Can turn it around with a character check away at Sapperton on the weekend. Unless it is too cold, rainy, or early.
17. Delta Metro United (FVSL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). Staff are not impressed with the way in which this team is humiliating weak teams, but do recognize that they are winning games. Away to Sikh next.
18. Langley All Blacks (FVSL. Last week’s rank: 17). Much like Sir M last weekend, this side saw no action. And, a prediction for this coming Thanksgiving weekend (much like for this writer)…they are dangling out a few propositions for Friday evening, but staff are predicting no action again this week.
19. Vikings (NSCL. Last week’s rank: not ranked). This side has come charging out of the blocks in the NSCL, defeating Norvan this last weekend. Staff report that they have no game this coming weekend. In which case this side will probably discover Newfoundland or something.
20. Wickham FC (VMSL. Last week’s rank: 18). Another loss for this beleaguered side drops them two spots. This is a quality team, but things do not get any better for them as they must make the dreaded trek out to CAP at 10 on Sunday. Hopefully for them they do not come home with hail damage, missing laptops, and sore bottoms after that one.
Sorry for the delay in posting this week’s rankings. Best of luck to all teams this week, and especially, best of luck to SFC Rangers.
Sir M.