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Fastshow

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modern day genius.......

I don't know how many will be able to justify reading this lot but A). your life will be better for it and C). fcuk else have you got to do?

Bill Drummond. A good man to have a pint or six of absynthe with.

http://www.penkiln-burn.com/


Bill Drummond is looking sober, respectable and sane. Don't be fooled.
Bill Drummond has consistently stuck two fingers up at the mendacious, avaricious, pretentious animal that constitutes the music and arts businesses, whilst simultaneously making a fortune from them.
William E. Drummond was born in 1953 and grew up in Galloway. The teenage Drummond ran away to sea to become a fisherman off the North East coast of Scotland, a period he described as "my youth years lost afloat". He then went to Liverpool to study art. And it is there that the story really begins.

In the mid 1970's Liverpool was an extraordinary place for music. It wasn't long before Drummond joined Liverpool punk band 'Big In Japan'. Although they were crap, they spawned major careers for three of the personnel; Drummond himself, Holly Johnson of 'Frankie Goes To Hollywood', and Ian Broudie of 'Lightning Seeds' and a frightening number of high class production credits.

After Big in Japan split, Drummond formed Zoo Records. Zoo signed and released output from two of the defining Liverpool acts of the period; 'Echo and The Bunnymen' and 'The Teardrop Explodes', both of whom Drummond also managed.

Drummond was an interesting manager. When he was questioned about the point of a Bunnymen tour of bizarre and apparently random sites, including the Northern Isles, Drummond's response was, "It's not random, if you look at a map of the world, the whole tour's in the shape of a rabbit's ears."

Demonstrating a more caring side to his character as the Teardrops manager, he once told lead singer, Julian Cope, to commit suicide in order to boost record sales.

With a management style like that, something had to give and it did. Following an acrimonious split with both bands, Drummond joined WEA as an A&R man and during his stint was responsible, amongst other things, for nurturing The Proclaimers.

But the best was yet to come.

In 1987, together with Jimmy Cauty, ex-Killing Joke, he formed a creative partnership which released output under a number of guises most notably the KLF. The partnership will be long remembered, but probably not for the music.

KLF were masters of culture-jamming, art terrorism, media manipulation. There are three examples of this which are most memorable:

Drummond, in a kilt, sprays captains of the music industry with blanks from his machine gun at the 1992 Brit awards.
On live TV, and in front of the captains of the music industry Drummond and Cauty launched a 2 band, mega-metal-thrash with screeching guitars, 200mph drumming and shouted lyrics. The industry had been expecting a KLF dance track.

The finale was Drummond returning onstage with a large automatic machine gun, and a cigar in his mouth, sparks and explosions from the rear of the stage, and Drummond shooting realistic sounding blanks into the audience.

They left the stage with the audience incredulous, to an announcement "The KLF have now left the music industry".

Culture jamming, art terrorism .....

Or just taking the piss?
As a reaction to the Turner prize awarded to the best young British artist, KLF Foundation announced an award for the worst British art. The prize was £40,000, twice the value of the Turner prize. The winner of the KLF award would be announced in a TV advert during the live Turner prize coverage on Channel 4.

The recipient of the award was to be Rachel Whiteread, also the winner of the Turner prize.

The money was nailed to a wooden frame and secured to the railings outside the Tate Gallery, where the awards were being held and televised live.

Whitread only accepted the award after the K foundation threatened to burn it if she did not.

In a bizarre simultaneous sideshow, KLF nailed £1,000,000 of their own money to an art installation. When they dismantled the installtion and returned the million to the Bank of England, pierced with nail-holes, the Bank declared the money unusable and fined the K- Foundation £9000 for damaging it and charged them £500 to print a new million. Who says money isn't cheap?

Burning £1,000,000

Allegedly, they burnt a million pounds in an abandoned boathouse on Jura, near the village of Ardfin on the 23rd of August 1994. As you do.

It took just over an hour for Cauty and Drummond to pile the wads onto the flames and the spectacle was witnessed by a freelance journalist.

This should be balanced against an Omnibus TV documentary on the burning, where the KLF's bank confirmed that a million pounds in cash had been withdrawn.

Unfortunately, the supporting film also showed a bank statement with a credit transfer of £1,300,000 going into the Foundation's account just a few days later.

Not that we suggest anything. Probably coincidence.






Bill Drummond in kilt and machine gun scenario.

 

sensei_hanson

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johnny no mates...

Nobody wants to drink with you. Let's clear that up first and foremost. You emit an odd, odorous mix of vindaloo and aqua velva, listen to bogus synth music and routinely scribe TTP posts in blue font. For this, and a host of other vulgar tendencies, you are a most unsavoury drinking partner. And we haven't even scratched the surface of chalking up lines of your own dandruff, a move which dumbfounds the Blizzard of Oz himself.

Perhaps you could win a few pint-sharers over by recycling the never-say-die retort "I see you've edited your post...try leaving the funny bits in next time." The classics never die. I anticipate you breaking out the flapping dickie and lapel flower that shoots water at unsuspecting bystanders in the weeks to come. Be sure the spring-loaded styrofoam snakes are in prime position to pop out of the peanut jar upon opening. Remember, timing is everything.

To keep this remotely on topic, I'd like to have a pint with Gallagher, he of smashing watermelon fame. I think chasing beers with a good ol' sledge-hammering of a canteloupe would be rather fulfilling.
 

Fastshow

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debutant........

Envy. Most unattractive.

As seems to be the trend with most 2003 posts, there are many inaccuracies in your tale of woe.

I don't eat vindaloo so cannot possibly smell like vindaloo. I eat phaal which culinary types will know is the hottest curry on the menu. I haven't sat down in months.

My fixation with Aqua Velva shifted focus to Faberge Brut quite some time ago. Sorry you didn't get the memo. Must've sent it to your Long & Mcquade e-mail account.

Who is this Blizzard of Oz of whom you so cryptically speak? I'm intrigued now. And you know what happens when I become intrigued. Cross-Atlantic restraining orders don't frighten me.

I agree with you on the timing is everything shout. Pity your post has now timed out as you could have added some funny bits to it.

Your man Gallagher is so renowned for smashing watermelons that I've never heard of him. I take it he's got a radio chat show?

I'd like to have a pint with West Ham manager Glenn Roeder. I'm led to believe he may have some spare time in the weeks ahead to accommodate my drinking wishes.



 

sensei_hanson

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gallagher....

...looking at this, and speaking of L&M, I realize that the guy bears a striking similarity to Lou, Winnipeg's raving lunatic Credit Manager. Freaky.
 

gong show

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Re: mmmmmmmmmm.............

Originally posted by Fastshow


My hands are down but I'm still at a loss as to who (or what) you're on about, Gonger. I've been unable to crack your code so far but live in constant and unwavering hope for some sort of epiphany. I'd also like to know who or what Harj ghuman is. Just to get my wallcharts up to date, you see.


Can't help you there Fastshow, don't recall making the post myself.....Damn You Duff Beer........
 

Regs

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I'd like to sit down and have a pint with all the TTPers that have no problem finding the time to put in weekly picks for the free soccer pools here at TTP (where I put up money from my own pocket) but can't be fcuked to simply return Private Messages when asked if they will enter paid pools.

Of course, I suppose I'd have to pay for the pints with the cheap cnuts but anything to satisfy my curiousity...

:D

~Regs.
 

Hands of Stone

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I am Off work at 3:30, Where are the Free Pints

Originally posted by Regs
Of course, I suppose I'd have to pay for the pints with the cheap cnuts but anything to satisfy my curiousity...
:D
~Regs.

Who you calling a Cheap Cnut, I will buy the peanuts.

HOS put in for VMSL Super Pool, I lost by 1 point last year to that bastard Kurgan.:(
 

Fastshow

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life's too short.........

I would like to have had a pint with John Ritter, the sole American actor to have ever successfully managed to re-do a British sitcom without taking all the funny bits out.


John Ritter, dead at 54.






 

SC

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John Ritter...

His role in "Problem Child II" totally kept me captivated. I also think that was his BIG comeback role :rolleyes:

It's a shame, so young:(

+SC
 

Fastshow

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sesh......

Jinks will appreciate this, he being one of few on this site with even an inkling of musical taste so here you go, Jinks........ aged like fine wine a la Capucho.

I've managed to go 13 years without knowing what Cath Carroll looked like, however. I wish I could get my mental image of her back. She was fcuking fit in ma heed.


Shamrock, don't bother, mate. She's the thinking man's Pat Benatar.





 

lita

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I would like to have few pints with some of the TTPers I am curious to match the faces with the post.
 

Regs

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Any one of them, any.

Don't suppose they will be out in Slurrey tonight, eh? :rolleyes:

~Regs.
 

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