Probably The Only Decent Choon Thread on This Website

[terrytoo]

My other special thread devoted to music that isn't naughty word for faecal matter was lost in the great fire of 21st January, 2005.

Consider this an alternative for the discerning sonic palate, an idyll in the auditory outback, a parenthesis amidst the suffering and wretchedness that is those "other" music threads.

To pinch the words of that gorgeous hunk of Essex hottie David Beckham, "You can't buy taste."

Different Drum- The Stone Poneys
Jessica- Adam Green
Surface to Air- The Chemical Brothers
Zenophile- Mylo
Higher Thoughts- Matthew Dekay Band
Krafty- New Order

What better way to kick off a fresh new choon thread but to devote a song to my future partner, DickVanDyke. Fittingly and reminsicent of one of his gloriously unbalanced posts, for him I request a song so dull, dreary, bleak, and disconsolate that, God willing, it might just push him over the edge and closer to my waiting arms.

Oxygen- Willy Mason

 

[terrytoo]

Tip Top Chooons

Mu- 'Stop Bothering Michael Jackson'
King Of Woolworths- 'Yellow World'
Laurent Garnier- 'Barbiturik Blues'
Tears for Fears 'Closest Thing To Heaven- Brothers in Rhythm Remix'
Mike Monday 'Flashlight'
Narcotic Thrust 'When The Dawn Breaks'
Handsome Boy Modelling School 'The New Collection For The Discerning' Listener'
The Kills 'The Good Ones'

Hot enough to boil the bollocks off a room full of brass monkeys.

 

[terrytoo]

Gorillaz 'Dirty Harry'
Felix Da Housecat 'Ready 2 Wear'
The Thrills 'The Irish Keep Gate-Crashing'
Bloc Party 'So Here We Are'
Kasabian 'Cutt Off'
The Chemical Brothers 'The Boxer'
West London Deep 'Dark Matter'
Basement Jaxx 'Oh My Gosh'
The Kills 'The Good Ones'
Brian Wilson 'Our Prayer (Freeform 5 remix)'

Bend that lot 'round yer Jacob's.

 

[terrytoo]

Dakota- The Stereophonics
I like Girls- Hound Dogs
The World's Gone Mad- Handsome Boy Modelling feat. Del the Funky Homosapien, Barrington Levy & Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand
London Town- JDS
In My Arms (King Unique Remix)- Mylo
Tourist- Athlete
Yesterday Threw Everything at Me- Athlete
This Modern Love- Bloc Party
Misery Loves Company (Space is Easy Mix)- Her Space Holiday

 

[outkast]

notice how your songs kill every choon forum?....

I like Girls - Hound Dogs

coincidence...i think not.

 

[terrytoo]

notice how your songs kill every choon forum?....

I hadn't noticed, no. Your observational skills are marvellous. In fact, your wit is at its' zenith when you don't post at all and merely observe. No one can better you in that respect, well done you!

Now that you have very kindly pointed out this most salient of facts I shall have to reconsider everything. Yes, everything. My sexuality, my relationship with Jesus, what cufflinks to wear in the morning and to finally, after 734 weeks, pack in my attempts to win the All-Bran challenge and go back to Weetabix full time.

I was truly under the impression I had a large and varied listenership here on TTP, the internet's most popular website. Given the fact it really matters to me what a bunch of colonial morons think of my exquisite musical suggestions, I'm tempted to pack it all in in a storm of universal apathy à la DickVanDyke. That way I could come back in 4 days time in order to collect my traditional wanker of the week award.

The thing you and your ilk consistently miss, due to your determined and fixed innate stupidity, is that music is subjective by its' very nature. Given this most obvious fact, it should go without saying that the music I recommend is of the highest virtue whereby the abominable discharge you suggest should be questioned, mocked, and beguiled at every opportunity.

Waiting for the Sirens' Call- New Order
Avalon (Jacque Lu Cont remix)- Juliet
Hand in Glove- The Smiths
If You Were Here- Kent

 

[steve1234]

You can't be serious. I thought this thread was home to one of your more brilliant pisstakes. Basement jaxx, oh my gosh indeed.

 

[terrytoo]

You can't be serious. I thought this thread was home to one of your more brilliant pisstakes. Basement jaxx, oh my gosh indeed.

What you think and what actually is are rarely, I submit, two mutually exclusive things. This suggestion is based on your repeatedly proven diaphonous purchase on reality and the fact you suffer greatly from being in possession of a mental endowment hitherto confined to the sea-bed or most southern American states. The kinds of places where Deliverence is viewed not with revulsion but encouraged as essential viewing for all children over the age of four.

What kind of music do you like, Conundrum? I've got you down as a bit of a McFly/Busted/Nana Mouskouri type myself.

At least you concede my brilliance. There's hope for you yet. There will always, sadly, be litter and, as a by-product, the need to have it collected by people just like you.

 

[steve1234]

Funny you mention deliverance. kudos for the reference, a classic yet to be repeated. First decent review you've given. Oh and did you mean Diaphanous. I would return that thesaurus if I was you.

 

[terrytoo]

Countdown me old mucker, the internet is simply not big enough to list the infinite number of things you'd do if you were me. Bless.

Steady on though my dim-witted whipping stooge, you didn't mention, "Probably The Only Decent Choon Thread on This Website" in your last post. You'll be for it in front of the kangaroo court presided over by your intellectual double if you carry on with your capricious disregard for a "policy" that isn't mentioned anywhere on this website. The most thick only take the piss unintentionally. But you can't be expected to know that, my dear.

Bang Bang- Audio Bootys
Something in Me Was Dying- Keane
Planet of the Phatbird- Leftfield vs Fatboy Slim
Sounds Rushing- Dominic Plaza

On topic because that's important terrytoo.

 

[steve1234]

fashanu, I have to agree with you on Keane. You must have borrowed the neighbors plunger and removed your head from your arse.

 

[terrytoo]

You know you really don't Conundrum, you don't have to agree with me on anything. You really are a Scotsman aren't you? Going back and editing your post to spell neighbour incorrectly thus saving that extra vowel to use at a later date. Thrifty.

Who's a clever boy then on the witty "Fashanu" suggestion? We both have much in common with the Fashanu brothers. My connection is obvious, it must be, you suggested it, but yours is equally evident. I could tell you were a Barnardo boy from miles off. You do very well all things considered.



The following came from Canadia. Must have been written by an Englishman, though. It's very good and certainly à propos though, thankfully, most of the artists mentioned haven't bothered us here in the civilised world. Those few I've heard of the writer has summed up bang to rights.

The Grammys opened with an extended number that starred Gwen Stefani and Eve, Los Lonely Boys, Franz Ferdinand, the Black Eyed Peas, Maroon 5 and Ann B. Davis as Alice. The only thing that saved it was the fact that having the Black Eyed Peas and Maroon 5 play simultaneously slightly mitigates the awfulness of hearing them play separately.

And then there was the medley of southern rock songs, fronted by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Perhaps some of you at home were thinking to yourselves as the act was introduced: Hey, didn't Lynyrd Skynyrd, um ... you know ... didn't they all, like, die? As the ensuing performance so eloquently suggested: Yes. Yes, they did.

Country singer Tim McGraw was on stage with Skynyrd, as was Gretchen Wilson. I must admit to living in a delightful paradise of a world that, up until a short while ago, had been utterly free of Gretchen Wilson, in that I did not know she existed. That has since changed. She performed a week earlier at the Super Bowl, and now she was at the Grammys, displaying all the verve and indefatigable nature of one completely unencumbered by talent.

Some of us are still getting accustomed to the idea of watching a major entertainment awards show without the company of Joan Rivers, who last year departed E!, the enthusiastically punctuated channel for which she had lexically fellated Hollywood celebrities for the past 140 years.

Joan and the red carpet: They always seemed so interconnected, so inseparable, like chronic shingles and searing pain.

Joan and her daughter Melissa now work the red rug for something called the TV Guide Channel, which we don't get in Canada, either on account of the CRTC or the divine benevolence of God almighty. Instead we got Star Jones, who has many of the qualities that we demand of our celebrity interrogators: self-obsession, peculiar tics (Jones seemed unable or unwilling to maintain eye contact with her guests), acute underarm perspiration and constant references to her own sex life.

She also could not stop informing us that various people were, to use her words, "in the house." For instance, she greeted producer Jimmy Jam by proclaiming: "Jimmy Jam in the house!" When the Black Eyed Peas stopped by, it was: "Black Eyed Peas in the house!" Maroon 5? In the house. Let the record show that Hoobastank and Gary Sinise were also in the aforementioned dwelling. And in a statement that surely represented the first time in human history that these five words were used together in a sentence, Jones blurted: "Lynyrd Skynyrd in the house!"

Look at Lynyrd Skynyrd. Listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd. Do this and I think you will come to the same conclusion that I did -- namely, that no matter how desperately you want to believe that musical genres have overlapped and merged, that country and hip-hop are brothers more than distant cousins, Lynyrd Skynyrd has never been in, nor even within the general vicinity of, "the house."

Call me a stickler for accuracy, but if ever the version of Georgia on My Mind performed at the Grammys by Alicia Keys and Jamie Foxx is released to the public, it must be entitled: Geoo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oor-jaaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aah on my Mi-i-i-i-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-nd. Keys is massively talented, but there are only so many syllables a poor word can endure before it succumbs to death by diva.

For those wagering at home, the official result was nine. That's how many steps James Brown took along the green carpet outside the Grammys before the cameras first caught his mouth forming the words "I feel good!" The remark seemed to be hollered at no one in particular. "Ok, let's take a..."

Adorable moment of the pre-show came when Aaron Carter, making his penultimate stop on the well-travelled journey from popular teen heartthrob to bottom-left seat on Hollywood Squares, said that he really looks up to the artists of the 1980s, man, because the record business wasn't about politics then, man, it was all about the music!

Son, the record executives of the 1980s were so crammed full of cocaine, STDs and bullshit that Culture Club just kept making albums and no one even tried to stop them. The last time the music business was about the music was when a caveman delighted in the sounds he could make by banging two rocks together. Shortly thereafter, he was sued for copyright infringement by Ringo Starr.

 

[Buckfast]

You really are a Scotsman aren't you? Going back and editing your post to spell neighbour incorrectly thus saving that extra vowel to use at a later date. Thrifty.

Steady on. Like everything else, Reaganomics is cyclical. No need to put your nose up at being fiscally responsible.

Anyone know of a good boot sale this w/e?

Audiowhores - Nekoosa (Radio 1's Dreem Team "pre-jam" opens up with this diddy)
GusGus - David (Darren Emerson Remix)
Bobby Konders Feat. Jabba & Indian - Massive B Sounds (Coventry Mix)
The Dub Pistols - The Problem is - (Jon Carter Mix)

Embarrassed to say, finally picked up the latest Way Out West album. Could turn a wake into a Leicester-style bhangra party.

Buckast

 

[steve1234]

There is nothing wrong with neighbor, I thought I had typed fist in place of head.
Nice work Bucky:'". I've got boots for sale. If your size 11.

 

[terrytoo]

Off course they're is'nt Conundrum. Your absolutely right in everything you say. Their our few people around more cleverer than yoo.

That Melt by Way out West is worth keeping an eye on. Proper growler than one. Makes me want to prance around me handbag just thinking about it.

The Dub Pistols. Good call.

I was sat on the number 38 to Newington Green the other night when I heard the traditional, "Tickets please". Well, I don't get on with bus conductors (apart from that dishy one I pulled last summer on Hampstead Heath with the Prince Albert) so I kicked him in the goolies and told him to get stuffed before pulling the race card and accusing him of homophobia.

Well tug my foreskin with a rusty spanner if it wasn't Terry Hall himself. Terry Hall from The Specials and Dub Pistols a bus conductor on the number 38!!

My how we laughed when we realised my mistake.

 

[terrytoo]

Automagic feat Aswan - Do You Feel? (DJ Rocco Additive Remix)
Justin Martin - The Sad Piano (Charles Webster Remix)
Low - Tonight (Ben Watt Night Flight Remix)
Unity - Pressure
The Bravery- Honest Mistake
Felix Da Housecat- Ready 2 Wear
Nine Black Alps- Shot Down
The Postal Service- Against All Odds
Whitey- A Walk in the Dark

All good music for Countdown and his mental auxiliary dvd to be quietly stupid to.

 

[terrytoo]

More crackers

Elu On Mi Iiu (Dub)- Rulers of the Deep
Don't Stop Now- Lemon Jelly
Soft- Lemon Jelly
One Eye Shut- Robbie Rivera
Freek U (Full Intention remix)- Bon Garçon
808- Nufrequency
Love On My Mind- Freemasons
Girls Can Be Cruel- Infusion

Stephen Hawking could cut some rug to that lot.

 

[terrytoo]

Portions of Foxes- Rilo Kiley
I Ain't Saying My Goodbyes- Tom Vek
If I Nu You (Chicken Lips Dub)- Soul Mekanik
Give Me Some More- Dominic Plaza
Move Your Feet (Krafty Kuts Mix)- Junior Senior
Robot Rock- Daft Punk
Temperamental 2004- Everything But The Girl
Season of Young Mouss- Handsomeboy Technique
Dizzy Dumb feat. Sean Clark- Hardcandy

That's your lot. Another dose of top choons not for the average garden variety idiot.

 

[terrytoo]

Tesko Suicide- Lemon Jelly
You're My Disco- Fischerspooner
The Time We Lost Our Way- Thievery Corporation
Damn Damn Leash- Be Your Own Pet
Why Do You Love Me- Garbage
C'mere- Interpol
Somewhere Else- Razorlight
Shiver- Natalie Imbruglia (those on this website fascinated with posting pictures of Dorises they like to have a wank to will love the video to this song. It's got Miss Imbruglia in it. A breeder wankers paradise.)

 

[terrytoo]

Some "good" music for the riders of the white knuckle club from the Third Division music thread to listen to while they examine their one-handed reading material:

It Ended On An Oily Stage- British Sea Power
Tunnels- Arcade Fire
Love Steals Us From Loneliness- Idlewild
Dangerous- Plump DJ's & Kraft Kuts
What Would We do?- DSK
You Never Know (Filur vs Morjac remix)- Marly
77 Strings- Chamonix