Best & Worst on-pitch slags

[CDK]

Not an on field slag but...

The Great Croatia Captain, Joe McQuade, of the late 80's use to take a pre-game dump in the other teams dressing room.

I'm not sure if it worked against them psychologically(sp) but it was really funny watching them put on their kit out on the field while we were doing our warm-up.

 

[Captain Shamrock]

It caught me off guard but....

Just ignore him. It is not his fault he was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

No it wasn't politically correct but it was appropriate for the fellow. I think it was to the guy who challenged our whole team to a fight after we beat North Van 4 - 2.


The worst truly is....

Bring it on, ass hole. Just wait until the game is over. You're dead.....

An Italian classic, I think.

Captain

 

[The Apprentice]

VERY CLOSE

Captain,

Typical Italian comment is : wanna go asshole, wait till after the game, your dead, you know who I am

 

[Fastshow]

last weekend....

On the weekend I trotted out for a side made up of foreign office toffs playing against some massive PLC multi-national firm from The City. In the second half, with my side pissing on them, a player from either side started a brilliant bout of handbags at twenty paces. As each player desperately waited for someone from their team to come in and separate them since neither had the bottle to actually do anything, the taunts became more and more juvenile before the truly poetic climax of one of The City lads screaming, 'You're fcuking toilet, mate!' To this my teammate brilliantly replied, 'You're fcuking toilet, pal.' And so on. To see two supposedly clever fellas getting so wound up they were close to tears was something I haven't seen since The Captain and Gordo came back from 'golf'.

 

[whataboutbob]

Westside Legend

Me and Gregor Young get into it one game and a younger Westside lad comes up to my face and says; "Do you know who this is?"

I really don't care who the fcuk it is!

 

[Demolition]

HUH

PLaying againt aldergrove yesterday, I had to have a good laugh.
Went in hard on a 50-50 ball and won it cleanly, as i was running down the park, the guy that lost his shorts, was running behind me taking exception to losing the ball??? was yelling at me I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD. (Very Classy).
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But that's what you get against aldergrove i guess.

This wouldn't be considered a slag but it was so funny.( also against aldergrove).
This is men's div2. and this is coming from aldergrove's coach

"OK BOY'S LET'S SEE THAT RAZZLE DAZZLE " Our whole team couldn't stop howling as he said this more than once during the game

 

[Ballbaby]

Hey I didn't realize that this thread was here. Cool.

A game against the Whitecap's reserves and Ralph Masucchio was playing up front for them. I guess I went in on a tackle kinda hard and he looks at me and says, " You betta watch it, owe I'w bweak yow fcukin wegs." Then I looked over my shoulder and asked him who he was talking to cause ole Ralphy was a little cross-eyed and I couldn't quite tell. Then I started moving side to side and taunted him, "I'm over here Ralph. No, I'm over here now." Then I looked over at someone yelling at me from the stands at Empire and this big bodybuilding guy was screaming at me, Ralph's dad, and he wasn't cross-eyed, and he didn't lisp. So I corrected my attitude.

Ralph was a great player at that time and has lead a very interesting life. So what if he lisped.

 

[knvb]

Back pocket

My fave this year! A certain big guy with a great call on me (untrue but wound me up) Iv'e got you in my back pocket bitch.

Classic meat head call.

theregoesknvbstiringthepotagain

 

[Ballbaby]

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy

The Great Croatia Captain, Joe McQuade, of the late 80's use to take a pre-game dump in the other teams dressing room.

That's pretty ironic as Joe's younger brother Tom is a teammate of mine on Surrey United O'30's. Tom tries to mimic his older brother but the problem is either he is constipated or he shites himself before he gets to the other teams changeroom.

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy!

 

[sarge]

banana hammock

Ball Baby,

I finally found out who you were thanks to Regs this weekend. The only slag I can think of takes me back to England. Remember those days........immediately what comes to my mind is those aweful BANANA HAMMOCKS you had, bums to the ceiling, crazy birds and Malcolm! It's amazing how soccer is not one of those memories.

 

[the insider]

Just noticed this thread...

A ref (who also happens to be the VMSL Ref scheduler) had shown up in these ridiculous looking baggy track pants. Despite his own less-than-professional attire he decided that it was a good time to constantly and annoyingly instruct players to tuck in their shirts. He apparently didn't see the irony.

It was late in the 2nd half and I was jogging back through the centre circle (where else would you find the ref when the play is down by the corner flag) and out of my mouth comes "Maybe you could keep up with the play if you got out of those pajamas". His face went beet red and out came a yellow card.

 

[Franz Bakingpowder]

Here's a baddin'

We were playing a team in North Van called Maplewood United. We were only playing with 9 players throughout the game (Grey Cup), and still beat them 4-0. At the end of the game after we shook hands one of the players said to us "Too bad you guys can't play as well as you can wine!" What a clown!

Franz

 

[Vinnie]

Here's a classic..

Sometime last year our goalie got into a little tussle with one the opposing teams forwards. Upon leaving the field our goalie spouts.....


"You're the one your momma should have swallowed!"

Needless to say, the player never responded.

 

[fat monkey]

A few years back, in my Fatter Monkey-like days, this long-haired freaky bitch tried to take me on out wide. I stepped in, stripped the ball away (without really trying; or even touching him for that matter), and dished it off to a teammate. What does the dork say?

Not bad for a fat guy.

Holy shite, did I get pissed. Two minutes later, he tried to take me on again. I dropped my shoulder into his sternum and sent him into the fifth row of spectators. He had trouble breathing and had to leave the pitch, and did not return that day. I received a yellow card - and a lot of laughter from my teammates - for my effort.

Guess he shoulda called me something else....

 

[Skytrain]

Originally posted by Fat Monkey
A few years back, in my Fatter Monkey-like days, this long-haired freaky bitch tried to take me on out wide. I stepped in, stripped the ball away (without really trying; or even touching him for that matter), and dished it off to a teammate. What does the dork say?

Not bad for a fat guy.

Holy shite, did I get pissed. Two minutes later, he tried to take me on again. I dropped my shoulder into his sternum and sent him into the fifth row of spectators. He had trouble breathing and had to leave the pitch, and did not return that day. I received a yellow card - and a lot of laughter from my teammates - for my effort.

Guess he shoulda called me something else....

Fat Monkey, wake up your dreaming again! Unlike most of the TTPers I have seen you play You get affraid of little school girls running you over

 

[fat monkey]

school girl, huh?

Why not tell everyone about your Game Winning Goal this year Skytrain?

And I suppose you are going to stick to your story that the stitches and concussion last weekend are from a collision during the game. Come on! We saw you at the elementary school afterwards. We saw that little girl dummy you!

You got whupped...

 

[Skytrain]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm little school girls

 

[CDK]

Best

Croatia A's Dav after someone sent him a ball into a corner, he turned to the player and said, loud enough for everyone in the park to hear, "I'm 33 years old!! You can't expect me to run.".

That was after he had already scored 3 on Inter.

 

[BullyB]

2 for 1

Masters league, Olys vs GEU.
Some ****ney git forward slams into our centre back and then continues to refer to him is a wet blouse while the ref gives him a yellow card.
Never one to shy away from a tackle, 15 seconds later, Shaun Springett and I both body slam sandwhich the guy on the next bounce of the ball.
When he came too, we were both stood over him yelling
"Get up you wet Girls Blouse". the ref had a good laugh and play went on. Revenge can be so sweet sometimes.

 

[sid]

skelton

playing in schelt tourney , on the reserve camping, cralled onto the pitch from our tent (stilled pissed)
davy axel skelton shouts out to the native team

ARE YOU GUYS THE "A" TEAM OR THE RESERVE TEAM "
should of seen their faces
well done skelly!