Best & Worst on-pitch slags

[whataboutbob]

No Masters League For Me

That sounds like a rough league with some tough boys. I'll stick to the Eastern Hockey League.

 

[whataboutbob]

Sid and Sechelt

From what I recall, you were always crawling out of some Teepee on the Band's soccer field. Sometimes, there wasn't even a Teepee! wink, wink, nudge, nudge

 

[Reccos]

Alex Bell

A few years back when coaching my then div. 2 team vs. Lomas, I was giving Alex Bell a hard time for his 50th missed call without leaving the centre circle,when he yelled at me "Shut up you sound like an old woman complaining all the time".

To which I replied "Well, you're reffing like one so I guess that makes two of us".

Alex went nuts, left the centre circle for the first time since the half started. But when he got to me on the sideline where I was standing about 5 feet from a Lomas guy who was nearly pissing himself laughing, Alex was so exasperated he could hardly talk. Frig was his face red!!!

I hesitated to post this as I am not sure if you had to be there to appreciate how funny it was. For our team and me, it was a lot funnier because both teams were laughing and Alex was clearly embarrassed. What made it worse when he got to me was the Lomas guy standing so close to me and totally breaking up- that pissed off Alex even more.

Needless to say, I don't get Christmas greetings from him.

 

[whataboutbob]

whatever, Reccos

That isn't the reason Alex doesn't give you a Christmas greeting! For that matter, do you ever get a greeting from anybody? And my wife doesn't count!

 

[Jack The Lad]

I remember a game a few years back. I think Peg was involved when one player on the other team was telling his teammates to pick up and he was referring to the other players as fellows. I think Reidy may remember this one.

Jack is the Lad.

 

[SC]

the 'Ageism' I have faced in the last week

Scenario I - Inter-squad Game
Actors: SC - potential new signing player, Showtime - Ref, Coach Lil D - potential new coach

SC gets shafted and is selected to play on the B squad. At the end of the game Coach Lil D brings the troops in. “Did everyone watch SC play tonight? She may be 42 and all, but brings a lot of experience to the team. She was well composed tonight.” (Meanwhile SC and Showtime turn to each other as say “was he even watching the same shocking game?”

Scenario II - First Practice
Actors: SC - new recruit veteran & Kurgan’s Wife
Kurg’s wife: “Hey SC, Jess and I are soooooo happy you have joined the team. It means we aren’t the oldest ones anymore”

Scenario III - First Practice, Drills
Actors: SC-new signee & 18yr old Rookie from Kamloops

Rookie: “Hi, I don’t believe we have met, where have you been all this time? Injured? Sick?
SC: “No, you don’t know who I am because, well, I am 30".

 

[trece verde]

from somebody who really is that old.....

best slag that I can remember was back in Mike Carpenter's old summer league (about 12 years ago). We had picked up a very talented midfielder FOB from France, and he was not above being a bit of a showboat.

En route to his 3rd goal of a game we were playing, he beat the other team's sweeper quite badly, and then megged him with a back-heeled ball to make matters worse. Right after the ensuing kickoff, the sweeper came up behind him and chopped him down, with the intelligent comment of "ya fcukin' Frog!" Brilliant......

Gilles got up and in the most pompous French manner possible, replied "you 'ave ze brains of a fooking cabage!" We all rolled on the ground in hysterical laughter, just itching for him to add "now go away or I will taunt you a second time!"

Stew

 

[Ballbaby]

Great one Stew

Well done Stew. That was funny and I think I'll use that line with a Greek accent at training. But I'll have to meg someone first. Aves is pretty game.

 

[SC]

forced to do this because

a fellow TTPer thinks my above post was a little 'pathetic'. I didn't think I would have to explain this but here goes...
Dear ****, Is this a way to 'try' to get under my skin or something? Stay away from my post then, if you don't want to read them. (I stay away from yours).
Reason #1 why you wouldn't understand it : your age
Reason #2 : My age, and the difference between some of these rookies that think they 'have it' and the veterans like me that 'still have it'.
Reason #3: you don't know me, or my playing abilities and other TTPers do know my skills (they would all have a good laugh because of me disrespecting the youth of today)-go ahead, ask a fellow TTper that knows me and they'll tell you it was funny.
Reason #4: because I rock and was asked to play for a team to help build up their confidence up front (AND all over the pitch).
Reason #5: I have been to one game and one training session and everyone except me was bent over from exhaustion. (I usually box for 2 hours prior to practice)-so THEIR fitness level is a little pathetic, considering it WASN'T even me that was keeled over. (except Jenn too)
Reason #6: it was a little bit of a piss on me and on the situation (in other words, if you feel it was pathetic, so was your attempt in getting to know me better) (I know some of you old farts can relate to the above. If you back me up, The Appy, who is only 12 1/2, still won't believe me)

 

[SC]

looks like "Appy" wants a re-match

Say it on the playing field "Appy".
Again, my response to your last PM, and I think I would say this on the field, if I had the chance to.
This is the last you will read from me re:this topic. Sorry to air the dirty laundry here folks.
"I think I am the one 'getting' to you (for what reasons I don't know) - I don't need to promote my football skills to you of all people (not offended by what you say).
My skill level can be backed up by my 'titles' - which I believe were already bragged about in the Women's MWSL.
BTW, it isn't the boxing that you bounce around to music and punch the air! - I sprained a wrist hitting my coach in the face!
Isn't love grad?
~You are only as old as you think you are (and I don't care how old I am, it is others that think you cannot do things when you reach a certain age). I think it is way above your head anyhow! Nice chatting with you 'Appy', take care of yourself and watch your back!"
+TTP Dragon Lady (again ALL, sorry to air here) - back to those Canucks

 

[Keeper]

This is the last you will read from me re:this topic.

Somehow, I doubt it.

 

[Ballbaby]

SC,

I'll go a round with you if you wish, and I wouldn't be jealous if you last longer.

A typical male, aren't I ? Well not really!

 

[SC]

Come on keeps

It's over. I found out someone doesn't have balls, but not like Ballbaby

+SCBBTTPDL

 

[The Apprentice]

Sorry I took so long Princess

SC, I too doubt that this is the last we here from you on this subject. I sent you a "p.m." to let you know what I thought of a post...and like usual you try to make an attempt to draw some attention to yourself. It is good that you can still compete at a high level at your age. I hope that when I reach your age I am still alive. I totally understood your post, but after two scenarios I thought you would call it quits. Just kinda got sick of reading three stories that ended up being the same. Maybe you intended those scenarios to reach a different audience than myself and so instead of carving you on the thread I sent you a polite p.m., expressing my feelings about your post. Probably cause I was bored. Your skill level can not be measured by your titles. I could care less if you have won titles, so have I, titles come from great teams not great individuals. And I could care less if you have punched your coach in the face, tell that story to ref beater he might be amused. You seem to think that i was attacking you personally but I wasn't until you posted on the thread ( actually like reading your posts). You seem to say how you rock, or you still have it and your so great....congratulations. Airing dirty Laundry.... Know your Roll and go do some Laundry.

I'm already having trouble sleeping at night and now I have to watch my back...

 

[Buckfast]

Fantastic

Apprentice,

Brilliant stuff, pal. Maybe Zenga can take your lead on being witty and humorous.....instead of being fcuking twat.

Cheers,

Buckfast

 

[Ballbaby]

Apprentice,

That was very well written. I don't seem to be as irked by SC's banter like some others. Maybe because deep down inside I always like to keep my options open. You know, she may private message me, and say: "Hey I know you are happily married with great kids but why don't we just have a romp? No one will need to know."

It can happen you know. So you just have to keep your options open. That's just the way I am. So sexualchocolate is ok with me.

Dumdedumdum.

 

[SC]

At least your post was nicer than your PM

"Appy", it is too bad you need to use lerb to get you through your days...

My mistake: I meant trainer, not coach(and you are supposed to hit your trainer)

Back to topic now


BTW Ballbaby, I've blocked you from my PM system

+SCBBTTPDL

 

[Regs]

Back to topic now

That would be nice, wouldn't it? How all this crap got in here, I''ll never know

~TB.

 

[Ballbaby]

I'll take the blame Regs. I thought the title of this thread was "Best & Worst on-pitch shags.

I apologize.

 

[SC]

L.O.L. Ballbaby

Webman, if only you were around last evening you would have caught this banter (or lack there of)
BTW, I already said sorry too

"Carry on"

+SCknowswhywebmanmayhavemissedit